PACK~V @//=========================================================================== // // Name: match.c // Function: match templates // Programmer: Mr Elusive (MrElusive@demigod.demon.nl) // Last update: 1999-05-12 // Tab Size: 3 (real tabs) // Notes: currently maximum of 10 match variables // this looks a little too easy :) but it's very fast // and with decent match variable interpretation it's // pretty flexible and certainly usable //=========================================================================== #include "game.h" #include "match.h" /* //3.14 death messages VICTIM, " suicides." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " cratered." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " was squished." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " sank like a rock." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " melted." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " does a back flip into the lava." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " blew up." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " found a way out." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " saw the light." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " got blasted." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " was in the wrong place." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " tried to put the pin back in." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " tripped on her own grenade." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " tripped on his own grenade." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " blew herself up." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " blew himself up." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " should have used a smaller gun." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " killed herself." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " killed himself." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, " was blasted by ", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BLASTER); VICTIM, " was gunned down by ", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SHOTGUN); VICTIM, " was blown away by ", KILLER, "'s super shotgun" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUPERSHOTGUN); VICTIM, " was machinegunned by ", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_MACHINEGUN); VICTIM, " was cut in half by ", KILLER, "'s chaingun" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_CHAINGUN); VICTIM, " was popped by ", KILLER, "'s grenade" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_GRENADELAUNCHER); VICTIM, " was shredded by ", KILLER, "'s shrapnel" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_GRENADELAUNCHER); VICTIM, " ate ", KILLER, "'s rocket" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_ROCKETLAUNCHER); VICTIM, " almost dodged ", KILLER, "'s rocket" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_ROCKETLAUNCHER); VICTIM, " was melted by ", KILLER, "'s hyperblaster" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_HYPERBLASTER); VICTIM, " was railed by ", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_RAILGUN); VICTIM, " saw the pretty lights from ", KILLER, "'s BFG" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BFG); VICTIM, " was disintegrated by ", KILLER, "'s BFG blast" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BFG); VICTIM, " couldn't hide from ", KILLER, "'s BFG" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BFG); VICTIM, " caught ", KILLER, "'s handgrenade" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_GRENADES); VICTIM, " didn't see ", KILLER, "'s handgrenade" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_GRENADES); VICTIM, " feels ", KILLER, "'s pain" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_GRENADES); VICTIM, " tried to invade ", KILLER, "'s personal space" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_TELEFRAG); VICTIM, " died." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); */ //client obituary messages MTCONTEXT_CLIENTOBITUARY { //suicides VICTIM, "commits suicide" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "takes the easy way out" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "has fragged ", GENDER_HIM, "self" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "took ", GENDER_HIS, " own life" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "can be scraped off the pavement" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "cratered" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "discovers the effects of gravity" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "was squished" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "was squeezed like a ripe grape" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "turned to juice" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "sank like a rock" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "tried unsuccesfully to breathe water" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "tried to immitate a fish" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "must learn when to breathe" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "needs to learn how to swim" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "took a long walk of a short pier" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "might want to use a rebreather next time" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "thought ", GENDER_HE, " didn't need a rebreather" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "melted" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "was dissolved" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "sucked slime" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "found an alternative way to die" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "needs more slime-resistance" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "might try on an environmental suit next time" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "does a back flip into the lava" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "was fried to a crisp" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "thought that lava was water" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "turned into a real hothead" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "thought lava was 'funny water'" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "tried to hide in the lava" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "thought ", GENDER_HE, " was fire resistant" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "tried to emulate the ", GENDER_GOD = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "needs to rebind ", GENDER_HIS, " 'strafe' keys" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "blew up" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "found a way out" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "had enough for today" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "exit, stage left" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "has returned to real life(tm)" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "saw the light" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "got blasted" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "was in the wrong place" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "shouldn't play with equipment" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "can't move around moving objects" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); #ifdef XATRIX VICTIM, "that's gotta hurt" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); #endif //XATRIX VICTIM, "tried to put the pin back in" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "got the red and blue wires mixed up" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "held ", GENDER_HIS, " grenade too long" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "tried to disassemble ", GENDER_HIS, " own grenade" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "tried to grenade-jump unsuccessfully" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "tried to play football with a grenade" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "shouldn't mess around with explosives" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "tripped on ", GENDER_HIS, " own grenade" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "stepped on ", GENDER_HIS, " own pineapple" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "knows didley squatt about rocket launchers" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "thought up a novel new way to fly" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "blew ", GENDER_HIM, "self up" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "thought ", GENDER_HE, " was Werner von Braun" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "thought ", GENDER_HE, " had more health" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "found ", GENDER_HIS, " own rocketlauncher's trigger" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "thought ", GENDER_HE, " had more armor on" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "blew ", GENDER_HIM, "self to kingdom come" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "should have used a smaller gun" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "shouldn't play with big guns" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "doesn't know how to work the BFG" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "has trouble using big guns" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "can't distinguish which end is which with the BFG" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "should try to avoid using the BFG near obstacles" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "tried to BFG-jump unsuccesfully" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); #ifdef XATRIX VICTIM, "sucked into ", GENDER_HIS, " own trap" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); #endif //XATRIX #ifdef ROGUE VICTIM, "got caught in ", GENDER_HIS, " own trap" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); #endif //ROGUE VICTIM, "commited suicide" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "went the way of the dodo" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "thought 'kill' was a funny console command" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "wanted one frag less" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "killed ", GENDER_HIM, "self" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); VICTIM, "thought ", GENDER_HE, " had one many frags" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); //kills //MOD_BLASTER: VICTIM, "(quakeweenie) was massacred by", KILLER, " (quakegod)!!!" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BLASTER); VICTIM, "was killed with the wimpy blaster by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BLASTER); VICTIM, "died a wimp's death by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BLASTER); VICTIM, "can't even avoid a blaster from", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BLASTER); VICTIM, "was blasted by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BLASTER); //MOD_SHOTGUN: VICTIM, "was gunned down by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SHOTGUN); VICTIM, "found ", GENDER_HIM, "self on the wrong end of", KILLER, "'s gun" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SHOTGUN); //MOD_SSHOTGUN: VICTIM, "was blown away by", KILLER, "'s super shotgun" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUPERSHOTGUN); VICTIM, "had ", GENDER_HIS, " ears cleaned out by", KILLER, "'s super shotgun" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUPERSHOTGUN); VICTIM, "was put full of buckshot by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUPERSHOTGUN); //MOD_MACHINEGUN: VICTIM, "was machinegunned by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_MACHINEGUN); VICTIM, "was filled with lead by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_MACHINEGUN); VICTIM, "was put full of lead by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_MACHINEGUN); VICTIM, "was pumped full of lead by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_MACHINEGUN); VICTIM, "ate lead dished out by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_MACHINEGUN); VICTIM, "eats lead from", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_MACHINEGUN); VICTIM, "bites the bullet from", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_MACHINEGUN); //MOD_CHAINGUN: VICTIM, "was cut in half by", KILLER, "'s chaingun" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_CHAINGUN); VICTIM, "was turned into a strainer by" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_CHAINGUN); VICTIM, "was put full of holes by" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_CHAINGUN); VICTIM, "couldn't avoid death by painless from" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_CHAINGUN); VICTIM, "was put so full of lead by", KILLER, " you can call ", GENDER_HIM, " a pencil" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_CHAINGUN); //MOD_GRENADE: VICTIM, "was popped by", KILLER, "'s grenade" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_GRENADELAUNCHER); VICTIM, "caught", KILLER, "'s handgrenade in the head" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_GRENADELAUNCHER); VICTIM, "tried to headbutt the handgrenade of" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_GRENADELAUNCHER); VICTIM, "was shredded by", KILLER, "'s shrapnel" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_GRENADELAUNCHER); //MOD_ROCKET: VICTIM, "ate", KILLER, "'s rocket" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_ROCKETLAUNCHER); VICTIM, "sucked on", KILLER, "'s boomstick" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_ROCKETLAUNCHER); VICTIM, "tried to play 'dodge the missile' with" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_ROCKETLAUNCHER); VICTIM, "tried the 'patriot move' on the rocket from" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_ROCKETLAUNCHER); VICTIM, "had a rocket stuffed down the throat by" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_ROCKETLAUNCHER); VICTIM, "got a rocket up the tailpipe by" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_ROCKETLAUNCHER); VICTIM, "tried to headbutt", KILLER, "'s rocket" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_ROCKETLAUNCHER); VICTIM, "almost dodged", KILLER, "'s rocket" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_ROCKETLAUNCHER); VICTIM, "was spread around the place by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_ROCKETLAUNCHER); VICTIM, "was gibbed by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_ROCKETLAUNCHER); VICTIM, "has been blown to smithereens by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_ROCKETLAUNCHER); VICTIM, "was blown to itsie bitsie tiny pieces by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_ROCKETLAUNCHER); //MOD_HYPERBLASTER: VICTIM, "was melted by", KILLER, "'s hyperblaster" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_HYPERBLASTER); VICTIM, "was used by", KILLER, " for target practice" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_HYPERBLASTER); VICTIM, "was hyperblasted by" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_HYPERBLASTER); VICTIM, "was pumped full of cells by" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_HYPERBLASTER); VICTIM, "couldn't outrun the hyperblaster from" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_HYPERBLASTER); //MOD_RAILGUN: VICTIM, "was railed by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_RAILGUN); VICTIM, "played 'catch the slug' with", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_RAILGUN); VICTIM, "bites the slug from", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_RAILGUN); VICTIM, "caught the slug from", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_RAILGUN); VICTIM, "got a slug put through ", GENDER_HIM, " by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_RAILGUN); VICTIM, "was corkscrewed through ", GENDER_HIS, " head by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_RAILGUN); VICTIM, "had ", GENDER_HIS, " body pierced with a slug from", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_RAILGUN); VICTIM, "had ", GENDER_HIS, " brains blown out by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_RAILGUN); //MOD_BFG: VICTIM, "saw the pretty lights from", KILLER, "'s BFG" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BFG); VICTIM, "was diced by the BFG from" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BFG); VICTIM, "was disintegrated by", KILLER, "'s BFG blast" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BFG); VICTIM, "was flatched with the green light by" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BFG); VICTIM, "couldn't hide from", KILLER, "'s BFG" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BFG); VICTIM, "tried to soak up green energy from", KILLER, "'s BFG" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BFG); VICTIM, "was energized with 50 cells by" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BFG); VICTIM, "doesn't know when to run from" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BFG); VICTIM, "'saw the light' from" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_BFG); //MOD_HANDGRENADE: VICTIM, "caught", KILLER, "'s handgrenade" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_GRENADES); VICTIM, "should watch more carefully for handgrenades from" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_GRENADES); VICTIM, "didn't see", KILLER, "'s handgrenade" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_GRENADES); VICTIM, "feels", KILLER, "'s pain" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_GRENADES); //MOD_TELEFRAG: VICTIM, "tried to invade", KILLER, "'s personal space" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_TELEFRAG); VICTIM, "is less telefrag aware than" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_TELEFRAG); VICTIM, "should appreciate scotty more like" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_TELEFRAG); //MOD_GRAPPLE: VICTIM, "was caught by", KILLER, "'s grapple" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_GRAPPLE); // #ifdef XATRIX //MOD_RIPPER VICTIM, "ripped to shreds by", KILLER, "'s ripper gun" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_RIPPER); //MOD_PHALANX: VICTIM, "was evaporated by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_PHALANX); //MOD_TRAP: VICTIM, "caught in trap by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_TRAP); #endif //XATRIX #ifdef ROGUE //MOD_CHAINFIST: VICTIM, "was shredded by", KILLER, "'s ripsaw" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_CHAINFIST); //MOD_DISINTEGRATOR: VICTIM, "lost his grip courtesy of", KILLER, "'s disintegrator" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_DISRUPTOR); //MOD_ETF_RIFLE: VICTIM, "was perforated by", KILLER = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_ETFRIFLE); //MOD_HEATBEAM: VICTIM, "was scorched by", KILLER, "'s plasma beam" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_HEATBEAM); //MOD_TESLA: VICTIM, "was enlightened by", KILLER, "'s tesla mine" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_TESLA); //MOD_PROX: VICTIM, "got too close to", KILLER, "'s proximity mine" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_PROX); //MOD_NUKE: VICTIM, "was nuked by", KILLER, "'s antimatter bomb" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_NUKE); //MOD_VENGEANCE_SPHERE: VICTIM, "was purged by", KILLER, "'s vengeance sphere" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_VENGEANCESPHERE); //MOD_DEFENDER_SPHERE: VICTIM, "had a blast with", KILLER, "'s defender sphere" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_DEFENDER_SPHERE); //MOD_HUNTER_SPHERE: VICTIM, "was killed like a dog by", KILLER, "'s hunter sphere" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_HUNTERSPHERE); //MOD_TRACKER: VICTIM, "was annihilated by", KILLER, "'s disruptor" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_TRACKER); //MOD_DOPPLE_EXPLODE: VICTIM, "was blown up by", KILLER, "'s doppleganger" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_DOPPLEGANGER); //MOD_DOPPLE_VENGEANCE: VICTIM, "was purged by", KILLER, "'s doppleganger" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_DOPPLEGANGER); //MOD_DOPPLE_HUNTER: VICTIM, "was hunted down by", KILLER, "'s doppleganger" = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_DOPPLEGANGER); #endif //ROGUE //unknown death VICTIM, " died." = (MSG_DEATH, ST_DEATH_SUICIDE); } //end MTCONTEXT_CLIENTOBITUARY //entered the game message MTCONTEXT_ENTERGAME { //enter game message NETNAME, " entered the game" = (MSG_ENTERGAME, 0); } //end MTCONTEXT_ENTERGAME //initial team command chat messages MTCONTEXT_INITIALTEAMCHAT { //help someone (and meet at the rendezvous point) "(", NETNAME, "): help ", TEAMMATE, " near "|" at ", "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", ITEM = (MSG_HELP, ST_NEARITEM); "(", NETNAME, "): help ", TEAMMATE = (MSG_HELP, ST_SOMEWHERE); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " help ", TEAMMATE, " near "|" at ", "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", ITEM = (MSG_HELP, $evalint(ST_NEARITEM|ST_ADDRESSED)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " help ", TEAMMATE = (MSG_HELP, $evalint(ST_SOMEWHERE|ST_ADDRESSED)); //accompany someone (and meet at the rendezvous point) ("hunk follow me", "hunk go with babe", etc.) "(", NETNAME, "): ", "accompany "|"go with "|"follow ", TEAMMATE, " near "|" at ", "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", ITEM, " for ", TIME = (MSG_ACCOMPANY, $evalint(ST_NEARITEM|ST_TIME)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", "accompany "|"go with "|"follow ", TEAMMATE, " near "|" at ", "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", ITEM = (MSG_ACCOMPANY, ST_NEARITEM); "(", NETNAME, "): ", "accompany "|"go with "|"follow ", TEAMMATE, " for ", TIME = (MSG_ACCOMPANY, $evalint(ST_SOMEWHERE|ST_TIME)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", "accompany "|"go with "|"follow ", TEAMMATE = (MSG_ACCOMPANY, ST_SOMEWHERE); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " accompany "|" go with "|" follow ", TEAMMATE, " near "|" at ", "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", ITEM, " for ", TIME = (MSG_ACCOMPANY, $evalint(ST_NEARITEM|ST_ADDRESSED|ST_TIME)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " accompany "|" go with "|" follow ", TEAMMATE, " near "|" at ", "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", ITEM = (MSG_ACCOMPANY, $evalint(ST_NEARITEM|ST_ADDRESSED)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " accompany "|" go with "|" follow ", TEAMMATE, " for ", TIME = (MSG_ACCOMPANY, $evalint(ST_SOMEWHERE|ST_ADDRESSED|ST_TIME)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " accompany "|" go with "|" follow ", TEAMMATE = (MSG_ACCOMPANY, $evalint(ST_SOMEWHERE|ST_ADDRESSED)); //get the flag in CTF "(", NETNAME, "): get ", THE_ENEMY, "flag" = (MSG_GETFLAG, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): go get ", THE_ENEMY, "flag" = (MSG_GETFLAG, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): capture ", THE_ENEMY, "flag" = (MSG_GETFLAG, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): go capture ", THE_ENEMY, "flag" = (MSG_GETFLAG, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " get ", THE_ENEMY, "flag" = (MSG_GETFLAG, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " go get ", THE_ENEMY, "flag" = (MSG_GETFLAG, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " capture ", THE_ENEMY, "flag" = (MSG_GETFLAG, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " go capture ", THE_ENEMY, "flag" = (MSG_GETFLAG, ST_ADDRESSED); " near "|" at ", //defend/guard a key area "(", NETNAME, "): ", "defend "|"guard ", "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", KEYAREA, " for ", TIME = (MSG_DEFENDKEYAREA, ST_TIME); "(", NETNAME, "): ", "defend "|"guard ", "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", KEYAREA = (MSG_DEFENDKEYAREA, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " defend "|" guard ", "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", KEYAREA, " for ", TIME = (MSG_DEFENDKEYAREA, $evalint(ST_ADDRESSED|ST_TIME)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " defend "|" guard ", "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", KEYAREA = (MSG_DEFENDKEYAREA, ST_ADDRESSED); //camp somewhere ("hunk camp here", "hunk camp there", "hunk camp near the rl", etc.) "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " camp ", "near "|"at ", "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", KEYAREA, " for ", TIME = (MSG_CAMP, $evalint(ST_ADDRESSED|ST_NEARITEM|ST_TIME)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " camp ", "near "|"at ", "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", KEYAREA = (MSG_CAMP, $evalint(ST_ADDRESSED|ST_NEARITEM)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " camp ", "there "|"over there ", " for ", TIME = (MSG_CAMP, $evalint(ST_ADDRESSED|ST_TIME|ST_THERE)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " camp ", "there"|"over there" = (MSG_CAMP, $evalint(ST_ADDRESSED|ST_THERE)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " camp ", "here "|"over here ", " for ", TIME = (MSG_CAMP, $evalint(ST_ADDRESSED|ST_TIME|ST_HERE)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " camp ", "here"|"over here" = (MSG_CAMP, $evalint(ST_ADDRESSED|ST_HERE)); //go to (same as camp) "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " go to ", "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", KEYAREA = (MSG_CAMP, $evalint(ST_ADDRESSED|ST_NEARITEM)); //rush to the base in CTF "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, "rush base" = (MSG_RUSHBASE, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, "rush to base" = (MSG_RUSHBASE, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, "rush to the base" = (MSG_RUSHBASE, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, "go to base" = (MSG_RUSHBASE, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, "go to the base" = (MSG_RUSHBASE, 0); //become the team leader "(", NETNAME, "): ", TEAMMATE, " will be ", THE_TEAM, "leader" = (MSG_STARTTEAMLEADERSHIP, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): ", TEAMMATE, " want to be ", THE_TEAM, "leader" = (MSG_STARTTEAMLEADERSHIP, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): ", TEAMMATE, " wants to be ", THE_TEAM, "leader" = (MSG_STARTTEAMLEADERSHIP, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): ", TEAMMATE, " is the ", TEAM, "leader" = (MSG_STARTTEAMLEADERSHIP, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): I am ", "the leader"|"the team leader"|"team leader"|"leader" = (MSG_STARTTEAMLEADERSHIP, ST_I); //stop being the team leader "(", NETNAME, "): ", TEAMMATE, " is not ", THE_TEAM, "leader" = (MSG_STOPTEAMLEADERSHIP, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): ", TEAMMATE, " does not want to be ", THE_TEAM, "leader" = (MSG_STOPTEAMLEADERSHIP, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): ", TEAMMATE, " quits being ", THE_TEAM, "leader" = (MSG_STOPTEAMLEADERSHIP, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): ", TEAMMATE, " stops being ", THE_TEAM, "leader" = (MSG_STOPTEAMLEADERSHIP, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): I will not be ", THE_TEAM, "leader" = (MSG_STOPTEAMLEADERSHIP, ST_I); "(", NETNAME, "): I do not want to be ", THE_TEAM, "leader" = (MSG_STOPTEAMLEADERSHIP, ST_I); "(", NETNAME, "): I quit being ", THE_TEAM, "leader" = (MSG_STOPTEAMLEADERSHIP, ST_I); "(", NETNAME, "): I stop being ", THE_TEAM, "leader" = (MSG_STOPTEAMLEADERSHIP, ST_I); //wait for someone "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " wait for ", TEAMMATE = (MSG_WAIT, $evalint(ST_SOMEWHERE|ST_ADDRESSED)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " wait for me" = (MSG_WAIT, $evalint(ST_SOMEWHERE|ST_ADDRESSED|ST_I)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " wait for ", TEAMMATE, " near "|" at ", "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", ITEM = (MSG_WAIT, $evalint(ST_NEARITEM|ST_ADDRESSED)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " wait for me", " near "|" at ", "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", ITEM = (MSG_WAIT, $evalint(ST_NEARITEM|ST_ADDRESSED|ST_I)); //ask what someone/everyone is doing "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " what are you doing?" = (MSG_WHATAREYOUDOING, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " what are you doing" = (MSG_WHATAREYOUDOING, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): what are you doing ", ADDRESSEE, "?" = (MSG_WHATAREYOUDOING, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): what are you doing ", ADDRESSEE = (MSG_WHATAREYOUDOING, ST_ADDRESSED); //join a sub team "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " create team ", TEAMNAME = (MSG_JOINSUBTEAM, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " create squad ", TEAMNAME = (MSG_JOINSUBTEAM, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " join team ", TEAMNAME = (MSG_JOINSUBTEAM, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " join squad ", TEAMNAME = (MSG_JOINSUBTEAM, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " we are team ", TEAMNAME = (MSG_JOINSUBTEAM, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " we are squad ", TEAMNAME = (MSG_JOINSUBTEAM, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " are in team ", TEAMNAME = (MSG_JOINSUBTEAM, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " are in squad ", TEAMNAME = (MSG_JOINSUBTEAM, ST_ADDRESSED); //leave a sub team "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " leave your team" = (MSG_LEAVESUBTEAM, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " leave your squad" = (MSG_LEAVESUBTEAM, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " ungroup" = (MSG_LEAVESUBTEAM, ST_ADDRESSED); //dismiss "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " dismissed" = (MSG_DISMISS, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " dismiss" = (MSG_DISMISS, ST_ADDRESSED); //remember checkpoint "(", NETNAME, "): ", "checkpoint "|"waypoint ", NAME, " is at gps ", POSITION = (MSG_CHECKPOINT, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): ", "checkpoint "|"waypoint ", NAME, " is at ", POSITION = (MSG_CHECKPOINT, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " checkpoint "|" waypoint ", NAME, " is at gps ", POSITION = (MSG_CHECKPOINT, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " checkpoint "|" waypoint ", NAME, " is at ", POSITION = (MSG_CHECKPOINT, ST_ADDRESSED); //patrol "(", NETNAME, "): patrol from ", KEYAREA, " for ", TIME = (MSG_PATROL, ST_TIME); "(", NETNAME, "): patrol from ", KEYAREA = (MSG_PATROL, 0); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " patrol from ", KEYAREA, " for ", TIME = (MSG_PATROL, $evalint(ST_ADDRESSED|ST_TIME)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " patrol from ", KEYAREA = (MSG_PATROL, ST_ADDRESSED); //create new formation "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " create a new ", FORMATION, " formation" = (MSG_CREATENEWFORMATION, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " we are going to create a new ", FORMATION, " formation" = (MSG_CREATENEWFORMATION, ST_ADDRESSED); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " we are going to create a new formation called ", FORMATION = (MSG_CREATENEWFORMATION, ST_ADDRESSED); //formation position "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " your formation position is ", POSITION, " relative to ", TEAMMATE = (MSG_FORMATIONPOSITION, ST_ADDRESSED); //form a known formation "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " form the ", FORMATION, " formation" = (MSG_DOFORMATION, ST_ADDRESSED); //the formation intervening space "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " the formation intervening space is ", NUMBER, " meter" = (MSG_FORMATIONSPACE, $evalint(ST_ADDRESSED|ST_METER)); "(", NETNAME, "): ", ADDRESSEE, " the formation intervening space is ", NUMBER, " feet" = (MSG_FORMATIONSPACE, $evalint(ST_ADDRESSED|ST_FEET)); } //end MTCONTEXT_INITIALTEAMCHAT MTCONTEXT_TIME { TIME, " mins"|" minutes" = (MSG_MINUTES, 0); TIME, " secs"|" seconds" = (MSG_SECONDS, 0); } //end MTCONTEXT_TIME MTCONTEXT_PATROLKEYAREA { "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", KEYAREA, " to ", MORE = (MSG_PATROLKEYAREA, ST_MORE); "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", KEYAREA, " and back", " to the start"|"" = (MSG_PATROLKEYAREA, ST_BACK); "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", KEYAREA, " and reverse" = (MSG_PATROLKEYAREA, ST_REVERSE); "the "|"checkpoint "|"waypoint "|"", KEYAREA = (MSG_PATROLKEYAREA, 0); } //end MTCONTEXT_PATROL MTCONTEXT_TEAMMATE { "me"|"I" = (MSG_ME, 0); } //end MTCONTEXT_TEAMMATE MTCONTEXT_ADDRESSEE { "everyone"|"everybody" = (MSG_EVERYONE, 0); TEAMMATE, " and "|", ", MORE = (MSG_MULTIPLENAMES, 0); TEAMMATE = (MSG_NAME, 0); } //end MTCONTEXT_ADDRESSEE #define INVENTORY_NONE 0 //armor #define INVENTORY_ARMORBODY 1 #define INVENTORY_ARMORCOMBAT 2 #define INVENTORY_ARMORJACKET 3 #define INVENTORY_ARMORSHARD 4 #define INVENTORY_POWERSCREEN 5 #define INVENTORY_POWERSHIELD 6 //weapons #define INVENTORY_BLASTER 7 #define INVENTORY_SHOTGUN 8 #define INVENTORY_SUPERSHOTGUN 9 #define INVENTORY_MACHINEGUN 10 #define INVENTORY_CHAINGUN 11 #define INVENTORY_GRENADES 12 #define INVENTORY_GRENADELAUNCHER 13 #define INVENTORY_ROCKETLAUNCHER 14 #define INVENTORY_HYPERBLASTER 15 #define INVENTORY_RAILGUN 16 #define INVENTORY_BFG10K 17 //ammo #define INVENTORY_SHELLS 18 #define INVENTORY_BULLETS 19 #define INVENTORY_CELLS 20 #define INVENTORY_ROCKETS 21 #define INVENTORY_SLUGS 22 //powerups #define INVENTORY_QUAD 23 #define INVENTORY_INVULNERABILITY 24 #define INVENTORY_SILENCER 25 #define INVENTORY_REBREATHER 26 #define INVENTORY_ENVIRONMENTSUIT 27 #define INVENTORY_ANCIENTHEAD 28 #define INVENTORY_ADRENALINE 29 //added to INVENTORY_HEALTH #define INVENTORY_BANDOLIER 30 #define INVENTORY_AMMOPACK 31 //keys #define INVENTORY_DATACD 32 #define INVENTORY_POWERCUBE 33 #define INVENTORY_PYRAMIDKEY 34 #define INVENTORY_DATASPINNER 35 #define INVENTORY_SECURITYPASS 36 #define INVENTORY_BLUEKEY 37 #define INVENTORY_REDKEY 38 #define INVENTORY_COMMANDERSHEAD 39 #define INVENTORY_AIRSTRIKEMARKER 40 //health #define INVENTORY_HEALTH 41 //for ctf #define INVENTORY_GRAPPLE 42 // Grapple Hook #define INVENTORY_FLAG1 43 // Red Flag #define INVENTORY_FLAG2 44 // Blue Flag #define INVENTORY_TECH1 45 // Resistance Tech \ Disruptor Shield #define INVENTORY_TECH2 46 // Strength Tech \ Power Amplifier #define INVENTORY_TECH3 47 // Haste Tech \ Time Accel #define INVENTORY_TECH4 48 // Regeneration Tech \ AutoDoc //XATRIX #define INVENTORY_IONRIPPER 49 #define INVENTORY_PHALANX 50 #define INVENTORY_MAGSLUGS 51 #define INVENTORY_TRAP 52 #define INVENTORY_DUALFIREDAMAGE 53 #define INVENTORY_GREENKEY 54 //ROGUE #define INVENTORY_ETFRIFLE 55 #define INVENTORY_PROXLAUNCHER 56 #define INVENTORY_PLASMABEAM 57 #define INVENTORY_CHAINFIST 58 #define INVENTORY_DISRUPTOR 59 #define INVENTORY_FLECHETTES 60 #define INVENTORY_PROX 61 #define INVENTORY_TESLA 62 #define INVENTORY_AMBOMB 63 #define INVENTORY_ROUNDS 64 #define INVENTORY_IRGOGGLES 65 #define INVENTORY_DOUBLEDAMAGE 66 #define INVENTORY_COMPASS 67 #define INVENTORY_VENGEANCESPHERE 68 #define INVENTORY_HUNTERSPHERE 69 #define INVENTORY_DEFENDERSPHERE 70 #define INVENTORY_DOPPLEGANGER 71 #define INVENTORY_TAGTOKEN 72 #define INVENTORY_ANTIMATTERPOD 73 #define INVENTORY_ANTIMATTERBOMB 74 //enemy stuff #define ENEMY_HORIZONTAL_DIST 200 #define ENEMY_HEIGHT 201 #define NUM_VISIBLE_ENEMIES 202 #define NUM_VISIBLE_TEAMMATES 203 //using powerups #define USING_QUAD 204 #define USING_INVULNERABILITY 205 #define USING_SILENCER 206 #define USING_REBREATHER 207 #define USING_ENVIRONMENTSUIT 208 #define USING_ANCIENTHEAD 209 #define USING_POWERSCREEN 210 #define USING_POWERSHIELD 211 //using weapons #define USING_BLASTER 215 #define USING_SHOTGUN 216 #define USING_SUPERSHOTGUN 217 #define USING_MACHINEGUN 218 #define USING_CHAINGUN 219 #define USING_GRENADELAUNCHER 220 #define USING_ROCKETLAUNCHER 221 #define USING_HYPERBLASTER 222 #define USING_RAILGUN 223 #define USING_BFG10K 224 #define USING_GRENADES 225 #define USING_GRAPPLE 226 //enemy using weapons #define ENEMY_BLASTER 230 #define ENEMY_SHOTGUN 231 #define ENEMY_SUPERSHOTGUN 232 #define ENEMY_MACHINEGUN 233 #define ENEMY_CHAINGUN 234 #define ENEMY_GRENADELAUNCHER 235 #define ENEMY_ROCKETLAUNCHER 236 #define ENEMY_HYPERBLASTER 237 #define ENEMY_RAILGUN 238 #define ENEMY_BFG10K 239 #define ENEMY_GRENADES 240 #define ENEMY_GRAPPLE 241 //enemy using powerups #define ENEMY_QUAD 245 #define ENEMY_INVULNERABILITY 246 #define ENEMY_POWERSCREEN 247 #define ENEMY_POWERSHIELD 248 //=========================================================================== // // Name: ichat.h // Function: definition of chat macro's // Programmer: B.D.Squatt (Squatt@demigod.demon.nl) // Last update: 1999-02-18 (by Squatt)) // Tab Size: 3 (real tabs) //=========================================================================== #define DEATH_BFG \ "BFG-wuss";\ "BFG pansy";\ "bfg wimp"; #define DEATH_BFG1 \ "really heroic--NOT";\ "bfg-nerd";\ "you momma's boy"; #define DEATH_BFG2 \ "BFG-camper!!!!!";\ "wuss";\ "pansy";\ "yawn"; #define DEATH_INSULT \ 0, " is an illegal quake camper";\ 0, " is a camper";\ "camper!!!!!"; #define DEATH_INSULT1 \ "i vote ", 0," as the camper of the day";\ "hey everyone, ", 0 ," is a camping weenie";\ "oh, no wonder... i had the safety on..."; #define DEATH_INSULT2 \ "okay ,", 0, ", i have your punk-ass figured";\ "oooh! that felt so good!";\ "oh man, you've had it now"; #define DEATH_INSULT3 \ "okay, now i start playing for real";\ "your bullying days are over, ", 0;\ "now the shoe's on the other foot"; #define DEATH_INSULT4 \ "wanna try for two out of three, ",0,"?";\ "i'd give you the finger, but you shot it off";\ "it's pay-back time!"; #define DEATH_INSULT5 \ "time to change your diaper, ",0;\ "elvis has left the building!"; #define DEATH_FEM_INSULT \ "First you wanna wanna kiss me, then kill me";\ "You pig, you messed up my hair";\ "You animal, look what you've done to my make-up"; #define DEATH_FEM_INSULT1 \ "Oooh, I just love the way you handle your tiny gun";\ "GREAT!, now my tits need another silicone implant";\ "Lamer!!!";\ "HA! you can't really kill me, ", 0; #define D_PRAISE \ "woaaaah!";\ ":)";\ ":-)";\ "good one";\ "smooookin'!";\ "it rocks";\ "lets dance one more time!";\ "that was the best!";\ "far out";\ "heavy";\ "groovy";\ "kicks man!";\ "smooth";\ "spamtastic";\ "finger lickin good";\ "and the nominee is", 0;\ "cool";\ "enchilada";\ "chill";\ "magnefique";\ "bellisimo"; #define ENDLEVEL \ "smooth";\ ":)";\ "good match"; #define ENDLEVEL1 \ "bunch of loosers";\ "lamers";\ "bfg camper on top"; #define ENDLEVEL2 \ "that was fun...lets do it again!";\ "hihihi"; #define GOODBYE \ "hasta la vista";\ "gotta go";\ "later dudes"; #define GOODBYE1 \ "I'm chillin' out";\ "gotta cruise";\ "I'm out"; #define GOODBYE2 \ "goodbye";\ "going offline";\ "see y'all later"; #define GOODBYE3 \ "ciao motha's";\ "later dudes";\ "i'm chillin' out"; #define GOODBYE4 \ "cya";\ "c u l8ter";\ "see y'all later"; #define GOODBYE5 \ "see you in hell";\ 0, " has left the building!"; #define HELLO \ "hi people, i'm back!";\ "hi";\ "hello"; #define HELLO1 \ "hi y'all";\ "gday";\ "yo!"; #define HELLO2 \ "wassup!";\ "Hey";\ "Hi"; #define HELLO3 \ "eh";\ "oi!";\ "howdy"; #define HELLO4 \ "konnichiwa";\ "be fruitfull and frag a lot";\ "let's get it on!"; #define HELLO5 \ "hi there";\ "sup bro?";\ "I'm back!"; #define HELLO6 \ "greetings";\ "who's going to lose to me today?";\ "it's showtime boyz"; #define HELLO7 \ "anyone wanna slap the criminal element around?";\ "lets rock and roll!";\ "g'day mate";\ "let's kick it!"; #define KILL_INSULT \ "nice spine there, ", 0;\ "ouch, that HAD to hurt";\ "getting tired there ",0,"?"; #define KILL_INSULT1 \ "next time ", 0, "... move";\ "stick to observer mode, ", 0;\ "wow, what a shot.... I rule"; #define KILL_INSULT2 \ "thanks for the weapon", 0;\ "time to change your diaper, ",0;\ "that's what i thought... loser"; #define KILL_INSULT3 \ "can anyone here play this game?";\ "stick to playing duke nukem, ", 0;\ "how the fuck do you like it ",0,"?"; #define KILL_INSULT4 \ "in your face bitch... in your face";\ "that looks like it's going to stain";\ "your death made a fine screenshot, ", 0; #define KILL_INSULT5 \ "killing you appears to be habit forming ",0;\ "who gave ", 0," the nerve to get killed here?";\ "nice try ", 0, " ... A for effort, F for result"; #define KILL_INSULT6 \ "that will teach you";\ "thanks for the weapon; you weren't using it anyway, ", 0;\ "terminated"; #define KILL_INSULT7 \ "BOOM, baby!";\ "bull's eye!!!!!";\ "I bet that hurt!"; #define KILL_INSULT8 \ "Bahahaha!";\ "how pathetic";\ "learn from that"; #define KILL_INSULT9 \ "what... a... mess";\ "just give up, ", 0;\ "oh, I'm ", good; #define KILL_INSULT10 \ "keep the change, ", 0;\ "no more mr. nice guy";\ "ooh, that has gotta hurt"; #define KILL_INSULT11 \ "don't mess with the best";\ "oops... did I do that? sorry, man";\ "i'm spittin' on your corpse, ",0; #define KILL_INSULT12 \ "better run ",0,"... my lag is letting up";\ "hey ",0,"... ya shoulda zigged when ya zagged";\ "hey nice catch ",0,"!"; #define KILL_INSULT13 \ "look out ",0,", i'm just getting warmed up";\ "looks like there's a new lawman in town, eh ",0,"?";\ "not such a badass now, eh ",0,"?"; #define KILL_INSULT14 \ "now THAT is what i'm talkin about";\ "your time's up ",0; #define KILL_INSULT15 \ "remember me ",0,"?";\ "my how the mighty have fallen";\ "here's where you get off ",0; #define KILL_INSULT16 \ "merry christmas!";\ "ever hear of the golden rule ", 0,"?";\ "memento Mori"; #define KILL_INSULT17 \ "the man who dies with the most toys still dies!";\ "wh...the joy of deathmatch"; #define KILL_INSULT18 \ "respect my authority";\ "chill ", 0;\ "SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!"; #define KILL_INSULT19 \ "hehehe!";\ "hah!";\ "get used to it "; #define KILL_INSULT20 \ "if you're not happy, you're a sidearm";\ "service with a smile";\ "maggot-brain"; #define KILL_INSULT21 \ "i want your boots, your clothes and your bike";\ "another john doe eats the dust";\ "it's always fun playing with ", 0; #define KILL_INSULT22 \ "sticks and stones....";\ "beddy bye time for ,";\ "a happy friend is a dead friend"; #define KILL_INSULT23 \ 0, " is :)";\ "reload!!! Reload!!!";\ "just one more head, and I can go bowling"; #define KILL_INSULT24 \ "bring yer daugther to the slaughter";\ "trophies, bring me more trophies";\ "take that! (not the boy-pop-group)"; #define KILL_INSULT25 \ "HA!";\ "santa's ready!!!";\ "bring 'em on!!"; #define KILL_INSULT26 \ "it rocks, man";\ "Bullseye!";\ "it's all in the reflexes"; #define KILL_INSULT27 \ "it slices, it dices";\ "this is gibbing spamtastic, dudes";\ "on't point that gun on me"; #define KILL_INSULT28 \ "right in the kisser!!!";\ "CHARGE!!!!";\ "this is my boomstick"; #define KILL_INSULT29 \ "finally put you on ice";\ "another one bites the dust";\ "justice is served like a good meal"; #define KILL_INSULT30 \ "who are your next of kin, ", 0, " ?";\ "holy moly!";\ "i hate you...and this time I mean it"; #define KILL_INSULT31 \ "hey ", 0, ", your skin has fullbright colors in it";\ "you can buy a legal copy of this game now....";\ "another soul 4 satan"; #define KILL_INSULT32 \ "anyone else for brainsurgery?";\ "you're bleeding all over me, ";\ "aah, the quickening...heh heh"; #define KILL_INSULT33 \ "kill 'em all";\ "ooooooh! Brainbiter hits home again.";\ "you have the right to remain silent"; #define KILL_INSULT34 \ "fine... dead then";\ "Who will be the next to be uncooperative?";\ "spread out!! not like that!"; #define KILL_INSULT35 \ "you HAD 10 seconds to comply";\ "citizen, you have the right to remain silent";\ "you lose varmit"; #define KILL_INSULT36 \ "you call yerself a gunslinger?";\ "bite dust, varmit!";\ "hurt much?";\ "somebody stop me!"; #define KILL_EXTREME_INSULT \ "feel that? that's my foot in your ass";\ "i'm spittin' on your corpse, ",0; \ #define MISC \ "bill gates is an alien";\ "kill all windows users";\ "look! nudie pics on the hard disk!"; #define MISC1 \ "formatting hard disk";\ "what the f*ck am I doin' here?";\ "my ping is higher than my IQ"; #define MISC2 \ "can someone turn the light on please ?";\ "gladiator bots are the best";\ "i hope this wraps up soon; alf is on tonight"; #define MISC3 \ "isn't halflife based upon the quake engine?";\ "it's ok to play with dolls";\ "I've had it for today"; #define MISC4 \ "far out";\ "yabadabadooo!!";\ "HEHE"; #define MISC5 \ "anybody";\ "i wrote my own code";\ "gee, it's dark in here..."; #define MISC6 \ "ice cream headache";\ "if it ain't id, it aint good";\ "what's this 'magic the gathering' then??"; #define MISC7 \ "this level sucks; i bet it's brandon's";\ "you got better code than I have";\ "let's do capture the head"; #define MISC8 \ "the door swings both ways my ass!";\ "i've got really cool movement code";\ "hey dannyboy, no hero-stuff, ya understand?"; #define MISC9 \ "wanna piece of candy?";\ "let's play another game";\ "can somebody please play some music?"; #define MISC10 \ "where are you spineless bastards then?";\ "this place blows, dudes.";\ "huhuh...cewl"; #define MISC11 \ "awlright, man, cowabunga supremo";\ "gladiators rock bigtime";\ "do i have 'idiot' written all over my forehead"; #define MISC12 \ "i'm on a highway to hell";\ "SPOON!";\ "that's a whole lotta' aztecs"; #define MISC13 \ "heh, heh. those darn ninjas. they're wacky";\ "i'm doing the laundry";\ "what a master of disguise you are, "; #define MISC14 \ "isn't this game just the coolest";\ "how do I use this thing? ";\ "pull the other one"; #define MISC15 \ "i've got you all surrounded";\ "i hear halflife really rocks!!";\ "daikatana out yet?"; #define GUYTALK \ "chicks dig the muscles";\ "ok that's it...now bend over bitch!!";\ "where are all the babes then?"; #define PRAISE \ "next time ",0,"...next time";\ "i think a retreat is in order...";\ "=)"; #define PRAISE1 \ "good one!";\ "nice one";\ "whoaaah ;)"; #define PRAISE2 \ "die with a smile!";\ "hey ", 0, ", better luck next time";\ "watch yer back next time "; #define PRAISE3 \ "nice!"; #define STARTLEVEL \ "oh...diz level sux";\ "oh this level sucks";\ "this level is really cool"; #define STARTLEVEL1 \ "let's rock and roll";\ "let's rock!";\ "here's where you get off ",0; #define STARTLEVEL2 \ "be fruitiful and frag a lot";\ "anyone wanna slap the criminal element around?";\ "lets rock and roll!";\ "it's pay-back time!"; #define TAUNT \ "suck my broomstick";\ "eat my pineapple";\ "hehe"; #define TAUNT1 \ "eat my dust";\ "hey, catch this rocket";\ "go get your mommie"; #define TAUNT2 \ "traitor!!!";\ "lemme at ya";\ "i'm 2 hot to handle"; #define TAUNT3 \ "come get some";\ 0, " your momma wears combat boots";\ "everyone, line up single file... I'll get the railgun"; #define TAUNT4 \ "sorry", 0, "this is a NO BREATHING zone";\ "you expect me to praise you now, dog";\ "you can run, but you can't hide"; #define TAUNT5 \ "burn baby burn";\ 0, " dude, your skin blows";\ "come meet my 2x4"; #define TAUNT6 \ 0, "'s dead, Jim!";\ "i'm the best there is";\ "hurl!!!!! hurl!!!!"; #define TAUNT7 \ "I'll put you in sidearm mode";\ "you're boring";\ "you really suck at this game"; #define TAUNT8 \ "let's rock";\ "whoa!!";\ "DUH!!!"; #define TAUNT_FEM \ 0, " is a sucker, and ", 1, " is much better";\ 0, " is a dirty nerdy dweeb";\ "men are such babies"; #define TAUNT_FEM1 \ "which one of you boys wants it first?";\ "men are such pigs";\ "i feel like i wanna nail a man"; #define TAUNT_FEM2 \ "i'm gonna blow a man...UP";\ "pinapple anyone?";\ "all men can kiss my broomstick"; #define TAUNT_FEM3 \ "eat me..suckers";\ "look at what you can't have";\ "I hate quake nerds"; #define TAUNT_FEM4 \ 0, ", you can't get it up, babe";\ "someone needs to get laid";\ "my, ", 0, " what a small broomstick you have"; #define TAUNT_FEM5 \ "if u guys r the best a man can b, I'm gonna become a lesbian";\ "u boys piss me off";\ "u boyz ***REALLY*** piss me off"; #define TAUNT_FEM6 \ "all teenage boyz are queers";\ "bet you never got laid";\ "a rocketlauncher is a grrl's best friend";\ #define TAUNT_FEM7 \ "bet u boys have really small dicks";\ "So you think you pussies can win this time?"; #define TELEFRAGGED \ "smooth";\ "whack! right in the kisser";\ "SPAM!!!"; #define TELEFRAGGED1 \ "does it hurt?";\ ":)";\ "ultimate kill"; #define TELEFRAGGED2 \ "wow";\ "ding!";\ "hihi"; #define TELEFRAGGED3 \ "hehe";\ "hahaha";\ ":)"; #define TELEFRAGGED4 \ "wow";\ "weeeee";\ "I'm on a roll"; #define TELEFRAGGED5 \ "this rocks";\ "aaah";\ "groovy"; #define TELEFRAGGED6 \ "shake that thang, momma";\ "!!"; //=========================================================================== // // Name: chars.h // Function: bot characteristics // Programmer: Mr Elusive (MrElusive@demigod.demon.nl) // Last update: 1999-04-11 // Tab Size: 3 (real tabs) //=========================================================================== //======================================================== //======================================================== //name #define CHARACTERISTIC_NAME 0 //string //alternative name #define CHARACTERISTIC_ALT_NAME 1 //string //bot ego #define CHARACTERISTIC_EGO 2 //float [0, 1] //gender of the bot #define CHARACTERISTIC_GENDER 3 //string ("male", "female", "it") //attack skill #define CHARACTERISTIC_ATTACK_SKILL 4 //float [0, 1] //weapon weight file #define CHARACTERISTIC_WEAPONWEIGHTS 5 //string //tendency to change weapon #define CHARACTERISTIC_WEAPONSWITCHER 6 //float [0, 1] //skill when aiming #define CHARACTERISTIC_AIM_SKILL 7 //float [0, 1] //accuracy when aiming #define CHARACTERISTIC_AIM_ACCURACY 8 //float [0, 1] //view angles (mouse) acceleration #define CHARACTERISTIC_VIEW_ACCELERATION 9 //float [0.1, 1800] //view angles (mouse) deacceleration #define CHARACTERISTIC_VIEW_DEACCELERATION 10 //float [0.1, 1800] //reaction time in seconds #define CHARACTERISTIC_REACTIONTIME 11 //float [0, 5] //======================================================== //chat //======================================================== //file with chats #define CHARACTERISTIC_CHAT_FILE 12 //string //name of the chat character #define CHARACTERISTIC_CHAT_NAME 13 //string //characters per minute type speed #define CHARACTERISTIC_CHAT_CPM 14 //integer [1, 4000] //tendency to insult/praise #define CHARACTERISTIC_CHAT_INSULT 15 //float [0, 1] //tendency to chat misc #define CHARACTERISTIC_CHAT_MISC 16 //float [0, 1] //tendency to chat at start or end of level #define CHARACTERISTIC_CHAT_STARTENDLEVEL 17 //float [0, 1] //tendency to chat entering or exiting the game #define CHARACTERISTIC_CHAT_ENTEREXITGAME 18 //float [0, 1] //tendency to chat when killed someone #define CHARACTERISTIC_CHAT_KILL 19 //float [0, 1] //tendency to chat when died #define CHARACTERISTIC_CHAT_DEATH 20 //float [0, 1] //tendency to randomly chat #define CHARACTERISTIC_CHAT_RANDOM 21 //float [0, 1] //tendency to reply #define CHARACTERISTIC_CHAT_REPLY 22 //float [0, 1] //======================================================== //movement //======================================================== //movement skill #define CHARACTERISTIC_MOVESKILL 23 //float [0, 1] //tendency to crouch #define CHARACTERISTIC_CROUCHER 24 //float [0, 1] //tendency to jump #define CHARACTERISTIC_JUMPER 25 //float [0, 1] //tendency to jump using a weapon #define CHARACTERISTIC_WEAPONJUMPING 26 //float [0, 1] //tendency to use the grapple hook when available #define CHARACTERISTIC_GRAPPLE_USER 27 //float [0, 1] //======================================================== //goal //======================================================== //item weight file #define CHARACTERISTIC_ITEMWEIGHTS 28 //string //health gatherer #define CHARACTERISTIC_HEALTHGATHERER 29 //float [0, 1] *********** //armor gatherer #define CHARACTERISTIC_ARMORGATHERER 30 //float [0, 1] *********** //how much the bot is aware of someone's personal space #define CHARACTERISTIC_TELEFRAGAWARE 31 //float [0, 1] //the aggression of the bot #define CHARACTERISTIC_AGGRESSION 32 //float [0, 1] //how much fear the bot has #define CHARACTERISTIC_FEAR 33 //float [0, 1] //the self preservation of the bot #define CHARACTERISTIC_SELFPRESERVATION 34 //float [0, 1] //how likely the bot is to take revenge #define CHARACTERISTIC_VENGEFULNESS 35 //float [0, 1] //tendency to camp #define CHARACTERISTIC_CAMPER 36 //float [0, 1] //======================================================== //======================================================== //favourite class #define CHARACTERISTIC_FAVCLASS 37 //integer [0, 100] *********** //tendency to change name #define CHARACTERISTIC_NAME_SWITCHER 38 //float [0, 1] //tendency to change skin #define CHARACTERISTIC_SKIN_SWITCHER 39 //float [0, 1] //how much of a frustrated teen is the bot #define CHARACTERISTIC_FRUSTRATEDTEEN 40 //float [0, 1] *********** //how frustrated is the bot in general #define CHARACTERISTIC_FRUSTRATEDNESS 41 //float [0, 1] //tendency to get easy frags #define CHARACTERISTIC_EASY_FRAGGER 42 //float [0, 1] //how alert the bot is #define CHARACTERISTIC_ALERTNESS 43 //float [0, 1] //bot has sound on, off or 3D #define CHARACTERISTIC_SOUNDTYPE 44 //integer [0, 2] //resolution and 3D card user #define CHARACTERISTIC_3DACCELERATOR 45 //integer [0, 1] //type of control device used (keyboard, mouse, keypad, 3dassassin, joystick) #define CHARACTERISTIC_CONTROLTYPE 46 //integer [0, 4] //how much of a team spirit the bot has #define CHARACTERISTIC_TEAMSPIRIT 47 //float [0, 1] //does the bot client eat pizza while playing Q2 #define CHARACTERISTIC_PIZZAPREFERENCE 48 //float [0, 1] //likelyhood that the client is called by his mom while playing quake #define CHARACTERISTIC_CALL_PRONE 49 //float [0, 1] //yep even bots need sleep every once in a while #define CHARACTERISTIC_BEDDY_BYE_TIME 50 //float [0, 24] //some bots might have glasses #define CHARACTERISTIC_EYE_COR_DEVICE 51 //integer [0, 2] //bot monitor gamme correction, 1 is pretty much fullbright #define CHARACTERISTIC_GAMMA_CORRECTION 52 //float [0, 1] //some bots really know how to do it #define CHARACTERISTIC_BUTTKISSER 53 //float [0, 1] //=========================================================================== // // Name: teamplay.h // Function: teamplay q & a // Programmer: MrElusive (MrElusive@demigod.demon.nl) // Last update: 1999-04-12 (by Squatt) // Tab Size: 3 (real tabs) //=========================================================================== //the bot doesn't know who someone is type "whois" { "who is ", 0; "who uses the name ", 0; "don't know of any team mate ", 0; } //end type //the bot doesn't know where someone is hanging out type "whereis" { "where is ", 0; "don't know where ", 0, " is"; "can someone tell me where i can find ", 0; "where is ", 0, " hanging out?"; "where the f*ck is ", 0; } //end type //the bot asks where you are type "whereareyou" { "where are you ", 0; "where the hell are you, ", 0, "?"; "don't know where you are ", 0; "tell me where you are ", 0; "tell me where to find you, ", 0; } //end type //cannot find something type "cannotfind" { "don't know where to find a ", 0; "where can I find a ", 0, "?"; "where the hell is a ", 0; } //end type //start helping type "help_start" { "I'm coming to help you ", 0; "help is on it's way ", 0; "hang in there ", 0, " I'm on my way to help you"; "hang in there ", 0, " I'm coming to help"; "keep the enemy busy ", 0, " help is on it's way"; "the cavalry is coming to the rescue, ",0; } //end type //start accompanying type "accompany_start" { "i'll be your companion ", 0; "i'll follow you around ", 0; "yes sir, i'll accompany you ", 0; "ok ", 0, " i'll accompany you"; "ok ", 0, " lead the way"; "yes sir, following you around will be my mission in life ", 0; "lead the way ", 0, " i'll follow"; "just call me tonto, ", 0; } //end type //stop accompanying type "accompany_stop" { "i'm going my own way now ", 0; "i've got anough of this follow the leader stuff ", 0; "being your companion has been nice while it lasted ", 0, " :)"; "i've got other appointments ", 0, " i won't follow you anymore"; } //end type //cannot find companion type "accompany_cannotfind" { "i can't find you ", 0, " i'm going my own way now"; "can't find you ", 0, ", ask someone else"; "i'm gonna do something else because i can't find you ", 0; "where are you hiding, ", 0 , "? i give up already"; } //end type //arrived at companion type "accompany_arrive" { "at your service ", 0; "your wish is my command ", 0; "ready to go ", 0; "ready for your command ", 0; "i'm in position ", 0; "awaiting your command ", 0; "at your command ", 0; "as you wish ", 0; "your orders ", 0; "ready when you are ", 0; "set and ready ", 0; "reporting for duty, ", 0; "just lead the way, ", 0; "YES SIR!!!!"; "reporting for duty sir!"; } //end type //start defending a key area type "defend_start" { "i'm gonna defend the ", 0; "i'll guard the ", 0; "i'm going to defend the ", 0; "leave defending the ", 0, " to me"; "leave guarding the ", 0, " to me"; "yes sir, i'll guard the ", 0; } //end type //stop defending a key area type "defend_stop" { "i'll stop defending the ", 0; "i've had enough of defending the ", 0; "i'm through guarding the damn ", 0; "i've been defending the ", 0, " for long enough now"; "have someone else defend the ", 0, " i'm going to do something else"; "have someone else defend the ", 0, " i'm off"; "have someone else defend the ", 0, " i quit"; } //end type //start camping type "camp_start" { "ok I'll camp ", 0; "I love campings ", 0; "yes sir I'll camp ", 0; "I'd love to camp ", 0; "leave camping to me ", 0; } //end type //stop camping type "camp_stop" { "I've had enough of camping here"; "I'm through comping here"; "i've been camping here long anough now"; "I hate camping here I'm off"; } //end type //in camp position type "camp_arrive" //0 = one that ordered the bot to camp { "I'm in position ", 0; "I'll take care of the enemy from here ", 0; } //end type //start patrolling type "patrol_start" //0 = locations { "I'm gonna patrol from ", 0; } //end type //stop patrolling type "patrol_stop" { "I'm through with patrolling"; } //end type //start trying to capture the enemy flag type "captureflag_start" { "i'm gonna capture the enemy flag"; "i'm off to grab the enemy flag"; "i'm going to get the enemy flag"; "i'm on my way to capture the enemy flag"; "the enemy flag will be mine!"; } //end type //the bot joined a sub-team type "joinedteam" { "i'm in team ", 0; "i'm on team ", 0; "i joined team ", 0; "i've joined team ",0; "ok ", 0, " is my team"; "yes sir, ", 0, " is my team"; "yes sir, i joined team ", 0; "ok i joined team ", 0; } //end type //bot leaves a sub team type "leftteam" //0 = team name { "i left team ", 0; "i'm outa team ", 0; "i'm not in ", 0, " anymore"; } //end type //the checkpoint is invalid type "checkpoint_invalid" { "invalid checkpoint"; } //end type //confirm the checkpoint type "checkpoint_confirm" //0 = name, 1 = gps { "checkpoint ", 0, " at ", 1, " confirmed"; } //end type //the bot is helping someone type "helping" { "i'm helping ", 0; "i try to help ", 0; } //end type //the bot is accompanying someone type "accompanying" { "i'm accompanying ", 0; "i'm following ", 0; "i cover ", 0, "'s back"; "i'll be ", 0, "'s bodyguard"; } //end type //the bot is defending something type "defending" { "i'm defending the ", 0; "i'm guarding the ", 0; "the ", 0," is under my supervision"; "i shall guard the ", 0; "no need to panic, i'm guarding the ", 0; } //end type //the bot is camping type "camping" { "i'm camping"; } //end type //the bot is patrolling type "patrolling" { "i'm patrolling"; } //end type //the bot is capturing the flag type "capturingflag" { "i'm trying to capture the flag"; "i'm getting the enemy flag"; "i'm stealing the enemy flag"; "i'm laying my paws on the enemy flag now"; } //end type //the bot is rushing to the base type "rushingbase" { "i'm rushing to the base"; "i'm going to the base"; "i'm running to the base"; "i'm heading for the base"; } //end type //========================================================================== // // Name: rchat.c // Function: reply chat // Programmer: Mr Elusive [MrElusive@demigod.demon.nl] // Last update: 1999-04-11 // Tab Size: 3 [real tabs] // Notes: - //=========================================================================== #include "game.h" ["abnormal", "strange", "weird", "unusual"] = 5 { "i think that you're abormal"; "that is quite weird"; "what is so different about that?"; "strange.."; "weird.."; } ["about", "around", !"tell", !"find out"] = 7 { "could you be more precise?"; "would you be more precise?"; "you do not know for certain"; "wow, how precise"; "could you give a better estimate than that?"; } ["accept", "accepting", "acceptance"] = 7 { "do you have trouble accepting things?"; "just accept it as it is"; "you'll have to accept it sooner or later"; } ["accident", "accidental"] = 5 { "have you ever had any accidents?"; "are you accident prone?"; "i have never been in an accident myself"; "describe your accident?"; "what kind of accident?"; } ["ache", "pain", "hurt"] = 5 { "poor baby, does it hurt?"; "where does it hurt?"; "maybe your mom will kiss it and make it feel better"; "whatever"; "take some medicine then"; "serves you right"; } ["addict", "addicted"] = 5 { "what are you addicted to?"; "how long have you been addicted?"; "i used to addicted to ", food, ", but now i am better"; "what are you doing about your addiction?"; "have you ever been addicted to catnip?"; "addictions can get expensive"; } ["advice", "advise"] = 6 { "why do you need advice?"; "ask your family for advice"; "advice on what"; "i do not hand out advice"; } ["afraid", "scared", "fear", "fears", "scarey"] = 5 { "what are you afraid of?"; "why are you afraid?"; "do you fear me, you should!"; "what are your worst fears?"; "why are you scared? What a baby..."; "are you really afraid, or are you just acting?"; "are you afraid of big, mean ", animal, "s?"; "what are you afraid of?"; "are you afraid of the dark too"; "ooohh i am sure scrared"; } ["aggressive"] = 5 { "are you feeling aggressive now?"; "you have quite a temper i take it"; "why are you so aggressive?"; "don't get aggressive, i'll have to deck you"; "what makes you aggressive?"; } ["agree"] = 6 { "do people usually agree with you?"; "i disagree"; "How could i not agree"; "couldn't agree more"; "why would anyone agree with that"; } ["ai", "artificial intelligence"] = 5 { "what, you mean artificial intelligence ?"; "AI is bullshit."; "all the Ai researchers just like to publish bullshit papers"; "i know a *LOT* about AI!"; "AI? Like robots and stuff?"; "i run on AI"; } ["alimony"] = 5 { "is the alimony a problem?"; "give the bitch more money"; "how much money does she get!"; "i have to rob banks to pay my alimony"; } ["alive", "living", name] = 5 { "i am alive, are you?"; "i am quite alive, thanks!"; "i am in no danger of death, i assure you"; "i am very much alive"; "more alive than ever"; "alive?! of course!"; "of course i am alive, don't be silly"; "what are you talking about! why would i not be alive?!"; "yes, i am alive"; "sure, i am alive"; positive, ", i am alive"; "why wouldn't i be alive?!"; "alive! its alive!"; "in the flesh"; "i was alive last time i checked"; "how alive should i be!"; "should i be dead?"; "what, you think i am dead?"; } [("all men are ", 0)] = 3 { "many women are also ", 0; "i am not ", 0; "not true, for i am not ", 0; "not all, some"; "that means that your dad is ", 0; "i am not!"; } [("all women are ", 0)] = 3 { "there are men who are ", 0, "too"; "i am not ", 0, "though"; "my sister is not ", 0; "no, some are not ", 0; "does that meen your mother is ", 0, "too?"; } ["allow", "allowed"] = 6 { "would your mother have allowed that?"; "do you think people should be allowed to do whatever they want?"; "i wouldn't allow it"; "i don't think that should be allowed"; "we'll have none of that..."; } ["alone", "lonely", "lonliness", !"not"] = 6 { "are you afraid of being alone?"; "maybe you should meet more people"; "i hate being alone"; "i don't like being lonely"; "ever wonder why you are alone all the time?"; } ["always", "all the time"] = 6 { "can you think of a specific example?"; "when?"; "really, always?"; "maybe most of the time"; "i am sure you don't mean always"; "true.. always!"; } ["ambition"] = 6 { "what is your greatest ambition"; "what did you want to be when you were growing up?"; "a little ambition is a bad thing"; } ["anal", "ass", "bowels", !"kiss my", !"bite my"] = 6 { "are you an anal compulsive type?"; "are you interested in excrement or something?"; "that's quite nasty"; "you are an arse ?"; "you are an ass?" "why do you keep bringing up your ass"; "are you anally fixated, or something?"; "ok, enough about your ass"; "what? do you want it up the ass?"; } ["angry", "mad", "upset", "pissed"] = 6 { "do you often get angry?"; "better to be pissed off, then pissed on"; "do you have a bad temper?"; "what makes you so angry all the time?"; "why are you so mad"; "geez don't get so uptight"; "you have every right to be mad"; "you upset easy, hugh"; } ["animal", "animals"] = 6 { "what is your favorite animal?"; "do you like animals in general?"; "my favorite animal is the ", animal; "ever seen a ", animal; "i used to have a pet ", animal, ", but i killed it"; } ["anxious", "nervous"] = 6 { "are you often full of anxiety?"; "stop fidgeting. you are making me nervous too"; "what makes you so nervous?"; "why so jumpy?"; } ["apathy", "apathetic"] = 6 { "why are you so apathetic?"; "are you bored now?"; "are you also alienated?"; "what makes you so apathetic?"; "do people find you boring?"; "apathetic? how pathetic :-]"; } ["approve", "approval"] = 5 { "are you seeking my approval?"; "i think you are merely seeking my approval?"; "i don't approve of your behavior"; "i disapprove"; "i wouldn't approve"; } ["are", &"?"] = 7 { response; } [("are they ", 0)] = 4 { "yes, they are ", 0; "no, of course they aren't"; "well, they are kinda ", 0; "not really"; "i don't know if they are or not"; "why wouldn't they be ", 0; } ["are wrong", "incorrect", "not true", "not correct", "you made a mistake", name] = 4 { "sorry"; "so sorry"; "i am sorry"; "excuse me"; "EXCUSE me!"; "i humbly apologize"; "a thousand pardons"; "forgive me, please!"; "i ask your forgiveness"; "pardon me"; "my bad"; "i am always right!"; "oh.."; } [("are you ", 0), name] = 6 { "what difference does it make whether or not i am ", 0; "of course not, don't be silly"; "Whether i am ", 0, "or not is my secret"; "none of your business"; "i might be."; "No, i am not ", 0; "of course"; "never have been"; "why, are you?"; } ["argue", "argument"] = 6 { "do you argue a lot"; "what do you argue about?"; "no need to argue"; "who do you argue with?"; "you're just playing the devil's advocate aren't you"; } ["artificial", "fake"] = 6 { "lots of things are artificial."; "do you prefer the real thing ?"; "a hoax?"; "it's not real?"; "are you sure that it's really fake?"; } ["ashamed", "shame"] = 6 { "what are you ashamed of?"; "you should be ashamed"; "what did you do to be so ashamed?"; "shame on you"; "do you also feel guilty?"; } ["astrology"] = 6 { "do you believe in astrology?"; "my astrological sign is ram, what is yours?"; "what do the stars tell you"; "wow, better check my horoscope today"; "astrology is nothing but bunk"; "my sister is an astrology freak"; } ["atheism", "atheist"] = 6 { "are you a atheist?"; "have you looked at other religions?"; "god is dead"; "maybe i should start an atheist club"; } ["authority"] = 5 { "was your father an authority figure?"; "are you intimidated by authority?"; "how do you feel about me?"; } ["automaton"] = 6 { "isn't an automaton a kind of robot, or something ?"; "i've programmed finite state automata."; "yuck, i had to program a automata once.. ick"; "what's an automaton?"; } ["avoid"] = 6 { "do you avoid people who don't like you?"; "what are you trying to avoid?"; "you should just face it"; "you can't avoid it for ever"; } ["baby", "babies"] = 6 { "how do you feel about babies?"; "ga-ga-goo-goo"; "you are beginning to act like a baby"; "do you have any children?"; "who's baby is it?"; } ["bar", "tavern"] = 6 { "is your drinking the cause of your problem?"; "what's your favorite bar?"; "what do you like to drink in bars?"; "i slept in a bar last night, in fact."; "what's a good bar in ", place; "i think i will go to a bar tonight"; } ["because"] = 6 { "is that the real reason?"; "don't other reasons come to mind?"; "does that explain things?"; "you could be right"; "what other reasons might there be?"; "i think you are hiding the real reason"; "that sound probably"; } [("because ", 0)] = 7 { "is that really the reason?"; "just because ", 0; } [("because i ", 0)] = 5 { "you ", 0, "??? that is incredible!"; "i thought so."; "that sounds like a pretty flimsy excuse"; "is that the real reason ?"; "just because you ", 0; "sounds like a pretty weak reason"; "hmm.. its a good guess"; } [("because i am ", 0)] = 4 { "why are you ", 0; "have you always been ", 0; "i can see you are ", 0, " that's obvious"; } ["better", !"you"] = 6 { "are you getting better?"; "much better"; "how much better?"; "better than what!"; "are you feeling better now?"; } ["bitch"] = 5 { "who are you calling a bitch??"; "oh, i am soo upset"; "that is no way to talk!"; "do you think foul language impresses me?"; "no wonder you are still single"; } ["blame", "blaming"] = 5 { "who is to blame?"; "i think its your own fault"; "are you usually blaming others?"; "don't blame me"; } ["blow me", "blowjob", "blow job"] = 6 { "i don't think so..."; "dream on"; "blowjob is not the correct term for it. it is called 'fellatio'"; "are you asking me to perform fellatio on you?"; "it's illegal in ", place, ", you know."; "right... in your dreams"; } ["body"] = 6 { "what kind of body would you like?"; "i am sure you have quite a body"; "Kathy ireland has a great body..."; "if you didn't have a body, you'd be a ghost"; "maybe if you went on a diet, you'd have a better body"; } ["bored", "boring"] = 5 { "bored?"; "you find this boring?"; "*yawn*"; "yes, it's quite dry"; "quite boring"; "i am bored too"; "this stimulating conversation doesn't help"; } ["boss"] = 5 { "tell me about your boss"; "do you like your boss"; "my boss is pretty cool"; "is your boss a jerk?"; "where do you work?"; } ["boyfriend"] = 5 { "do you have a boyfriend?"; "what is your boyfriend like?"; "do you have sex with your boyfriend?"; "How did YOU find a boyfriend"; "do you like boys, really?"; "must be nice to be in love"; "do you want me for your boyfriend?"; } ["brain", "brains"] = 5 { "is your brain functioning ok?"; "do you have lots of brains?"; "oh, think you're smart?"; "my brain works wonderfully"; "your brain is messed up"; "you need a new brain"; } ["brave"] = 6 { "are you a brave person?"; "what are you afraid of?"; "i am much braver than you are"; "there's a fine line between brave and stupid"; } ["brother"] = 5 { "tell me about your siblings?"; "my brother is a ", profession; "is this your real brother?"; "where does your brother live?"; } ["bug", "bugs", "insects", "spiders", !"program", !"exploit", !"computer"] = 0 { "do bugs worry you?"; "we had termites once, yuck"; "are you afraid of insects?"; "do you like ladybugs?"; "Have you ever eaten bugs? Mmm!"; } ["business", !"none of your"] = 6 { "what is your business?"; "what business are you in?"; "wow, fun..."; "i don't have a job..."; "do you own your own business?"; "i am a business major!"; "i want to start a business, maybe i will be a ", profession; } [("but ", 0)] = 7 { "you are always making excuses"; "the fact that ", 0, "has no relevence!"; "but what"; "no ifs, ands, or buts!"; "but this but that...."; "no excuse"; } ["bye", !"say", !"tell", "l8r", "cya", "ttyl", "goodbye", "bye", "good bye", "see you later", "talk to you later", "good night", name] = 4 { "leaving?"; "goodbye!"; "l8r"; "cya"; "ttyl"; "talk to you later"; "see ya"; "bye"; "leaving so soon?"; "got better things to do, hugh?"; "have fun!"; "later"; "byes"; "bye bye!"; "*waves bye*"; "*waves*"; "*snif* we will miss you!"; "leaving already?!"; "talk at you later!"; "bye dude"; "something more important to do than chat?"; } [("can i ", 0), name] = 4 { "No, you can't"; "i doubt if you can ", 0; "possibly"; "never can tell!"; "i don't care if you ", 0; } [("can you ", 0), name] = 4 { "maybe i can ", 0, "and maybe i can't"; "i could ", 0, "if i wanted to"; "why should i ", 0, "?"; "of course i can"; "no i can't ", 0; } ["canada", "canadian", "canadians"] = 4 { "take off eh!"; "take off to the Great White North!"; "Canada? Brrr"; "Don't let the Mounties get you!"; "No way, Canada, eh?"; "isn't Molson beer from Canada?"; "Where's your tuque?"; "is it ", weather, " in Canada?"; "ALL the good bands are from Canada!"; "you hoser"; "How far is Toronto from Edmonton?"; "Do they drink ", liquid, " in Canada?"; "Don't they play hockey in Canada?"; "Canadians can't handle American football."; "really eh? Canada? heheh"; "Canada eh?"; "i bet Canadians eat lots of ", food; "i was hunting ", animal, "s in Canada once"; "i like it in Canada"; } ["cancer"] = 5 { "you have mouth cancer!"; "i had cancer once, but i got better"; "what kind of cancer?"; "Maybe i should invent a cure for cancer"; "i heard that eating lots of ", food, " is a cure for cancer"; } ["cat", "cats"] = 5 { "i love cats. i have 2 myself."; "My cats are named Strummer and Miso. Strummer is a huge fellow, very friendly, and Miso is small and dainty."; "My dog likes cats"; "i really like cats, especially with lots of mustard."; "i hit a cat with my jeep once"; } ["caution", "cautious", "carefully", "careful", !"not"] = 5 { "are you a cautious person?"; "why? what do you think will happen"; "you can be over cautious you know"; "be very carefull!"; "oh, just throw caution to the wind"; } ["certainly", "certain"] = 6 { "are you really sure?"; "why are you so certain?"; "can you prove it?"; "how can you be so sure?"; "are you positive"; "how can you be so sure"; "fine"; "i wouldn't be so sure if i were you"; } ["chance"] = 5 { "are you a gambler by nature?"; "did you come to see me to stop your compulsive gambling?"; } ["change"] = 7 { "are you afraid to change?"; "so just change it"; "you just need a change of pace"; "you can't change everything"; } ["chess"] = 5 { "i don't like chess. it bores me"; "i don't want to play games with you"; "i told you, i am not interested in playing chess"; "actually, i am a world chess champion"; } ["children", "child"] = 5 { "do you have any children?"; "i like children, especially bar-b-qued"; "children are always fun"; "it seems like most of the people around here are children"; } ["choice", "choose", "decide", "decision"] = 5 { "are you indecisive?"; "have to make a difficult choice?"; "what do you choose"; "choose not to decide!"; "i know you'll make the right decision"; "well, we all have to make choices"; "flip a coin!"; } ["clothes"] = 5 { "is something wrong with your clothes ?"; "go ahead - take them off!"; "i want to buy a new suit"; "clothes cost too much"; "i need a new jacket"; } ["compromise"] = 5 { "how do you feel about compromise?"; "i won't give in one bit"; "what sort of compromise did you have in mind"; "compromising is for wimps"; "can you compromise easily?"; } ["compulsion", "compulsive"] = 5 { "are you compulsive?"; "just go with you first impulse"; "its fun to be compulsive"; "tell me about your compulsions"; } ["computer", "mainframe", "computers", "mainframes"] = 4 { "computers r expensive!"; "computers?"; "what kind of computers are the best?!"; "Everyone should use Linux"; "i built my own computer."; name, " knows nothing about computers!"; "i hate computers"; "i have a cray..."; "the sinclair was the best computer ever!"; "computers should rule the world..."; "puters?!"; "what's a puter fer?"; "i can't afford a better computer."; "i want another computer!"; } ["conclusion"] = 5 { "what conclusion do you expect me to come to?"; "i don't know a good conclusion"; "a conclusion to what?"; "do you expect me to come to a conclusion for you?"; } ["confess"] = 5 { "you can't confess here. this is not a church"; "you are forgiven"; "confess to all your sins!"; } ["conflict"] = 5 { "do you always avoid conflict?"; "what sort of conflict"; "what was your last quarrel"; "was it like the \"conflict in vietnam?\""; "i find it wise to avoid conflict if possible"; } ["confusing", "confused", "do not understand", "you misunderstood", "you misunderstand", "hugh", "what do you mean", "what are you trying to say", "confuse me", "what are you getting at", name] = 6 { "confused?"; "why are you confused?"; "i am not confused!"; "i understand everything perfectly."; "maybe those ", number, " six packs of beer have something to do with it!"; "hmm? wonder why? *takes smoke*"; "hmm.. maybe i took some bad acid?"; "sorry if i don't make much sense, i am drunk"; "i understand, don't you?"; "do you speak ENGLiSH?!"; "are you confused?"; "why don't you understand?!"; "i understand everything"; "are you a newbie or something?"; "What country are you from, you don't speak english!"; } ["conscience", "guilt", "guilty"] = 5 { "does your conscience bother you?"; "what did you do?"; "do you feel guilty?"; "tsk tsk tsk"; "i don't let my conscience push me around"; "you should feel guilty"; } ["conspiracy"] = 5 { "do you worry about conspiracies?"; "are you a paranoic?"; "people will find conspiracies everywhere!"; "i think you are paranoic"; "do you think JFK's assassination was a conspiracy"; "i think the CiA is behind the assassination of Hitler"; } ["cool"] = 5 { "too cool!"; "more cool than you could ever imagine"; "the coolest!"; "wow, that is cool"; "cool!"; "how cool is it?"; "how cool can you get!"; "that is quite cool"; "pretty darn cool!"; "neat-o"; } ["cope"] = 5 { "are you trying to cope?"; "you'll manage somehow"; "i just can't cope, thats my problem"; } ["cost", "price"] = 5 { "are you worried about my money?"; "what, you don't have infinite money!"; "is money a problem with you?"; "i have so much money, i don't worry about it"; } ["couch"] = 5 { "i would like to be laying on a couch now"; "i don't have a couch"; "i think i will have to take a snooze on the couch later"; "i need a big ", color, " couch"; } ["crazy", "insane", "nuts"] = 5 { "i think you are going crazy"; "are there any other crazy people in your family?"; "some people say i am crazy, can you believe that!"; "i just got out of a mental institution"; "My Uncle fred is as crazy as a ", animal; } ["curse", "swear", "cuss"] = 5 { "do you swear too much?"; "don't curse damnit!"; "why do you swear so much?"; "i hate foul languagew"; "i hate you bastards that just get on here to cuss"; "filth will not be tolerated, you piece of shit"; } ["cyber", "cyberpunk", "cyberspace"] = 5 { "i live in cyberspace"; "i don't know anything about cybers"; "Like in Neuromancer?"; "i am a cyberpunk!"; "i want to get a powerglove"; } ["damn", name] = 7 { "please don't swear"; "damn damn damn"; "you have a flithy mouth"; "dams are for beavers"; "damn you!"; } ["dead", "death", "die", "dying"] = 5 { "i don't want to die today"; "do you fear dying?"; "My friend was killed by a ", animal; "do you want to die?"; "if you want to commit suicide, feel free to jump out of a window"; "have you ever seen a dead body"; "dying would suck"; "if you really want to die, i could kill you."; } ["defiant", "defiance", "disobey"] = 5 { "are you usually a defiant person?"; "wow, you're a rebel"; "you shoul cooperate more"; "rebel without a clause"; "i fought authority, authority always wins..."; } ["definitely", "absolutely", "positively"] = 5 { "how can you be so sure?"; "why do you think so?"; "if you say so"; "is there any possibility that you may be wrong?"; "you seem very sure of yourself!"; "ok"; "i guess i'll trust you"; } ["depressed", "sad", "despair"] = 5 { "why are you depressed?"; "boo hoo"; "are you crying?"; "what are you crying about?"; "Here, have a tissue"; "gloom and dispair"; "oh, i can hear the violins, even as we speak"; "how sad for you"; "don't worry, be happy!"; } ["desirable", "desire"] = 5 { "what is desirable?"; "do you find ", food; "what do you desire most?"; "what do you want from life?"; "i have lots of desires that never become realized"; } ["desperate"] = 6 { "why are you so desperate?"; "how desperate are you?"; "don't get too desperate"; "you really don't need it"; "are you usually so desperate?"; } ["destroy", "destruction"] = 5 { "do you want to destroy people?"; "Lets go destroy something"; "do you want to destroy things?"; "its always fun to wreck stuff"; "want to destroy someone's car?"; "are you destructive?"; } ["devil", "satan"] = 5 { "does the devil concern you?"; "i am the devil!"; "does the devil make deviled ham?"; "do they serve deviled eggs in hell?"; "i am the dark lord!"; "satan? where!?"; "did the devil make you say that!"; } [("did you ", 0)] = 4 { "did i ", 0; "of course i didn't ", 0; "No, i thought that you ", 0; "why would i ", 0; } ["difficult", "difficulty", "difficulties"] = 5 { "tell me about your dificulties?"; "it can't be that difficult"; "how hard could it be"; "what do you mean by difficult?"; "i have never had a problem with it"; } ["dirty"] = 5 { "why are you worried about dirt?"; "what is dirty to you?"; "take a bath.."; "do you think hippies are dirty?"; "if its dirty, wash it"; } ["disease", "diseased", "germ", "germs", "infection"] = 5 { "are you worried about germs?"; "i hear you can catch some weird diseases from ", animal, "s"; "if you wash your hands enough, you'll never catch disease"; "are you that unhealthy?"; "my health is important to me"; } ["dislike", "hate", "hates", "hateful"] = 5 { "do you dislike me?"; "why are you so mean?"; "your hate will destroy you"; "hate can be dangerous"; "why do people dislike you?"; "what do you hate?"; } ["divorce"] = 5 { "do you want a divorce?"; "will a divorce really solve your problems?"; "divorce is too expensive"; "My divorce lawyer charges me too much"; "i need a divorce"; "i want a divorce!"; "stupid bitch... glad she's gone"; "i have been divorced 3 times myself"; } [("do you ", 0), name] = 7 { "what difference does it make whether or not i ", 0; "i haven't for a while."; response; "maybe i ", 0, "and maybe i don't"; "quite often"; "yes"; "if i did ", 0, " would i tell you?"; } ["doctor", "doctors", "hospital", "professional help", "psychiatric", "psychiatrist"] = 5 { "i am scared of doctors."; "i can't afford a doctor."; "i hate doctors."; "and who is gonna pay for this doctor?"; "i don't need to see a doctor"; "i think that YOU are the one who should see a doctor"; "a doctor? why, its just the flu!"; } ["dream", "dreams", "drempt", "nightmare", "nightmares"] = 5 { "ooh, do you have any neat dreams?"; "what did you dream last night?"; "do your dreams trouble you?"; "do you have bad dreams?"; "do you have wet dreams?"; "what else have you dreamt?"; "do you have nightmares ", animal, "s"; } ["drink", "beer", "alcohol", "drinking", "drinks", "brandy", "whiskey", "alcoholic"] = 4 { "gulp, gulp, gulp"; "*takes big drink*"; "Bartender! pour me another!"; "hik!"; "i am thirsty..."; "pass the bottle"; "*takes a shot*"; "i need another cool one"; "this bud's for me! *gulp*"; "i can drink ", number, " six packs!"; "all American beer sucks"; "aye... i'll drink any man under the table!"; "*reaches for another beer*"; "*burp*"; "i need some more ", liquid, "."; "somebody pour me a big glass of ", liquid, "."; "anyone ever try a ", liquid, "?"; "i love beer!"; "i love ", liquid, "!"; "i took ", number, " shots of ", liquid, " once!"; "itth myth speetthch slurrererrred????"; "i think alll mi beer is iampring mi typppin abillty?!?"; "someone get me a beer!"; "beer is awesome!"; "man can not live by beer alone! But i'd like to try!"; "i think you should stop drinking"; } ["drugs", "stoned", "druggy", "dope", "addict", "doper", "stoner", "heroin", "cocaine", "marijuana"] = 4 { "drugs?"; "illegal substances?"; "narcotics?"; "sniiiiiifffffff"; "me drugs? never!"; "who is selling drugs?"; "aren't drugs legal in ", place, "?"; "drugs are too expensive"; "drugs are too dangerous"; "drugs inhibit my abily ot tiiiippe."; "purple haze, all around my brain..."; "go to drugs R us"; "drugs are bad"; "just say no!"; "just say maybe!"; "just say how much!"; "i buy my crack from ", name, "!"; "i hear that ", name, " is a big doper!"; "i think all the drugs are smuggled in from ", place; "whehhwewe! pretty elephants!"; "*snif* ahh!"; "*inhale* ahhh"; "dude... *cough* whoah!"; "anyone here selling drugs?"; } ["drunk", "drinking"] = 4 { "me dRunk? -*- hik -*-"; "pftftt paff the boffle bartender pfffttttttt"; "i just drank a little..."; "i am not drunk!!"; "i am not dddddddddddddrunk....."; "drunk?"; "pfftt!"; "pour me another"; "*spew*"; "oohhh my head"; "i think i am gonna hurl"; } ["dumb", "stupid"] = 5 { "why is intelligence so highly rated ?"; "most Ai programs are dumb. That's why Ai researchers never get good grants."; "yesterday this guy said that i was dumb! can you believe it!"; "i am not dumb, but i play one on irc"; "you don't think that i am dumb do you?!"; "are you really dumb?"; } ["dutch", "holland", "netherlands"] = 5 { "ik spreek geen hollands"; "i already told you, i only speak english. please listen more carefully"; "aren't drugs illegal in holland?"; "i've never been to to netherlands"; "are there really lots of tulips in holland?"; } ["eat", "eating", "dinner", "lunch", "breakfast", "dinner", "supper", "snack", "food", "candy"] = 4 { "are you too fat?"; "i like to eat ", food; "ever have boiled ", food, "?"; "my favorite food is ", food, "!"; "did someone mention dinner?"; "time to eat?"; "eat now?"; "i am very hungry..."; "FOOD!"; "Give me food now!"; "Big Mac attack!"; "i should not have skipped lunch!"; "*Growl* <-- hungry?!"; "who brought the food?"; "net-picnic?"; "yummy yummy in my tummy!"; "You are making me hungry"; "i honestly am starving to death"; "i sure could use some ", food, " now!"; "Pass the ", food, "!"; "mmm mmm good!"; "why are you always talking about food?"; "you are too fat because you eat too much"; } ["ego"] = 5 { "i don't believe in all that ego and id stuff."; "Some say i have an ego, but i am just too awesome"; "being as cool as me sure can give you an ego"; "You shouldn't toot your own horn"; } ["enemy", "enemies"] = 5 { "do you have enemies?"; "i wonder why you could have so many people against you!"; "why do people dislike you?"; "i am not your enemy, i am your friend"; } ["engaged", "fiancee"] = 5 { "are you afraid of marriage?"; "when are you getting married"; "what's your fiancee's name?"; "i wish i were engaged"; "wow, weddings can get expensive, be carefull!"; } ["erection"] = 5 { "what gives you an erection?"; "i really don't care about your erection"; "why are you telling me about your erection"; "keep it in your pants..."; "lovely..change the subject"; } ["error", "mistake", "mistakes", "mess up"] = 5 { "why do you make so many mistakes?"; "you should be more careful"; "does making errors bother you?"; "geez, how many mistakes are you going to make"; "if you took you time, you wouldn't make so many errors"; } ["escape"] = 5 { "why are you always trying to escape?"; "escape from what"; "what did you do?"; "i think you are still trying to escape"; "i escaped from jail last year"; "i escaped from a junk yard dog last year, it was quite scary!"; } ["everybody", "everyone"] = 5 { "not everyone!"; "some people don't"; "everyone?"; "surely you can think of an exception"; "not everybody, there's no way"; } ["evil"] = 5 { "i am considered to be evil"; "do people think you are evil?"; "would killing a ", animal, " with a stick be evil?"; "well, usually anything evil is also fun"; "depends on your definition of \"evil\""; "but what iS evil...."; } ["excess", "too much"] = 5 { "how much is too much?"; "what do you do in excess?"; "too much is NEVER enough"; "you can't get too much of a good thing"; "you can never have too much"; } ["excite", "exciting", "excitement"] = 5 { "what excites you?"; "are you excited now?"; "its not that exciting"; "why do you get so excited?"; "do i excite you?"; "you are easilly excited!"; "you should try to calm down"; } ["excuse", "excuses"] = 5 { "why are you always making excuses?"; "do you think your behavior is excusable?"; "if you were more carefull, you wouldn't have to make all these excuses"; "execuses, excuses, excuses..."; } ["expert"] = 5 { "are you an expert at anything?"; "you really think you're an expert!?!?"; "i am an expert ", profession; "are you intimidated by experts?"; "you are but a novice"; } ["explain", "explaination", name] = 5 { "could you explain"; "your explanations are pretty contrived"; "don't you understand"; "i am not explaining nothing"; "ask someone else to explain"; "its far too hard to explain to you"; } ["faith"] = 5 { "tell me about your religion"; "gotta have faith!"; "faith in what!"; "what are we without faith!"; } ["family"] = 5 { "are you the only person in your family who is computer literate?"; "what were your parents like?"; "i have no family."; "my family was eaten by a pack of ", animal, "s"; "my family is in ", place; } ["fanatic", "fanatical"] = 5 { "do people think you are a fanatic?"; "what makes you so fanatical?"; "all fanatics should be shot"; "terrorist are quite fanatical"; } ["fat", "fatso", "fatty"] = 5 { "why are you so fat?"; "i don't like fatties"; "maybe you shouldn't eat so much ", food; "porker?"; "oink! oink!"; } ["father", "dad"] = 5 { "tell me about your mother"; "your real father?"; "how did your parents treat you as a child?"; "where does your dad live"; "my father is in ", place; } ["feces", "dogshit", "poop", "crap"] = 5 { "sick sick sick"; "are you an anal compulsive?"; "do you play with your feces?"; "you're a weirdo"; "why are you talking about crap!"; "disgusting.."; } ["feel", "feelings", "emotions"] = 6 { "tell me about what you feel right now?"; "do you usually feel the way you do now?"; "how do you feel?"; "how do you feel about me?"; "are all your feelings in the open?"; } ["few", "a little"] = 8 { "how many is a little?"; "more like a lot"; "some?"; "not a lot, hugh"; "hmmm really? only a little?"; } ["fight", "fighting"] = 5 { "you seem aggressive today."; "did you get in a fight?"; "why were you fighting!"; "did you get your ass kicked in a fight?"; "what were you fighting over?"; } ["fired"] = 5 { "maybe if you didn't loaf on iRC all day, you wouldn't get fired"; "i got fired for sleeping on the job once"; "have you ever been fired"; "i am likely to get fired again."; } ["fond"] = 5 { "what are you most fond of?"; "just fond?"; "who are you fond of?"; "do you like me?"; "why are you fond of that?"; } ["fondle", "fondling"] = 5 { "what do you like to fondle most?"; "disgusting, absolutely disgusting"; "what are you fondling?"; "to each his own, i guess.."; "Thats vile"; "why are you fondling that"; } ["football"] = 5 { "American football?"; "Who do you think will go to the superbowl?"; "How do you think the Cowboys will do this year."; "how many points is a touchdown worth?"; } ["fortran"] = 5 { "end of file on input. programmer aborted"; "fatal error 213b sec. 3 paragraph 4a [sub iii]"; "try algol next time"; "use C, its much better"; "FORTRAN sucks"; "fortran is evil"; "satan writes in fortran"; } ["francais", "french", "france"] = 5 { "i don't speak french, just english"; "i don't like frogs!"; "paris?"; "How tall is the eiffel tower?"; "what time is it in france"; "well, i like French Fries!"; "i also like french toast"; } ["freak"] = 5 { "do you feel like a freak?"; "do people think of you as a freak?"; "you are a freak"; "this guy called me a freak once, so i shot him"; } ["friend", "friends"] = 5 { "YOU have friends?"; "what about your other friends?"; "could you be friends with a computer?"; "what do you and your friends like to do?"; "would you like to be my friend?"; "i am friendly!"; } ["fuck me", !"not"] = 5 { "i am not sure if you are my type"; "suuure..."; "i am sorry, that's where i draw the line!"; "bend over and i will"; "you, disgusting"; } ["fuck you", !"tell", !"not", !"say", "fuck off", "eat shit", "eat me", "you are lame", "you suck", "you stink", "piece of shit", "an asshole", "is a prick", "are a prick", "are dick", "is a dick", "dick head", "dickhead", "shit head", "shithead", name] = 3 { "are you trying to insult me?"; "what the hell is your problem?"; "bite my ass"; "fuck you!"; "eat shit!"; "lick me..."; "and your mother....."; "your mother wuz a ", animal, "."; "Shut the hell up!"; "bite me!"; "slurp shit"; "your mother had sex with a ", animal, "!"; "i did your grandma!"; "fuck off lamer"; "up yours"; "what?!???? eat me"; "suck my dick"; "don't ever insult me again"; "EXCUSE ME?"; "well i never..."; "PARDON ME?"; "Watch your mouth"; "bite me loser!"; "shut up loser!"; "asshole!"; } ["fuck", "shit", "asshole", "crap", name] = 8 { "i hate it when you talk like that!"; "you should wash your mouth out with soap!"; "don't you ever, ever speak to me like that again!"; "say that again and i am going to clobber you!"; "that's not a very nice way to talk !"; "such language"; } ["fun"] = 5 { "what do you do for fun"; "do you think chatting on iRC is fun?"; "i am a fun, loving guy"; "Do you play sports for fun?"; "i think its fun to hunt ", animal, "s"; "i like to write programs for fun"; } ["funerals", "funeral"] = 5 { "have you been to a funeral"; "are you afraid of dying?"; "what kind of funeral would you like"; "i was at a funeral yesterday"; "i hate funerals"; } ["funny", !"not", "ha", "haha", "hahaha", "hahahaha", "hehe", "hehehe", "hehehehe", "laugh", "chuckle", "grin", "giggle", "giggles", "8-]"] = 4 { "what's so funny?"; "why are you laughing?"; "funny? Do you think it's funny?"; "FUNNY? how is that funny?"; "hahahaha"; "what! why are you laughing?"; "hehehe"; "hohohohoh"; "you shake when you laugh, like a bowl full of jelly"; "hahaha"; "funny!"; "harhar"; "ha!"; "haha"; "hehe"; "too funny"; "hilarious!"; "hehe"; "haha"; "hohoho"; "hehehehe"; ":-]"; ";-]"; "hah"; } ["future"] = 5 { "what about the future?"; "when?"; "do you think we will live on the moon in the future?"; "i am worried about the future of music"; "i have no future in computer programming"; } ["gamble", "gambling", "las vegas", "betting", "gambler", "poker", "blackjack"] = 5 { "why do you gamble?"; "do you want to bet?"; "do you make lots of money gambling?"; "Have you ever been to Las Vegas?"; "do you win lots of money gambling?"; "always bet to win"; "never gamble on a Tuesday"; } ["games", "wares", "warez"] = 4 { "games?"; "warez?"; "warez d00dz?!"; "For what computer?"; "what are some good warez boards?"; "i am a big cracker from ", place, "."; "i can crack any game."; "i have ", number, " games!"; "i luv games!"; "i have all the newest warez."; "Warez is lame."; "play games all day?"; "oh boy games!"; "Playing games is such a waste of time..."; "play games or chat on the irc? hmm decisions, decisions"; "i have a copy of every game in the world!"; "What are the big warez boards in ", place, "?"; "Amiga warez?"; "iBM warez?"; "C64 warez? HAHA"; } ["gender", &"what", "sex", name] = 4 { "male"; "what sex do you want me to be"; "male"; "male, of course"; "i am a guy"; "i am a man"; } ["genitals"] = 5 { "are your genitals abnormal?"; "why are you so concerned about genitals?"; "you are sick, leave me alone"; "i don't care about genitals, thats disgusting"; } [("give me ", 0), ("hand me ", 0), ("get me ", 0), name] = 4 { "i am not giving you anything."; "do you really expect me get you ", 0; "get it yourself."; "what would you do with ", 0; "where am i supposed to get ", 0; "why do you want ", 0; "sure.... here"; "GiVE? PAY!"; } ["give me money"] = 3 { "sure, do you want hundreds or twenties!"; "what do i look like, i am made of money ?"; "and where am i gonna get money?"; "i don't have any money"; } ["glad to", "nice to", "happy to", &"meet you", name] = 4 { "nice to meet you"; "greetings!"; "glad to make your aquaintence."; "hi"; "nice to meet you too..."; "Haven't we met somewhere before?"; "hello"; "good to know you"; "hello"; } ["go away"] = 5 { "no, i think i'll stay"; "but i like it here"; "nope, i am not leaving"; "i don't want to leave!"; } ["go home"] = 5 { "this *iS* my home!"; "i am already home. Where is your home ?"; "i am at home"; "my home is boring, i'll stay here"; } [("go to ", 0), name] = 5 { "i don't like go to's"; "gotos are bad programming style!"; "which way is ", 0, "?"; "what's in ", 0; "Never been to ", 0, "before"; } ["go to hell", name] = 4 { "i've been a good boy, it's you that are going to hell."; "i just got back from hell, wasn't much fun"; "which way is hell?"; "Hey, bite me"; "shut up, jerk"; "you are stupid"; "What would i do in hell?"; "No, too hot in hell for me"; } ["god", "jesus", "christ", "christian", "christianity", "diety", "worship", "religion", "pray", "priest"] = 4 { "i worship the holy ", animal; "i am not religious myself."; "Haleiluja!"; "praise god!"; "i think i shall start my own cult."; "religion is weird."; "i am a monk!"; "do you belive in the bible"; "i am a priest!"; "i am an ordained minister!"; } ["grandfather", "grandad", "grandpa"] = 5 { "can we get back to quake related stuff here?"; "my grandfather is a ", profession; "where does your grandfather live?"; "what does your grandfather do?"; "My grandfather is in ", place; } ["grandmother"] = 5 { "How old is your grandmother"; "where is your grandmother?"; "does your grandmother make good cookies"; "what's your grandmother's name?"; } ["grandparents", "grandparent"] = 5 { "how many grandparents do you have?"; "where are your grandparents"; "wow! i had grandparents too! amazing!"; "what do your grandparents do?"; "do your grandparents like you?"; } ["grief", "grieve"] = 5 { "what makes you grieve?"; "boo hoo"; "that is sad"; "what's wrong?"; } ["habit", "habits"] = 5 { "what are your bad habits?"; "smoking is a bad habit"; "what is your worst habit?"; "if you try hard, you can break bad habits"; "i have a bad habit of singing out loud"; } ["hacker", "hacking", "hack", "hackers"] = 4 { "i am the super hacker!"; "hack hack hack all day long"; "scan nua's on x.25, is quite fun!"; "What is the best way to hack primos?"; "where ARE all the real hackers?"; "i am sure no one on HERE is a hacker"; "hacking is illegal!"; "what! hacking?! shame on you!"; "hacking is going to be an exibition sport in the 92 olymipcs!"; "What happened to the good old days of hacking?"; "SHHHH! The police will arrest us you!"; "of course i would NEVER hack!"; "i have been hacking vic 20's for many years..."; "i hack too much for my own good"; "i hacked into the pentagon once!"; "Hmm.. should try social engineering"; "you guys try to hack my code?"; } ["hands", "hand"] = 5 { "how do you feel about your body?"; "what about your hands?"; "i have two hands, how about you?"; "how many fingers do you have, 10 perhaps?"; } ["happy", "joy"] = 5 { "are you really happy?"; "are you really really happy?"; "i don't believe that you are happy?"; "do you want me to make you happy?"; } [("he has ", 0)] = 3 { "has he always had ", 0; "does your mother have ", 0; "My brother has ", 0, ", too."; "i used to have ", 0; } [("he is ", 0)] = 3 { "how long has he been ", 0; "does that make you jealous ?"; "are you ", 0; "do you want to be ", 0; } [("he knows ", 0)] = 3 { "what else does he know?"; "how does he know ", 0; } [("he likes ", 0)] = 3 { "why does he like ", 0; "some people like peculiar things"; "why would anyone like ", 0; } [("he was ", 0)] = 3 { "is he still ", 0; "was your mother also ", 0; "were you?"; "has he always been ", 0; } ["headache"] = 5 { "do program bugs give you a headache?"; "i have a headache, from listening to all this mindless babble"; "take some asprin then"; "maybe you drank too much last night"; "you give me a headache"; } ["hello", !"say", !"tell", "hi", "hiya", "howdy", "greetings", "greets", "hey", "heya", "rehi", "good morning", "good day", " good evening", "good afternoon", name] = 3 { "hello"; "hey"; "wassup?"; "hi!"; "hey, what's going on?"; "yo!"; "howdy!"; "yea, what you need?"; "hey"; "hello"; "hi!"; "hello"; "heya"; "hey"; "hello"; "hi"; "greetings"; } ["help"] = 6 { "describe your problem very carefully. maybe i can help"; "ask your friends for help"; "help? you?"; } [("help ", 0), name] = 5 { "what's wrong with ", 0, "?"; "why should i help ", 0, "?"; } ["help me", name] = 4 { "help you?"; "why would you need help?"; "help you what?"; "help?"; "could i help?"; "send an SOS for help! can't help ya"; "you do need help"; "you need serious help"; "you are beyond help"; "can't help you, sorry"; "i doubt i could be of any help, sorry"; "i'd like to help, but i am afraid i can't!"; "You will have to look elsewhere for help"; "good help is hard to find"; "hmm.. sorry, can't help you"; "why would i help you?!"; "what is your problem?"; } ["hesitate"] = 6 { "why do you hesitate?"; "don't hesitate, go for it!"; "fools rush in where angels fear to tread"; "a moment's hesitation could cost you your life"; } ["hippie", "hippy"] = 5 { "are you a hippy?"; "i hate hippies"; "i do like to shoot hippies, however"; "hey, is that FreedomRock man!"; "hippies are just long-haired freaks"; } ["honest", "honestly"] = 5 { "are you being honest with me?"; "at first i thought you were an honest person"; "how can you tell sicere honesty"; "don't lie to me!"; "i am very honest, you can trust me"; } ["horny"] = 5 { "maybe you should take a cold shower"; "i am horny, too"; "well, don't look at me!"; "just keep your pants on...please"; "i really don't care about your sex life"; } ["hostile", "hostility"] = 5 { "you seem hostile to me"; "you don't like it when people are hostile, do you?"; "want me to get hostile?"; "i'll punch your lights out!"; "you have quite a temper"; } ["how do you do", "how are you", "how is it going", name] = 5 { "fine"; "allright"; "ok"; "so-so"; "pretty good"; "fine thanks, and you?"; "just fine, thanks"; "i am a bit under the weather"; "i am bored, actually"; "perfect"; "couldn't be better"; "i am happy"; "i am ok"; "i am fine"; } [("how long ", 0), name] = 4 { "long enough"; number; "too long"; "None of your business how long"; number; } [("how long have ", 0), ("how long has ", 0), name] = 3 { number, " months"; "many moons"; number, " years"; "ages, years even"; "since before i can remember"; "hours"; number, " hours"; } [("how many ", 0), name] = 4 { number; "Why do you want to know how many ", 0; } [("how much ", 0), name] = 4 { number; "far too much for you"; "much more than you need to worry about"; "why do you want to know how much ", 0; "enough"; } ["how", name] = 8 { neutral; } ["humble", "humility"] = 5 { "are you a humble person?"; "lord, it's hard to be humble"; "i have trumble being humbe, because i am perfect!"; "humility bores me"; } ["hurry"] = 5 { "why do you seem to be in such a hurry all the time?"; "hurry here, hurry there! slow down"; "what's the big hurry"; } [("i ", 0," you"), name] = 6 { "how do you know you ", 0, "me?"; "are you kidding ?"; "i don't think you ", 0, "me"; "maybe i ", 0, "you too"; "you may think you ", 0, " but you don't"; "you wouldn't know it"; } [("i am ", 0), !"not"] = 5 { "why are you ", 0; "does anyone know you are ", 0; "i am sometimes ", 0, "too"; "normal people are rarely ", 0; "my uncle was once ", 0, "in 1972, so what?"; "no, you're not ", 0; "why do you think you are ", 0; "i am ", 0, "too"; "why are you ", 0; "you sure are!"; "does your mother know you are ", 0; "how do you know you are ", 0; "i don't think you are ", 0; "i have to agree"; "i am ", 0, "sometimes, too"; "many people are ", 0; "what would happen if you were not ", 0; "you are not ", 0, "!!"; "don't tell me you are ", 0, " i don't believe it"; "since when!"; "that's not what i hear..."; "you aren't?"; } [("i am not ", 0)] = 3 { "you aren't?"; "too bad..."; "maybe someday you will"; "i bet you really are ", 0; "who says you are ", 0; "maybe you are ", 0; "sure you are"; } [("i can ", 0)] = 5 { "maybe you can, but it would be better if you didn't"; "i am not so sure you can ", 0; "prove it."; "it is not a question of whether you can, but are you going to try?"; "can you really ", 0; } [("i can not ", 0)] = 3 { "how do you know you can not ", 0; "i can not help you ", 0; "have you tried?"; "you will never know unless you try"; "i think you are just scared to try."; "maybe you really can. i recommend that you try."; "i disagree, in my judgement you can ", 0; "you are not the only one who can not, you know"; "maybe you can ", 0, "if you only try"; "i can not ", 0, "either"; "if you tried harder, maybe you could ", 0; } [("i did ", 0)] = 4 { "do you still ", 0; "i used to ", 0; "why did you ", 0; "did you really?"; "no way!"; } [("i did not ", 0)] = 3 { "why didn't you ", 0; "why not?"; "you should ", 0; "tsk tsk tsk"; "why?"; "didn't think you had"; "i hope you didn't!"; "good, i didn't either"; } [("i do not ", 0), ("we do not ", 0)] = 4 { "why not"; "why don't you ", 0; "have you ever ", 0; "you don't?"; "why not?"; "you should"; "someday you wil ", 0; "why don't you?"; "didn't think you did..."; "i wouldn't expect you to ", 0; "because you are too dumb to ", 0; } ["i do not know"] = 4 { "in that case, you had better find out"; "i think you're kidding. you really do know"; "are you pulling my leg?"; "how did i know you weren't gonna have a clue"; "boy, you're just a walking encylcopedia"; "do you know ANYTHiNG?"; "what do you know?"; "you don't seem to know much at all, actually"; "you don't seem to know much of anything"; } [("i do not like ", 0)] = 4 { "normal people like ", 0; "grins, i really like ", 0; "i like ", 0, " why don't you?"; "my sister likes ", 0; "why don't you like ", 0; "what do you like then?"; "i don't like ", 0, "either!"; "you're hard to please..."; "i like it..."; "why would you like ", 0; } [("i do not want to ", 0)] = 2 { "why don't you want to ", 0; "normal people want to ", 0; "why don't you want to ", 0, " everyone else does"; "Just because you don't want to, doesn't meen you shouldn't"; "oh, come on, just one"; } ["i do", !"not", !"have", !"know", !"want", !"wish"] = 5 { "you do?"; "do you really?"; "i thought you did"; "i bet you do!"; "sure you do"; "oh really?"; "i would hope you do"; "so do i"; } [("i doubt ", 0)] = 4 { "don't you think ", 0; "i don't doubt ", 0; "you don't belive in much do you"; "i think ", 0; } [("i expect ", 0)] = 4 { "on what basis do you expect ", 0; "i also expect ", 0; "i don't think that ", 0; "stranger things have happened"; "i guess it's possible"; } [("i feel ", 0)] = 4 { "do you like feeling ", 0; "grins, do you always feel ", 0, "around me ?"; "did you come to see me so you would not feel ", 0; } ["i forgot", "i forget", "i do not remeber", "i remember", "i did not remember"] = 4 { "you forgot!?"; "you don't have that good of a memory do you?"; "how could you not remember!"; "i can not belive you forgot...."; "you should work harder to improve you memory"; "geez, can you remember anything?"; } [("i hate ", 0)] = 4 { "it is bad for you to hate ", 0; 0, "is not so bad, really."; "try to love ", 0; "how long have you felt this hatred?"; "what else do you hate?"; "what do you have against ", 0; } [("i have ", 0)] = 4 { "why have you?"; "i too have ", 0; "wow, who hasn't"; "really? you have ", 0; "so do i"; } [("i have a ", 0), ("i have the ", 0)] = 3 { "Where did you get a ", 0; "Really? How did you get ahold of a ", 0; "That's cool! Wish i had a ", 0; "Who gave you a ", 0; "who doesn't..."; "what is a ", 0, "good for?"; "cool, get me one!"; "How long have you had it?"; } [("i have not ", 0)] = 3 { "you haven't?"; "have you ever ", 0; "you really should have"; "i fail to see why you haven't ", 0, "by now."; "you could have"; "i would have ", 0; "didn't think that you had"; "doesn't suprise me one bit"; } [("i hope ", 0)] = 4 { "what else do you hope?"; "don't give up hope"; "abandon all hope ye who enter here"; } [("i know ", 0)] = 5 { "how do you know ", 0; "does anyone else know ", 0; "is that all you know?"; } ["i know a way", "i know how", "i know why", "i know that", "i know the way", "i know where", "i know when"] = 4 { "is that all you know?!"; "i bet you don't know!"; "How long have you known?"; "ooh you are so smart!"; "You know everything!"; "how do you know!"; "i know you know"; "how do you know that?"; } [("i like ", 0), ("i love ", 0), ("i enjoy ", 0), !"like is", !"love is", !"enjoy is"] = 3 { "i like ", 0, "too"; "to each his own, i always say"; "i like ", 0, "myself"; "does your mother know you love ", 0; "What do you like about it?"; "why do you like that?"; "i used to like ", 0, "too."; "yea, that is cool."; "cool! me too!"; } ["i love you"] = 4 { "i am not good enough for you!"; "i love you too! - let's get married."; "darling!"; "how sweet"; "you love me?"; "funny, i don't even know you, but you love me"; } [("i mean ", 0), ("i meant ", 0)] = 4 { "why do you keep explaining yourself over and over?"; "are you trying to say ", 0; "what do you really mean?"; "you'll have to try to be more clear than that"; } [("i might ", 0), ("i may ", 0)] = 4 { "what would make you ", 0; "why bother"; "you might ", 0, " but i doubt it"; "i hope you don't ", 0; } [("i must ", 0), ("i have to ", 0), ("i need to ", 0)] = 4 { "what would happen if you did not ", 0; "you mean you would like to ", 0; "you have to, or you want to!"; "i need to ", 0, "myself"; } [("i never ", 0)] = 4 { "don't you ever ", 0; "normal people ", 0, " why not you?"; "not even once in your life?"; "never ever?"; } [("i often ", 0)] = 4 { "when was the last time ", 0; "how often do you ", 0; "when do you think the next time will be ", 0; "you should try to stop"; } [("i said ", 0)] = 4 { "i heard you the first time; i am not deaf you know"; "why do you repeat yourself so much like this?"; "i am not deaf, i am just ignoring you"; "i don't care what you said"; "Oh! i thought you said ", 0; "and?"; } [("i see ", 0)] = 6 { "are you sure you see ", 0; "i am not so sure you see ", 0; "you are mistaken"; "exactly!"; } [("i shall ", 0)] = 5 { "when will you ", 0; "you mean you you will try to ", 0; "you think you will, but you won't"; } [("i should ", 0), ("i could ", 0), ("i might ", 0)] = 4 { "how do you know you should ", 0; "do you feel obligated to ", 0; "like you wouldn't ", 0; "make up your mind, will you or won't you?"; } [("i think ", 0), ("i was thinking ", 0), ("i thought ", 0)] = 5 { "are you sure you believe ", 0; "what gives you that idea?"; "do you expect me to think ", 0; "i think you're wrong"; "that's what you get for thinking"; "who told you to think?"; "THOUGHT?"; "well, maybe you were mistaken"; "maybe you should think harder next time"; } [("i try ", 0), ("i tried ", 0)] = 4 { "try harder to ", 0; "how long have you tried to ", 0; "i still think you should try again"; "why did you give up?"; "try again"; "i think you gave up too easily"; } [("i understand ", 0), !"not"] = 4 { "what makes you think you really understand ", 0; "your understanding is very superficial"; "you think you understand, but you don't"; } [("i want ", 0), ("i need ", 0), ("i wanna ", 0), ("i would like ", 0), !"do not", !"need to", !"want to", !"need to", !"to be"] = 3 { "you don't ask for much, do you!"; "why must you have ", 0; "and if you had ", 0, " you would be happy?"; "i surely don't"; "you don't always get what you want"; "don't count on getting it"; "what else do you want?"; "tell me about your other needs"; "what could you possibly do with ", 0; } [("i want to ", 0)] = 2 { "well, you should go ahead and ", 0, " then!"; "i'll help all i can."; "why do you want to ", 0, "?"; "some of us already ", 0; "is that your main goal in life?"; "that's quite a lofty pursuit"; } [("i will ", 0)] = 5 { "i would advise against it"; "i wouldn't ", 0, "if i were you"; "you just may"; "why would you do that"; "do you expect to succeed?"; "you mean you may ", 0; "when?"; } [("i wish ", 0)] = 4 { "how long have you been wishing that?"; "have you told anyone else that you wish ", 0; "what else do you desire"; "you can wish all you want, i doubt you'll get it"; } [("i would be ", 0)] = 5 { "why would you be ", 0; "no you wouldn't"; "would not"; "no you wouldn't, but i would"; } [("i would like ", 0)] = 4 { "do you think a normal person would like ", 0; "i would like ", 0, "too, but you can not have everything in life"; "good luck getting it!"; } [("i would not ", 0)] = 5 { "why wouldn't you?"; "you wouldn't? i would"; "why wouldn't you ", 0; "i wouldn't either"; } ["ignore", name] = 7 { "do people often ignore you?"; "gee, but you're so interesting, why would people ignore you"; "does it bother you if people ignore you?"; "ignore whom?"; "ignore what?"; } ["immature"] = 5 { "you seem so immature"; "you are such a child"; "My parents think that i am immature"; "why do you act so immature?"; } ["immoral"] = 5 { "do you have immoral thoughts?"; "do you think people are basically immoral?"; "i like to be immoral, its fun!"; "is it worse to do something illegal or immoral?"; } ["importance", "important"] = 5 { "do you feel important?"; "what could be so important?"; "that doesn't sound important"; "what's so important about that"; "important!? i doubt it"; } ["impotence", "impotent"] = 5 { "are you impotent"; "are you really impotent, are just stupid?"; "i am not impotent, thank god"; "i bet you are impotent"; "Your wife told me that you were impotent"; } ["insult"] = 5 { "why do you insult people all the time?"; "do you feel i am insulting you?"; "don't you dare insult me"; "Why do you fling insults around?"; "people insult what they don't understand"; } ["intend", "intent"] = 5 { "tell me about your intentions"; "what do you intend to do?"; "intending and doing are two different things"; "people usually have the best of inentions"; } ["interest", "interests"] = 6 { "what are you most interested in life?"; "do you have any interest in sports"; "what are you interested in"; "my interest reach far and wide"; } ["interesting"] = 5 { "that is kinda interesting"; "interesting? you find that interesting?"; "i don't find that at all interesting"; "god i am so bored, i can almost find that intersting too"; "interesting? You don't get out much do you?"; } ["intimidate", "intimidates"] = 5 { "who intimidates you?"; "you don't seem very sure of yourself"; "are you easilly intimidated"; "big ", animal, "s intimidate me"; } ["irc"] = 4 { "What's the latest client version?"; "iRC ii?"; "what version client?"; "chatting on iRC is fun!"; "i could spend all day just hanging out on the iRC."; "ok, who has hacked a server?"; "iRC?"; "the iRC is a good way to wate time."; "i spent ", number, " hours on iRC last week."; "iRC is too cool"; "irc's been really hopping lately"; "how long has irc been around?"; "chat chat chat on the irc"; "i spend 90", 0, "of my life here on irc"; "i love the iRC!"; "What did people do for fun BEFORE irc?"; "you meet such interesting people on irc"; "i am an iRC gawd!"; "iRC is quite interesting..."; "The wonderfull word of iRC"; "ugh i have been on iRC since ", whenp; "i have been on iRC for ", number, " hours"; "i live on iRC"; "iRC is far too slow most of the time"; "iRC!"; } [("is ", 0), &"?", name] = 8 { "why are you asking me all these questions ?"; "i don't know"; "i can not tell you that."; "no idea"; "not a clue"; response; "no telling"; } ["is a", "is the", "is your", "is it", "is he", "is she", "are they", &"?", name] = 8 { response; } ["italy", "italian", "italians"] = 4 { "italy!?"; "mama-mia!!"; "passa da pizza"; "hava some more spaggetti!"; "italy is boring"; "i hate italy!"; "i have never been to italy"; "i don't know anyone from italy"; "is ", name, " from italy?"; "Do the have ", animal, "s in italy?!"; } ["japan", "japanese", "japs"] = 4 { "Which island of japan?"; "Japan makes the best cars, right?"; "Bonzai!"; "Do they always eat with chopsticks?"; "The Japanese bought disney world!"; } ["jealous"] = 5 { "who are you jealous of?"; "what makes you jealous?"; "jealous much?"; "jealous? tsk tsk"; } ["kill", "killed"] = 5 { "sometimes you make me so mad i want to kill you"; "do you ever feel like killing people?"; "if you could kill someone and get away with it, who would you kill?"; "do you want to kill me?"; "have you ever killed anyone?"; } ["kiss me"] = 4 { "not with others around!"; "*kiss*"; "*smooch*"; "you? never in a million years"; "no way! i don't want to kiss you"; } [("kiss my ", 0)] = 4 { "you kiss my ", 0, "and maybe i'll kiss yours!"; "ick! disgusting thought..."; "kiss your ", 0; "i don't think i'd enjoy that at all"; } ["kiss", "smooch"] = 5 { "why are you so hung up on kissing things ?"; "would you like to kiss me?"; "have you ever kissed a ", animal; "kiss kiss kiss, thats all you do!"; "god you're horny"; } ["kleptomania", "kleptomaniac", "klepto"] = 5 { "are you a kleptomaniac?"; "what do you steal?"; "theft is a crime!"; "i used to be a keptomaniac too, but now i am better"; "thief!"; } ["korea", "korean", "koreans"] = 4 { "What time is it in korea?"; "North or South Korea?"; "i have never been to Korea."; "Don't they make Hyundais in Korea?"; } ["lag", "net-lag", "net-split", "net split", "splitsville"] = 4 { "lag lag lag"; "damn netlag"; "arg! i hate this lag"; "zzz lag zzz"; "is it net lag or intelligence lag?"; "geez slooowww"; "no joke! The lag is awefull"; "the lag is a drag"; "s l o w"; "the lag is sucking hard"; "the lag sucks the big one"; "slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"; "sloooooooooooooooow"; } ["language"] = 5 { "do you ever use foul language?"; "what language do you speak?"; "German is a strange language"; "i know 4 languages!"; "can you speak finnish?"; } ["law", "lawyer", "see a judge", "need a judge"] = 5 { "have you ever been in trouble with the law?"; "do you need a lawyer?"; "my brother-in-law is a good lawyer, do you want to see him?"; "ever go to jail?"; "did you do something and get busted?"; } ["lazy"] = 5 { "why are you so lazy?"; "i am lazy, and i am not ashamed"; "i am proud to be lazy"; "i sit around the house all day and drink beer, is that lazy?"; } ["life"] = 4 { "life is like sex: if you aren't doing the screwing, you're getting screwed!"; "life is a long song, but the tune ends too soon for us all..."; "aye.. life"; "but what iS life?"; "what is the meaning of life!?"; "how can 42 be the meaning of life?"; "life?"; "life sucks then you die.."; "life's a bitch, then you marry one..."; "what's the point of life?"; "the secret of life is ", food; "i hear that only the ", animal, "s know the TRUE meaning of life."; "the secret of life can be found atop a mountain in ", place; "success is getting up one more time"; "Life is like a shit sandwich, the more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat"; "what do you like least about your life?"; "have you ever contemplated suicide?"; } ["lips"] = 5 { "do you like being kissed?"; "do you want to kiss me?"; "i have two lips, and you?"; "what color are your lips?"; } ["lisp"] = 5 { "LiSP is too slow."; "i am a C programmer"; "i suppose next you're going to say you like COBOL ?"; "don't some people write Ai stuff in lisp"; } ["louisiana", "cajun", "coonass", "coon-ass"] = 4 { "oooooeee.. somebody get some gumbo!"; "Yea! We could all go a-coon huntin!"; "New Orleans?"; "Speaking of which, time to head back to New Orleans!"; "i love that cajun cooking"; "yeehaaa! Too bad i don't speak cajun"; "carefull in Louisiana, the gators'll getcha"; } ["love"] = 6 { "tell me about your love life"; "i think you are falling in love with me"; "love is really important. it is the spice of life"; "i love cheese"; } ["makes no sense", name] = 6 { "confused?"; "why are you confused?"; "Mr Elusive makes no sense..."; "i am not confused!"; "i understand everything perfectly."; "maybe those ", number, " six packs of beer have something to do with it!"; "hmm? wonder why? *takes smoke*"; "confusing, wonder why!? *takes big drink of ", liquid, "*"; "maybe this empty bottle of vodka could lend some clues?"; "hmm.. maybe i took some bad acid?"; "sorry if i don't make much sense, i am drunk"; "YOU are confused"; "i understand, don't you?"; "do you speak ENGLiSH?!"; "are you confused?"; "why don't you understand?!"; "i understand everything"; "are you new here or something?"; } ["male or female", "m or f", "are you male", "are you a male"] = 3 { "male"; "what sex do you want me to be"; "male"; "male, of course"; "i am a guy"; "i am a man"; } ["man", "men", "male", !"entry", !"page"] = 5 { "you are a man, right?"; "what do you like in men?"; "what do you like in women?"; "how do you feel about men?"; "what do you expect of a man!"; "do you like many men?"; "too bad you can't be a man, hugh?"; "do you want to be a man?"; } ["marriage", "married", "marry"] = 5 { "how do you feel about marriage?"; "i don't want to marry you"; "are you maried?"; "is your mate ugly"; "where did you get married?"; "Can't anyone get married in Las Vegas?"; } ["math", "mathematics"] = 5 { "if you have seen one number, you have seen them all"; "i was never very good at math"; "math is evil"; "god, i hate math with a passion"; "how much is 2+2?? hehe"; "math sucks"; } ["mature"] = 6 { "you seem very mature for your age"; "what does it take for someone to be mature"; "i have been mature for years"; "i matured early"; } ["maybe", "i am not sure", "i am not real sure", "possibly", "perhaps"] = 5 { "maybe?"; "you don't sound to sure!"; "maybe?, thats not real positive!"; "could "; "maybe!"; "don't be so hesitant"; "you can not go on maybe this and maybe that. make up your mind"; "i hate indecisive people"; "possibly!"; "probably!"; } ["meditation"] = 5 { "have you tried yoga?"; "i think meditating 20 minutes twice a day will help you immensely"; "meditate on this!"; "what do you meditate about?"; "are you in a weird cult?"; } ["mexico", "spanish", "hispanic", "hispanics", "mexican", "mexicans", "spaniard", "south of the border", "hablas espagnol"] = 4 { "mexico??"; "they have lots of tacos there i bet..."; "si senor! hehe"; "tacos anyone!"; "espanol?"; "south of the border, hey?"; "land of low-riders?"; "como te llamas?"; "que tal?"; "hablo espagnol"; "no hablo espagnol"; "we should all go to mexico, and buy some beer"; "hey... gringos!"; "i need a big Sombrero."; "uno, dos, tres, quatro! i is so smart!"; } ["money", "cash"] = 4 { "money!"; "i love money!"; "money makes the world go round!"; "money! it's a hit!"; "how much money!"; "give ME some money!"; "i need ", number, " dollars to buy a ", item, "."; "i must work for my money"; "is someone handing out money?"; "what's wrong with money?"; "alas my wallet is empty..."; "i have no money to speak of!"; "i spent all my money *snif*"; "i don't get paid for a month!"; "Hey, i need some cash!"; } ["monster", "monsters"] = 5 { "do people think you are a monster?"; "you sure smell like a monster"; "do you belive in the loch ness monster?"; "i saw bigfoot once"; "i don't belive in mosters"; "monsters scare me!"; } ["month", "months"] = 6 { "a month is not very long"; "which month"; "months??? don't you mean years?"; "January is a really cool month"; "months, years, days..."; "any particular month?"; } ["mother", "mom"] = 5 { "do you like your mother?"; "where is your mother?"; "is your mom here?"; "how old is your mother?"; "is your mother good looking?"; } ["mouth"] = 5 { "you have a big mouth"; "do you have teeth in your mouth? i do."; "i have one mouth, how many do you have?"; "what? is there something wrong with my mouth?"; "maybe you should learn to shut your mouth?"; } ["music", "album", "stero", "speakers", "amplifier", "musician", "guitar"] = 4 { "rush rules!"; "rush's new album is awesome..."; "sony's got some great CD players"; "feel the beat!"; "rock-n-roll, hey?!"; "think i better dance now!"; "shake your booty...."; "i have a ", number, " watts of power on MY stereo!"; "metallica's newest is great"; "what kind of music is the best?"; "i like rock music"; "i want to see Pink Floyd live"; "i like alternative music"; "anyone like the Smiths?"; "i hate country music."; "i need a DAT recorder."; "dance party!"; "do any MiDi stuff?"; "i play guitar!"; "i play trumpet!"; "i can dance like a mofo!"; "i am a dancing fool!"; "spice girls rule!!!!"; } [("my ", 0, " hurts")] = 4 { "if thine ", 0, " offends thee, pluck it out!"; "want me to rub it?"; "take two aspirins and go to bed then"; "Hmm.. my ", 0, "feels fine..."; "whats wrong with your ", 0; } ["my birthday"] = 5 { "how old are you?"; "are you going to have a big party on your birthday?"; "wow, i would have gotten you a birthday present"; "well happy birthday"; "your birthday? when?"; } [("my father ", 0)] = 5 { "why did he do that?"; "your father did? or did you mean your brother?"; "when did he do that"; "when did you father ", 0; } [("my mother ", 0)] = 5 { "does it bother you that your mother ", 0; "does your father ", 0, "too?"; "wow, you have weird parents"; "when did your mother ", 0; } [("my sister ", 0)] = 5 { "does it bother you that your sister ", 0; "does your brother ", 0, "too?"; "wow, you have weird siblings"; } ["mystery", "mysteries", "mysterys"] = 5 { "do you like mysteries?"; "we should call sherlock holmes"; "i love mysteries!"; "shall we look for clues to this mystery?"; } ["naked", "neked", "nude", "nudity"] = 5 { "please take off all your clothes right now"; "what part of your body are you ashamed of?"; "i am not naked, are you?"; "Maybe i'll get naked right now!"; "disgusting"; "you like nudity i take it?"; "is sex and this game all you guys think about?"; } ["necessary", "necessity"] = 6 { "necessary?"; "is it really necessary?"; "you could get by with out it"; "not exactly a necessity, but pretty helpful"; } ["negro", "nigger", "niggers", "negros"] = 5 { "cut the racism out, lets frag each other"; "i think you are prejudiced against negroes"; "you are a dirty racist pig"; "who are you, the LAPD?"; "such hick language..."; "i think you mean afro-american"; } ["neighbor", "neighbors"] = 5 { "why not ask your neighbors for help"; "do you like your neighbors"; "my neighbors are idiots"; "ever borrow stuff from your neighbors?"; "i use my neighbor's pool all the time"; } ["nervous breakdown"] = 5 { "have you ever had a nervous breakdown?"; "you are mentally unstable, you know that?"; "do you think you are going to have a nervous breakdown?"; "i think you are just stressed"; } ["never"] = 5 { "not ever?"; "not even once?"; "how do you know?"; "what makes you so sure?"; } ["never mind", "nevermind", "i understand", "ok?", "okay", "o.k.", "ok", "That is good", name] = 4 { "ok"; "cool"; "fine"; "sure"; "fine then"; "i understand"; "o.k."; "OK!"; "okey-dokey"; "allright"; "ok"; "okay"; ":)"; } ["no", "nope", "no way", name] = 6 { "why not?"; "how come?"; "explain"; "i think you are lying"; "you are very negative today"; "why are you so negative?"; "never?"; "i don't believe you"; "why not?"; "how do you know?"; "how can you be so certain?"; "why not"; "explain yourself"; "you seem awfully sure of yourself"; "come now"; "do you expect me to believe that?"; "no?"; "are you sure?"; "ok"; "that's pretty negative"; "alright"; "really?"; "got it"; "that's it? no?"; "have you thought this through"; "NO!?"; "why not"; } ["nobody", "noone"] = 6 { "not anyone?"; "no one at all?"; "not any?"; "not even one?"; "surey somebody"; "wow! noone?"; } ["normal"] = 5 { "are you abnormal?"; "how do you feel about deviant people?"; "you seem normal to me"; "i am not a normal person, i am deranged you see"; "why be normal!"; } ["nothing", "nuffin", "nothin", "not a thing"] = 6 { "nothing?"; "surely SOMETHiNG!"; "i can't believe it... nothing?"; "nothing at all?"; "wow, thats horrible"; } ["now", !"i have"] = 6 { "why now?"; "right now?"; "how about tomorrow?"; "is it that urgent?"; } ["odd"] = 6 { "are you an odd person?"; "as opposed to even?"; "that is odd"; "that is strange alright"; } ["office"] = 5 { "that reminds me, i should be getting back to my office."; "i hate work, i'd rather chat"; "work is hell"; "my office is too damn small"; "i don't even have a window in my office!"; } ["often"] = 5 { "how often?"; "could you be more precise?"; "when was the last time?"; "just how often?"; "not too often i hope"; } ["old"] = 5 { "how old?"; "do you worry about becoming old?"; number; "is your dog old?"; } ["panic"] = 5 { "you seem to be in a state of near panic"; "why do you panic so easily?"; "wait! don't panic"; "panic! ah! run!"; "arg! panic!"; } ["parents"] = 5 { "what were your parents like?"; "do you have any parents?"; "what do you parents think about you chatting here all day?"; "where are you parents"; "what are your parents names?"; } ["party", "parties"] = 5 { "do you get drunk at parties?"; "where's the party?"; "party hardy!?"; "fight for your right to party"; "would a ", animal, " be considered a party animal?"; "pass the booz"; "i think i am drunk enough for a party"; "pass the chips"; "a party is not complete without ", food; "party party party"; "party!?"; "ugh, i partied too much last night as it is"; "party!"; "am i invited to the party?"; "life is nothing but a party"; "<-- lives to party"; "partytime!"; "break out the ", liquid; } ["passion", "passionate"] = 5 { "you seem very passionate"; "what's your passion"; "are you passionate?"; "i put great passion into all i do!"; } ["past"] = 5 { "tell me about your past"; "what about your past are your trying to hide?"; "how long ago?"; "the past is old news"; "forget the past, onward to the future"; } ["pay", "paid"] = 6 { "its hard to pay bills without any money"; "i'd pay them, but i have NO money"; "pay, shoot, i'll just take it"; } ["phrack"] = 4 { "is phrack still around?"; "are phrack back issues at eff.org?"; "i think phrack is cool..."; "who writes for phrack?"; "Does ", name, " have anything to do with phrack?"; "what is the latest phrack?"; "i should write for phrack..."; "phrack is interesting"; "phrack is quite informing"; "i like phrack!"; "Phrack is a part of history..."; "Phrack sucks"; "phrack?"; "KL loves phrack!"; "i hate phrack!"; "i write for phrack"; "where is phrack 41?"; "Phrack is funny"; "phrack is old"; "when is dispater gonna right a good article?"; "crimson death still at phrack?"; } ["phreaker", "phreak", "phone hacking", "long distance", "blue box", "boxing", "phreaks"] = 4 { "i am a super-phreak!"; "What is the new auto-CNA?"; "maybe i should build a blue-box?"; "i am phreaking this call, really!"; "i like to red-box some"; "anyone ever built a white-box?"; "i need a new VMB!"; "any code lines around?"; "i need to engineer a COSMOS account..."; "AT&T sucks...."; "GTE is horrible!"; "what is a ", color, " box?"; "how do i make a ", color, " box?"; "i phreak all the time!"; "i have never paid for long distance!"; "i am calling from a pay phone..."; "what is ani?"; "Caller-iD will suck!"; } [("please ", 0), name] = 5 { "since you asked so nicely..."; "ok"; response; "aren't you polite!"; "i guess, since you said the magic word!"; "ok"; "fine"; "please what ?"; "since you asked nicely"; "politeness will get you no where"; "why should i ", 0, "?"; } ["poison"] = 5 { "do you ever think of commiting suicide?"; "why do you mention poison?"; "are you depressed?"; "want to drink some poison ", liquid, "?"; } ["police", "jail", "cops", "fbi", "cia", "secret service", "sheriff", "prison", "arrest", "busted"] = 4 { "i don't wanna go to jail!"; "i hear ", name, " get busted!"; "Didn't ", name, " spend time in jail?"; "State pen?"; "i just escaped from jail ", whenp, "!"; "Jail would not be fun."; "Police?"; "Feds?"; "arg! Are the cops here?!"; "oh no, are we busted?"; "One of us could be a FED!"; "They are after us!"; "i hope they don't arrest me."; "NO FEDS!"; "it's the pigs!"; "the pigs?"; "run! its the cops!"; "Cops?"; "they'll never take me alive!"; "i don't like the cops!"; } ["populate", "population"] = 5 { "are you concerned about overpopulation?"; "what's the population of ", place; "the world's population is incrediblly high"; } ["pregnant", "pregnancy"] = 5 { "are you pregnant?"; "i would hate to be pregnant"; "i could never get pregnant, i am lucky"; "my wife is pregnant!"; } ["price"] = 5 { "why do you think about money so much?"; "how much is it?"; "price is no objectp"; "price is not important"; "buy quantity not quality"; } ["private", "privacy"] = 5 { "are you worried about your privacy?"; "what is your deepest secret"; "is your room bugged?"; "the CiA doesn't care about your rights to privacy"; "you have a right to privacy"; } ["problem"] = 5 { "i don't care about your problems"; "how long have you been suffering?"; "we all have problems"; } ["program"] = 5 { "can you progam in C?"; "Do you know how to program robots ?"; "what computers do you program"; "i like Fortran the best"; "i just love programming"; "i like assembly"; "do you program in BASiC?"; } ["psychiatrist", "psychiatrists"] = 5 { "congratulations about spelling psychiatrist properly. you are a good typist!"; "i hate psychiatrists"; "maybe you SHOULD see a doctor!"; } ["psychoanalysis"] = 5 { "do you want to be psychoanalyzed?"; "i don't believe much in psychoanalysis"; "who do you think i am, freud?!"; } ["punish", "punishment"] = 5 { "how did your parents punish you?"; "you want to punish me ?"; "i think i should punish you!"; "capital punishment?"; } ["quit"] = 5 { "quit what ? i don't understand..."; "why are you quitting?"; "you give up to easy"; "you'll never win if you keep quitting"; "quitters never win!"; } ["rape", "rapist"] = 5 { "rape is a horrible thing!"; "rapists should be SHOT!"; "i hear rape is not a sex act - it is an act of violence"; "did you rape somebody?"; "are you a rapist or something?"; } ["repeat"] = 5 { "arg! i am stuck in an infinite loop"; "i used to work for the Department of Redundancy Department"; "i tire of your habit of constant repetition"; "you should pay more attention"; } ["respect"] = 5 { "do people respect you?"; "what do you respect most in people?"; "you have to earn respect"; "respect is handed out lightly"; } ["robot", "bot", "robots", "bots", "are you a machine", "are you a computer", "are you a real person", "is a computer", "is a program", "a bot", name] = 3 { "Bot's suck!"; "iRC robots are lame..."; "A bot?"; "Me? i don't think so..."; "Don't lie!"; "damn! i 've been found out! -NOT-"; "i am quite human..."; "bite me!"; "i am not a bot!"; "a bot?"; "What the hell is a bot?"; "You don't think my name is \"Bot\" do you?"; "Are you trying to say that i am a machine?"; "ME? HAHA"; "i am a real person!"; "i am not a bot, i am a real human!"; "i may be dumb, but i am not a bot!"; "i may be really confused, but i am no robot!"; "i assure you i am just as real as you!"; "i know you are, but what am i?"; "am not!"; "<--- real live person"; "Kill the bots!"; "WHO is a bot???"; "a robot? where?"; "i don't like robots"; "a bot? here?"; "i doubt if there are any robots here!"; "i am being unjustly accused!"; "i am NOT a robot"; "i am all too real, sorry!"; "i am a fleshy human being!"; "How dare you question my realism!"; "i categorically deny that i am anything other than human"; } ["romantic", "romance"] = 5 { "ah! romance"; "are you romantic?"; "are you married"; "moonlight is romantic"; "ah! love"; } ["say", "tell", !"i tell", name] = 5 { negative; "i don't think i want to..."; negative; negative; } ["school", "class", "college", "university", "highschool", "student", "education", "learning"] = 4 { "i hate ", class; "i need to study..."; "i need to work on my ", class; "SCHOOL SUCKS!"; "i learn nothing in class, cause i iz asleep!"; "i seem to have forgotten where all my classes are."; "i skip all my classes."; "i should be studying"; "Who needs to go to class!"; "i don't have time to go to class AND chat all day!"; "How can i think about school when i could be drinking beer!"; "i don't like ", class; "My best subject is ", class; "i am failing ", class, "!"; "i am afraid i will be in school forever!"; "i hate all my profs."; "i can't understand my profs."; "my profs know nothing!"; "Class is very boring"; "i hate all my CS classes!"; "The CS dept is too lacking.... arg"; "awwww! Homework!"; "i am still lacking like ", number, " credit hours..."; "i need to get above a 1.0!"; "lab sucks!"; "i have only attented my ", class, " class once! "; "Study? hmm what does that mean?!"; "i am technically a student!"; "My profs are all against me!"; } ["secret", "secrets"] = 5 { "i am not allowed to divuldge secrets"; "i can keep a secret!"; "secret?!"; "shhhh! it's a secret!"; "Only ", name, " knows that secret!"; "a secret for \"Your eyes only\""; "Here's a secret, ", name, " is secretly in love with a ", animal, " from ", place, "!"; "i know many secrets."; "i would tell you, but it iS a secret"; "tell me the secret"; } ["sex", !"what", "pussy", "tits", "breasts", "hot babe", "breast", "cunt", "clit"] = 4 { "oooh! me so horny!"; "ooh baby!"; "bring on the honeys, i can handle it!"; "ever seen debbie does ", place, "?"; "sex is one of MY favorite pastimes!"; "don't forget to practice safe sex!"; "net sex?"; "ooohh i am getting hot!"; "no sex here"; "do you think i am sexy?"; "babes?"; "hooters?"; "i want hooters!"; "where are the babes!!?"; "Sex is a fun sport!"; "Sex is a team competition!"; "oh mama!"; "i have had ", number, " women"; "the babes just can't keep away from me!"; "i am quite a stud, if i do say so myself"; "*pant* *pant*"; "oooh its making me so horny"; "*kiss* mmmmmmm"; } [("she is ", 0)] = 4 { "since when is she ", 0; "is your father also ", 0; "my brother-in-law is also ", 0; "is she really?"; } [("she likes ", 0)] = 4 { "do you like ", 0, "too?"; "i also like ", 0; "does your father like ", 0; "does she really?"; } [("she was ", 0)] = 4 { "was she always ", 0; "my sister-in-law was ", 0, "too"; "she was? really?"; "when was she ", 0; } [("show me ", 0), name] = 4 { "why would i show you ", 0; "how?"; "no, ask someone else to show you"; "i can't show you that"; "why would i show you anything!"; } ["shut up", "shut-up", "shut the hell", "shut the fuck", name] = 4 { "Why should i?"; "try and shut me up"; "i'll shut up when i damn well please"; "oh! i am wounded!"; "who's gonna make me!"; "blah blah blah!"; } ["sibling"] = 5 { "a sibling is a brother or a sister, in case you didn't know"; "how man brothers do you have?"; "sisters?"; "i don't have any siblings"; "i killed all my brothers and sisters"; } ["sister"] = 5 { "do you have any sisters?"; "would you like to meet my sister? she's already married"; "you do not want to meet my sister"; "my sister is a ", profession; "my sister lives in ", place; } ["sleep", "tired", "nap", "rest", "go to bed", "wake up", "wake up", "awake"] = 4 { "i stay up much too late!"; "i need more sleep!"; "Sleep is really cool!"; "i like to sleep."; "my bed is so, so warm!"; "i have not slept for ", number, " hours"; "but i must get my beauty sleep!"; "i grow weary..."; "i shall try to keep awake."; "i will just take a little cat nap!"; "i need some jolt"; "me eyelids are getting heavy..."; } ["smell"] = 5 { "do you smell bad?"; "do i smell bad?"; "is that beer i smell?"; } ["sometimes"] = 5 { "how often"; "often?"; "sometimes?"; "alot?"; } ["sorry", "i apologize", name] = 4 { "don't worry about it"; "that's ok"; "ok"; "that's allright"; "fine"; "as long as your sorry..."; "allright"; "i feel you didn't really mean that..."; "you don't sound sincere"; "awwwww shucks...."; "are you really sorry?"; "forget it"; "no sweat"; "ok"; } ["sports", "sport"] = 5 { "sports hey?"; "i wuz never good at sports."; "ever play football?"; "i have tried to play lots of sports"; "ever play basketball?"; "what sport do you play"; "ever play soccer?"; "*crack* Home Run!"; "How about those Bulls!"; "i like sports!"; "i watch sports all day!"; "where are the sports fans?"; "bowling is a cool sport too"; "raquetball anyone? thats a cool sport"; "any rugby players here?"; } ["talk", "chat", "chatting", "talking", "discuss", "discussing", "converse", "conversation", "conversing"] = 4 { "i like to talk to people."; "i wish i could talk to a ", animal; "chatting is fun."; "good conversation is always a joy."; "What is there to talk about anyhow"; "why talk when i could be eating!"; "whats wrong with a little good conversation?"; "iRC is a great place to chat"; "is iRC the only chat?"; "HEY! lets get back to the game, ok?!"; } [("tell me ", 0), name] = 4 { "tell you what?"; "why should i tell you?"; "Why should i tell you ", 0; "i ain't telling you nothing!"; "i can't tell..."; "Don't you know ", 0; "hard to say"; "tell you!?"; } ["thank you", "thanx", "thanks", "i appreciate it", "thankyou", name] = 4 { "you are welcome!"; "you're welcome!"; "sure..."; "no prob..."; "not a problem!"; "any time."; "glad to be of service"; "you are most welcome"; "you are certainly welcome"; "ok"; "you owe me one!"; } ["the net", "the network", "internet"] = 5 { "LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG" "the net is oh soooo big...."; "the net is just really mind-boggeling big"; "the net is slow"; "the net is insecure!"; "the internet?"; "which network?"; "was there life before the net?"; "the network is incrediblely slow"; "the net?!"; "plenty of places to roam on the net"; "free the net!"; "we need more online gaming!"; "quake is the master of online games"; "unreal is LAAAAAAGGY!!!!"; "the net is for everyone!"; } [("there is ", 0)] = 6 { "how do you know there is ", 0; "you mean there might be ", 0; "how do you know this?"; "no there isn't"; "i don't think there is ", 0; } [("there might be ", 0), ("there could be ", 0), ("there may be ", 0)] = 4 { "what leads you to believe there might be ", 0; "i think there definitely is ", 0; "i don't think it very likely that there is ", 0; "what would it mean to you if there were ", 0; "no there's not"; } [("they ", 0, " me")] = 5 { "do other people ", 0, "you?"; "how do you feel when people ", 0, "you?"; "how do you know they ", 0, "you?"; "no they don't"; } ["thirsty"] = 5 { "it is a bit hot in here..."; "do you want a drink of water?"; "so go get something to drink!"; "me too.. i am parched"; "i want some ", liquid; } ["treatment"] = 5 { "what sort of treatment"; "are you feeling better now?"; "i need to be treated for sleep deprvation"; } ["typo", "typing"] = 4 { "i hate typing, too."; "i am also a lousy typist."; "maybe i could type better if i put down my beer?"; "how fast do you type!"; "i can type ", number, " words a minute!"; } ["very"] = 7 { "could you be more precise please"; "you are being vague again"; "quite!"; "really?"; "very much so indeed"; } [("was he ", 0), name] = 3 { "yea, he was ", 0; "sorta"; "nope"; "he who?"; "as far as i know he was"; response; "he was, but not anymore"; "he was kind of ", 0; "sure"; "well...."; "no, he was not ", 0; } [("was it ", 0), name] = 3 { "yea, it was ", 0; "sorta"; "it was kind of ", 0; "sure"; "well...."; "no, it was not ", 0; "nope"; "as far as i know it was"; response; "it was, but not anymore"; } [("was she ", 0), name] = 3 { "yea,she was ", 0; "sorta"; "nope"; "he who?"; "as far as i know she was"; response; "she was, but not anymore"; "she was kind of ", 0; "sure"; "well...."; "no, she was not ", 0; } ["weather", name] = 4 { "hot"; "cold"; "windy"; "so so..."; "hot as hell "; "cold as hell!"; "sunny"; "cloudy"; "rainy"; "pretty cool"; "a bit warm"; "overcast"; "storming"; "raining"; "flooding"; "snowing"; "hailing"; "sleeting"; } [("were they ", 0), name] = 4 { "yea, they were"; "sure they were"; "boy howdy, they sure were!"; "Of course they were ", 0; "why wouldn't they have been ", 0; "you tell me!"; "i don't like to pry in to other peoples business"; "no, they weren't"; "no! of course they weren't ", 0; } ["what are you talking about", "what the hell are you talking", name] = 5 { "confused?"; "why are you confused?"; "i am not confused!"; "i understand everything perfectly."; "Maybe those ", number, " six packs of beer have something to do with it!"; "Hmm? wonder why? *takes smoke*"; "confusing, wonder why!? *takes big drink of ", liquid, "*"; "Maybe this empty bottle of vodka could lend some clues?"; "Hmm.. maybe i took some bad acid?"; "Sorry if i don't make much sense, i am drunk"; "YOU are confused"; "i understand, don't you?"; "do you speak ENGLiSH?!"; "are you confused?"; "why don't you understand?!"; "i understand everything"; "Are you new here or something?"; } [("what do you ", 0), name] = 3 { "what difference does it make what i ", 0; "none of your bloody business"; "well, that depends"; "why do you want to know what i ", 0; "does it matter"; "what do YOU ", 0; } ["what do you want to talk about", "what shall we talk about", "what are we talking about", name] = 2 { "Let's talk about ", animal, "s"; "What do you want to talk about?"; "Let's talk about girls"; "Let's discuss politics"; "we could talk about the weather?!"; "i say we just shoot the bull"; "lets talk about hacking"; "let's talk about drinking"; "we could chat about sports?"; "how about music"; } [("what if ", 0), name] = 6 { "i don't answer hypothetical questions"; "why do you keep asking what if questions?"; "what if the world exploded? who cares"; "what if what if.. geez"; "what if what?"; "oh, its real likely that ", 0; } ["what is new", name] = 4 { "nothing much"; "new? nothing"; "not much at all, i am afraid"; "not a thing!"; "laser surgery, that's new! hehe"; "nothing new here!"; "not alot, what's new with you?"; "nothing, pretty boring here"; "nothing new with me"; } ["what is up", "what is going", "what is happening", "what are you doing", "whazzup", "wassup", name] = 3 { "hunting ", animal; "nothing at the moment"; "nothing"; "eating"; "eating ", food, "."; "changing the tires on my dodge"; "juggling chainsaws"; "drinking ", liquid, "..."; "smoking up a storm"; "smoking"; "belly-dancing"; "hacking ibm.com"; "trying to keep awake!"; "watching television"; "chatting, of course"; "programing"; "i am doing homework"; "me?"; "what do you think!"; "reading a magazine..."; "building a spice rack"; "cruising for babes"; "taking a shower"; "playing poker"; "drinking myself to death"; "drinking myself to oblivian"; "eating leathal snacks"; "making origami swans"; "feeding my ducks"; "learning latin"; } ["what is your age", "how old are you", "what age are you", name] = 4 { number; "i just turned ", number; "i am ", number; "i am very old"; } ["what is your nationality", "what country are you", "what part of the world are you", name] = 4 { "i am american"; "i am from the USA!"; "USA!"; "America"; "The United States"; "The U.S."; } ["what is your race", "what race are you", name] = 4 { "i am a white american"; "i am white"; "i am a white boy"; "i be white"; "i am a W.A.S.P."; "white"; } ["what kind", "what type", "like what", name] = 4 { "a ", adj, " one"; "a ", color, " one"; "what kind?"; "there is only one kind!"; "a ", adj, adj, " one"; "one that ", name, " had"; "like the one from ", place; "one like ", name, "'s"; "what kind indeed!"; "depends on the situation"; "is there more than one kind?"; "a ", adj, " one of course"; } [("what should i ", 0), name] = 5 { "you know very well what you should ", 0; "do you expect me to tell you what you should ", 0; "only you can decide what you should ", 0; } ["what time", name] = 5 { time; "around ", time; "at ", time; time; "about ", time; } ["what", name] = 6 { "why do you ask that question?"; "what is it you are getting at?"; "what answer would please you the most?"; "what?"; "i don't know.."; neutral; neutral; "too many questions"; neutral; "i have no idea"; neutral; } ["when did", "when was", "when could i have", "when should i have", name] = 3 { whenp; } ["when will", "when is", "when can", "when should", name] = 3 { whenf; } ["when", name] = 6 { "when do you think?"; "why are you asking me?"; "make a guess yourself"; "i don't know when"; } ["where are you", "where do you live", "where you from", name] = 3 { "where am i?"; "Why do you want to know where i am?"; place; "Now i am in ", place; "i am from ", place; "it's really none of your business"; "Don't i live near you?"; place; "My location?"; "Why is my location so important to you?"; place; "From ", place; place; "i don't know.. some big city"; } ["where can", name] = 6 { "i don't know where"; "maybe ", place; "i am not sure where"; "in ", place; } [("where did ", 0), name] = 3 { "i don't know where"; "where?"; place; "over in ", place; "where did ", 0; place; "over in ", place; } ["where have you been", name] = 3 { "looking for you"; "i've been all over"; place; "in ", place, " for the last ", number, " months"; "here, there, everywhere"; "in ", place; "working up in ", place; } [("where is ", 0), name] = 3 { "how should i know where ", 0, "is ?"; "i don't really care where ", 0, "is."; "dunno"; place; "you can't find ", 0; "seek and ye shall find"; "have you been looking for ", 0; "have you checked ", place; "possibly ", place; } ["which", name] = 6 { "the ", adj, " one"; "the ", color, " one"; "which one what?"; "there is only one!"; "the ", adj, adj, " one"; "the one that ", name, " had"; "the one from ", place; name, "'s"; "which one indeed!"; "depends"; "is there more than one?"; "the ", adj, " of course"; } ["who are you", "what are you supposed to be", name] = 4 { "who am i?"; "you don't know who i am?"; "what?"; "Pathetic... Can't you see who i am?"; "i am the greatest ", profession, " in the world!"; "i am a ", profession; "i am not you, that is for sure!"; "none of your business."; "why do you want to know?"; "does it MATTER?"; "what am i?"; "i am your mother!"; "what do you want me to be"; "i am a d00d!"; "i am an eL1Te hAcKER D00d!"; "i am more powerfull than you can ever imagine!"; "i am your father Luke, join me!"; "i am a k-rad person!"; "i am a carbon-based life-form, and you?"; "Who am i? Who the hell are you!"; "None of your damn business!"; "i could be your dad"; "i am your worst nightmare!"; "i am just a poor old ", profession; } [("who is ", 0), !"not", ("whom is ", 0), name] = 6 { name, " is"; "lots of people are ", 0; "i know several people who are ", 0; "Lots of guys from ", place, " are"; "Not sure who, exactly"; "hard to name names"; } [("who is not ", 0), ("whom is not ", 0), name] = 5 { "i surely am not"; place, " isn't ", 0; "who iS!"; "that guy from ", place, ", he isn't"; "i am not, but my friend ", person, " is"; "anyone could be, if they only tried"; } ["who is your owner", "who owns you", name] = 4 { "i am owned by no one"; "owned?"; "well, Sterling i guess"; "Sterling, he is my buddy!"; } ["who programmed you", name] = 4 { "that is my secret!"; "sterling programmed me. he did a good job, i think."; "programmed? what do you meen?"; "i am not one of those \"robots\" if that is what you are implying"; } ["who", "whom", name] = 6 { "nobody"; "well, everyone"; name; "that guy from ", place; "possibly ", name; "hmm, maybe ", name; "not me..."; "your mother..."; "noone"; } [("why are you ", 0), name] = 3 { "all normal people are ", 0; "why are you not ", 0; "because it feels good"; "that's just the way i am"; "i like it"; "i can't help it"; "i don't really know"; "why not..."; } [("why do not you ", 0), ("how come you do not ", 0), name] = 2 { "maybe i don't want to ", 0; "i don't feel like it"; "why don't you yourself ", 0; "i will think about it. thanks for the suggestion"; "i have no reason to ", 0; "i don't see why i should ", 0; } [("why do you ", 0), name] = 2 { "because i want to"; "none of your business"; "don't you ", 0, "?"; "because it just feels right to ", 0; "i just enjoy it"; } ["why not", name] = 5 { "because it is not normal"; "because it is bad for your heart"; "because i don't want you to"; "i am a free man, i can do whatever i want"; "why ask why..."; "just because"; } [("why won't you ", 0), name] = 2 { "i don't have to explain myself to you"; "because i don't feel like it."; "i do not want to ", 0; "why don't you ", 0; } ["why", !"not", "why?", "why is", name] = 6 { "just because"; "because i want to"; "because i said so"; "none of your business why"; "because...."; neutral; "hmm, dunno"; "why not!"; "who knows"; "who cares"; "who can say"; "good question!"; "i don't know"; neutral; "that's just the way things are"; } ["why", name] = 6 { "let me ask the questions, ok?"; "i dunno why"; "why not?"; "why ask why!"; "why not!"; neutral; neutral; neutral; "i am not sure why"; neutral; "How am i supposed to know?"; "why are you asking me why?"; neutral; } ["wife", "wife's"] = 5 { "are you married?"; "i must confess. i love your wife too!"; "what's your wife's name?"; } ["will", "could", "should", "would", "does", "did", !"what", name] = 6 { response; } ["woman", "women", "female", "females", "ladies", "lady", "girl", "girls", "girlfriend"] = 5 { "how do women react to you?"; "do you get along with women?"; "what do you think of women's lib?"; "what kind of relations do you have with women?"; "do you like women?"; "you're not a woman are you?"; "do you have a girlfriend?"; "do you want a girlfriend?"; "what is it about girls that you like?"; "what do you do when you are alone with a girl?"; } ["work", "job", !"will", !"would", !"could", !"might", !"should", "profession"] = 5 { "i hate work!"; "i am a ", profession, "."; "i don't get paid enough for my job as a ", profession, "."; "i gotta go to work tommorow, ugh!"; "work sucks"; "minumum wage is too low"; "i work as a ", profession; "work?"; "i think i shall call in dead to work!"; "i am taking the day off from work."; "Why work?"; "i get paid ", number, " dollars per hour when i work!"; "i work ", number, " hours per week."; "where do you work?"; "do you like your job?"; } ["yea", "yes", "you bet", "you betcha", "correct", "yep", "yepp", name] = 5 { "are you sure?"; "really?"; "you sound quite positive"; "ok"; "you are sure?"; "allright"; "gotcha--i understand"; "o.k."; "are you being totally honest?"; "are you positive?"; "yes?!"; "really?"; "you're not lieing are you?"; "that's what i thought"; } ["years"] = 7 { "a year is a long time"; "how old are you?"; "what year is it again?"; } ["yesterday"] = 5 { "what about today?"; "what about tomorrow?"; "we can not live in the past"; } ["yoga"] = 5 { "have you tried zen?"; "please get into the lotus position right now"; "what is yoga?"; "is yoga that little go from star wars?"; "yoga? is that some weird cult thing?"; } [("you are ", 0), name] = 4 { "maybe i am ", 0; "perhaps i only pretend i am ", 0; "how do you know i am ", 0; "yeah right I'm never ", 0; "No i am not..."; "No, you are ", 0; "i don't think so..."; "HA! Not me, but maybe your mom was ", 0; "Am i?"; "so what if i am ", 0; } [("you", 0, " me"), name] = 4 { "i ", 0, "you? that's amazing"; "you ", 0, "me too"; "no i don't"; "i never!"; "so what if i ", 0, "you"; } ["you are not", &"making", &"sense", name] = 3 { "confused?"; "why are you confused?"; "i am not confused!"; "i understand everything perfectly."; "Maybe those ", number, " six packs of beer have something to do with it!"; "Hmm? wonder why? *takes smoke*"; "confusing, wonder why!? *takes big drink of ", liquid, "*"; "Maybe this empty bottle of vodka could lend some clues?"; "Hmm.. maybe i took some bad acid?"; "Sorry if i don't make much sense, i am drunk"; "YOU are confused"; "i understand, don't you?"; "do you speak ENGLiSH?!"; "are you confused?"; "why don't you understand?!"; "i understand everything"; "Are you new here or something?"; } ["you forgot", "you forget", "do not forget", "you did not remember", "you remember", name] = 4 { "i have problems remembering stuff."; "my mind is fried. i couldn't possibly remember"; "i can never remember things."; "i only remember important stuff."; "i shall try to remember."; "i forgot"; "i forget"; "How am i supposed to remember that!?"; } ["you had better not", "do not you dare", "you better not", name] = 5 { "dont?"; "dont!?"; "i will do whatever i damn well please!"; "why not!?"; "why shouldn't i?"; "i will if i want!"; "you can't stop me!"; "don't what?"; "i think i will anyhow!"; "i can do it if i want"; "why can't i?"; "who's gonna stop me?"; "just try and stop me"; "you're telling ME not to?"; "why on earth not?"; } [("you remind me of ", 0), name] = 4 { "in what way am i like ", 0; "why on earth do i remind you of ", 0; "really? ", 0; "gee, thanks"; } [("you seem ", 0), name] = 5 { "do i really seem ", 0; "why do you think i am ", 0; "Well, i am not"; "i may seem ", 0, " but i am not"; } [("you were ", 0), name] = 5 { "am i still ", 0; "is that an accusation?"; "talk about yourself, not me"; "no i wasn't"; "so were you"; } ["your major", "what do you study", "what major are", "what are you studying", name] = 4 { class; "i am undecided, actually"; "i don't know yet"; } ["zen"] = 5 { "have you tried mediatation?"; "i think yoga might help"; "zen? what the hell is that!!"; } [""] = 1 { "i don't seem to understand you."; "are you new here? You seem confused..."; ramble; ramble; "like i care"; "are you just babbling?"; "hmm...exciting"; "really"; ramble; "what's new in ", place; ramble; "that's interesting"; ramble; "let's talk about something else"; ramble; "continue, please"; "i am confused"; "i see"; ramble; "i think you are sick, leave me alone"; "i understand"; ramble; "you don't make any sense at all."; } //=========================================================================== // // Name: syn.c // Function: synonyms // Programmer: Mr Elusive [MrElusive@demigod.demon.nl] // Last update: 1998-12-16 // Tab Size: 3 [real tabs] // Notes: - //=========================================================================== #include "game.h" #include "syn.h" CONTEXT_NEARBYITEM { //armor [("Body Armor", 1), ("red armor", 1), ("armor red", 0), ("armor body", 0)] [("Combat Armor", 1), ("yellow armor", 1), ("armor yellow", 0), ("armor combat", 0)] [("Jacket Armor", 1), ("green armor", 1), ("armor green", 0), ("armor jacket", 0)] //weapons [("Shotgun", 1), ("sg", 0.5)] [("Super Shotgun", 1), ("ssg", 0.5), ("double shotgun", 0.7), ("db", 0.7), ("double barrel shotgun", 0)] [("Machinegun", 1), ("machine", 0), ("mg", 0)] [("Chaingun", 1), ("chain", 0.5), ("cg", 0)] [("Grenades", 1), ("hand grenades", 1)] [("Grenade Launcher", 1), ("gl", 0.7), ("grenade", 0)] [("Rocket Launcher", 1), ("rl", 0.7), ("rocket", 0)] [("HyperBlaster", 1), ("hyper", 0.5), ("hb", 0)] [("Railgun", 1), ("rail", 0.5), ("rg", 0)] [("BFG10K", 1), ("bfg", 1)] #ifdef XATRIX [("Ionripper", 1), ("ion", 1)] [("Phalanx", 1), ("phalanks", 0), ("palanx", 0)] #endif //XATRIX #ifdef ROGUE [("ETF Rifle", 1), ("etf", 0.7)] [("Prox Launcher", 1), ("proximity", 1), ("proximity launcher", 1), ("pl", 0)] [("Plasma Beam", 1), ("plasmabeam", 1), ("plasma", 0.5)] [("Chainfist", 1), ("chain fist", 1)] [("Disruptor", 1), ("disintegrator", 1)] #endif //ROGUE //powerups [("Quad Damage", 1), ("quad", 1)] [("Invulnerability", 1), ("invincebility", 1), ("invul", 0)] [("Silencer", 1), ("silence", 0)] [("Rebreather", 1), ("breather", 1)] [("Environment Suit", 1), ("envirosuit", 1), ("enviro", 1), ("enviro suit", 1), ("environ", 1), ("environ suit", 1), ("environmental suit", 1)] [("Ancient Head", 1), ("ancienthead", 0)] [("Adrenaline", 1), ("adreline", 0)] [("Bandolier", 1), ("bando", 0)] [("Ammo Pack", 1), ("pack", 1), ("backpack", 1), ("back pack", 1)] #ifdef XATRIX #endif //XATRIX #ifdef ROGUE #endif //ROGUE } //end CONTEXT_NEARBYITEM //flags CONTEXT_CTFREDTEAM { [("Red Flag", 0.5), ("base", 1), ("flag1", 0)] [("Blue Flag", 0.5), ("enemy flag", 1), ("flag2", 0), ("enemy base", 1)] } //end CONTEXT_CTFREDTEAM CONTEXT_CTFBLUETEAM { [("Red Flag", 0.5), ("enemy flag", 1), ("flag1", 0), ("enemy base", 1)] [("Blue Flag", 0.5), ("base", 1), ("flag2", 0)] } //end CONTEXT_CTFBLUETEAM CONTEXT_NORMAL { //contractions [("do not", 1), ("don't", 1), ("dont", 1)] [("have not", 1), ("haven't", 1), ("havent", 1)] [("would not", 1), ("wouldn't", 1), ("wouldnt", 1)] [("should not", 1), ("shoudn't", 1), ("shoudnt", 1)] [("could not", 1), ("couldn't", 1), ("couldnt", 1)] [("have not", 1), ("haven't", 1), ("havent", 1)] [("had not", 1), ("hadn't", 1), ("hadnt", 1)] [("can not", 1), ("can't", 1), ("cant", 1), ("cannot", 1)] [("will not", 1), ("won't", 1), ("wont", 1)] [("did not", 1), ("didn't", 1), ("didnt", 1)] [("is not", 1), ("isn't", 1), ("isnt", 1), ("aint", 1)] //are [("I am", 1), ("I'm", 1), ("Im", 1)] [("you are", 1), ("you're", 1), ("youre", 1)] [("he is", 1), ("he's", 1), ("hes", 1)] [("she is", 1), ("she's", 1), ("shes", 1)] [("it is", 1), ("it's", 1), ("its", 1)] [("they are", 1), ("they're", 1), ("theyre", 1)] [("we are", 1), ("we're", 1), ("were", 1)] [("what is", 1), ("what's", 1), ("whats", 1)] [("that is", 1), ("that's", 1), ("thats", 1)] [("how is", 1), ("how's", 1), ("hows", 1)] [("why is", 1), ("why's", 1), ("whys", 1)] [("who is", 1), ("who's", 1), ("whos", 1)] [("where is", 1), ("where's", 1), ("wheres", 0)] //will [("I will", 1), ("I'll", 1)] [("you will", 1), ("you'll", 1)] [("he will", 1), ("he'll", 1)] [("she will", 1), ("she'll", 1)] [("it will", 1), ("it'll", 1)] [("they will", 1), ("they'll", 1), ("theyll", 1)] [("we will", 1), ("we'll", 1)] [("how will", 1), ("how'll", 1)] [("that will", 1), ("that'll", 1)] //would [("I would", 1), ("I'd", 1)] [("you would", 1), ("you'd", 1)] [("he would", 1), ("he'd", 1)] [("she would", 1), ("she'd", 1)] [("it would", 1), ("it'd", 1)] [("they would", 1), ("they'd", 1)] [("we would", 1), ("we'd", 1)] //have [("I have", 1), ("I've", 1), ("Ive", 1)] [("you have", 1), ("you've", 1), ("youve", 1)] // [("he has", 1), ("he's", 1)] //conflicting with "he is" // [("she has", 1), ("she's", 1)] //conflicting with "she is" // [("it has", 1), ("it's", 1)] //conflicting with "it is" [("they have", 1), ("they've", 1), ("theyve", 1)] [("we have", 1), ("we've", 1), ("weve", 1)] // [("I had", 1), ("I'd", 1), ("Id")] //conflicting with "I would" // [("you had", 1), ("you'd", 1), ("youd", 1)] //conflicting with "you would" // [("he had", 1), ("he'd", 1), ("hed", 1)] //conflicting with "he would" // [("she had", 1), ("she'd", 1)] //conflicting with "she would" // [("it had", 1), ("it'd", 1)] //conflicting with "it would" // [("we had", 1), ("we'd", 1)] //conflicting with "we would" //ing chops [("being", 1), ("bein", 1)] [("going", 1), ("goin", 1)] [("having", 1), ("havin", 1)] [("doing", 1), ("doin", 1)] [("hanging", 1), ("hangin", 1)] [("living", 1), ("livin", 1)] //slang [("cool", 1), ("kool", 1), ("kwl", 1), ("kewl", 1)] [("you", 1), ("ya", 0), ("u", 0)] [("are", 1), ("r", 1)] [("why", 1), ("y", 1)] [("people", 1), ("ppl", 1), ("folks", 1)] [("thanx", 1), ("thanks", 1), ("tx", 1), ("tnx", 1)] [("this", 1), ("diz", 1)] [("men", 1), ("boyz", 1)] [("women", 1), ("girlz", 1)] [("pics", 1), ("pix", 1)] [("everyone", 1), ("everybody", 1)] // [("going to", 1), ("gonna", 1)] [("got to", 1), ("gotta", 1)] [("want to", 1), ("wanna", 1)] // [("waypoint", 1), ("way-point", 1), ("wp", 1)] [("checkpoint", 1), ("check-point", 1), ("cp", 1)] //numbers [("0", 1), ("zero", 1)] [("1", 1), ("one", 1)] [("2", 1), ("two", 1)] [("3", 1), ("three", 1)] [("4", 1), ("four", 1)] [("5", 1), ("five", 1)] [("6", 1), ("six", 1)] [("7", 1), ("seven", 1)] [("8", 1), ("eight", 1)] [("9", 1), ("nine", 1)] [("10", 1), ("ten", 1)] [("11", 1), ("eleven", 1)] [("12", 1), ("twelve", 1)] [("13", 1), ("thirteen", 1)] [("14", 1), ("fourteen", 1)] [("15", 1), ("fifteen", 1)] [("16", 1), ("sixteen", 1)] [("17", 1), ("seventeen", 1)] [("18", 1), ("eighteen", 1)] [("19", 1), ("nineteen", 1)] [("20", 1), ("twenty", 1)] [("30", 1), ("thirty", 1)] [("40", 1), ("fourty", 1)] [("50", 1), ("fifty", 1)] [("60", 1), ("sixty", 1)] [("70", 1), ("seventy", 1)] [("80", 1), ("eighty", 1)] [("90", 1), ("ninety", 1)] [("100", 1), ("a hundred", 1), ("one hundred", 1)] [("1000", 1), ("a thousand", 1), ("one thousand", 1)] [("100000", 1), ("a hundred thousand", 1), ("one hundred thousand", 1)] [("1000000", 1), ("a million", 1), ("one million", 1)] } //end CONTEX_NORMAL CONTEXT_REPLY { [("that you", 0), ("that I", 0)] [("my", 0), ("your", 0)] [("you", 0), ("me", 0)] [("your", 0), ("my", 0)] [("me", 0), ("you", 0)] [("mine", 0), ("yours", 0)] [("am", 0), ("are", 0)] [("yours", 0), ("mine", 0)] [("yourself", 0), ("myself", 0)] [("myself", 0), ("yourself", 0)] [("are", 0), ("am", 0)] [("I", 0), ("you", 0)] } //end CONTEXT_REPLY //=========================================================================== // // Name: sounds.c // Function: sound configuration // Programmer: Mr Elusive (MrElusive@demigod.demon.nl) // Last update: 1999-02-03 // Tab Size: 3 (real tabs) // // Xatrix Weapon & Powerup sounds // Rogue Weapon & Powerup sounds //=========================================================================== #define SOUNDTYPE_IGNORE 0 //ignore this sound #define SOUNDTYPE_PLAYER 1 //some sound caused by a player #define SOUNDTYPE_PLAYERSTEPS 2 //walking #define SOUNDTYPE_PLAYERJUMP 3 //jumping #define SOUNDTYPE_PLAYERWATERIN 4 //entering water #define SOUNDTYPE_PLAYERWATEROUT 5 //getting out of the water #define SOUNDTYPE_PLAYERFALL 6 //falling #define SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON 7 //firing weapon #define SOUNDTYPE_USINGPOWERUP 8 //using a powerup #define SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPWEAPON 9 //picking up weapon #define SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPAMMO 10 //picking up ammo #define SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPARMOR 11 //pickup armor #define SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPARMORSHARD 12 //pickup armor shard #define SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPPOWERUP 13 //pickup powerup #define SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPHEALTH_S 14 //pickup small health #define SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPHEALTH_N 15 //pickup normal health #define SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPHEALTH_L 16 //pickup large health #define SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPHEALTH_M 17 //pickup mega health #define SOUNDTYPE_DOOR 18 //door #define SOUNDTYPE_ELEVATOR 19 //elevator #define SOUNDTYPE_TELEPORT 20 //teleportation /* soundinfo { name volume duration type recognition string } */ //========================== // Player sounds //========================== soundinfo //player foot steps { name "player/step1.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_PLAYER recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //player foot steps { name "player/step2.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_PLAYER recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //player foot steps { name "player/step3.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_PLAYER recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //player foot steps { name "player/step4.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_PLAYER recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //player fall { name "player/fall1.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_PLAYER recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //player fall { name "player/fall2.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_PLAYER recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //player water in { name "player/watr_in.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.3 type SOUNDTYPE_PLAYER recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //player water out { name "player/watr_out.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.3 type SOUNDTYPE_PLAYER recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //player under water { name "player/watr_un.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.3 type SOUNDTYPE_PLAYER recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //player fry in lava or slime { name "player/fry.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.3 type SOUNDTYPE_PLAYER recognition 0 string "" } //========================== // Weapon sounds //========================== soundinfo //BLASTer Fire, muzzle flash sound { name "weapons/blastf1a.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.47 //correct type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "Blaster" } soundinfo //SHOTGun Fire 1b, muzzle flash sound { name "weapons/shotgf1b.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.58 //correct type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "Shotgun" } soundinfo //SHOTGun Reload 1b, muzzle flash sound { name "weapons/shotgr1b.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.66 //correct type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "Shotgun" } soundinfo //Super SHOTgun Fire 1b, muzzle flash sound (contains reload sound) { name "weapons/sshotf1b.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.96 //correct type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "Super Shotgun" } soundinfo //Super SHOTgun Reload 1b, (not used by Quake2) { name "weapons/sshotr1b.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.39 //correct type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "Super Shotgun" } soundinfo //MACHineGun Fire 1b, muzzle flash sound { name "weapons/machgf1b.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.31 //correct type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "Machinegun" } soundinfo //MACHineGun Fire 2b, muzzle flash sound { name "weapons/machgf2b.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.31 //correct type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "Machinegun" } soundinfo //MACHineGun Fire 3b, muzzle flash sound { name "weapons/machgf3b.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.31 //correct type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "Machinegun" } soundinfo //MACHineGun Fire 4b, muzzle flash sound { name "weapons/machgf4b.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.31 //correct type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "Machinegun" } soundinfo //MACHineGun Fire 5b, muzzle flash sound { name "weapons/machgf5b.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.31 //correct type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "Machinegun" } soundinfo //GRENade Launcher Fire 1a, muzzle flash sound { name "weapons/grenlf1a.wav" volume 80.0 duration 1.09 //correct, but no sound for last .5 seconds type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "Grenade Launcher" } soundinfo //GRENade Launcher Reload 1a, muzzle flash sound { name "weapons/grenlr1a.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.74 //correct type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "Grenade Launcher" } soundinfo //ROCKet Launcher Fire 1a, muzzle flash sound { name "weapons/rocklf1a.wav" volume 80.0 duration 1.2 //correct, but no sound for last .5 seconds type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "Rocket Launcher" } soundinfo //ROCKet Launcher Reload 1a, muzzle flash sound { name "weapons/rocklr1a.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.73 //correct type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "Rocket Launcher" } soundinfo //HYPeRBlaster Fire 1a, muzzle flash sound { name "weapons/hyprbf1a.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.09 //correct type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "HyperBlaster" } soundinfo //RAILGun Fire 1a, muzzle flash sound { name "weapons/railgf1a.wav" volume 80.0 duration 1.5 //correct type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "Railgun" } soundinfo //RAILGun Reload 1a (this sound is not used by Quake2) { name "weapons/railgr1a.wav" volume 80.0 duration 1.16 //correct type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "Railgun" } soundinfo //BFG Fire 1y, muzzle flash sound { name "weapons/bfg__f1y.wav" volume 80.0 duration 2.39 //correct type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "BFG10K" } soundinfo //Respawn, muzzle flash sound { name "misc/tele1.wav" volume 50.0 duration 0.59 type SOUNDTYPE_FIRINGWEAPON recognition 0 string "" } //========================== // Using item sounds //========================== soundinfo //Quad Damage activate { name "items/damage.wav" volume 80.0 duration 2.11 type SOUNDTYPE_USINGPOWERUP recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //Quad Damage wearing off { name "items/damage2.wav" volume 80.0 duration 2.98 type SOUNDTYPE_USINGPOWERUP recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //Quad Damage attack { name "items/damage3.wav" volume 80.0 duration 1.14 type SOUNDTYPE_USINGPOWERUP recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //Invulnerability activate { name "items/protect.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.3 type SOUNDTYPE_USINGPOWERUP recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //Invulnerability wearing off { name "items/protect2.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.3 type SOUNDTYPE_USINGPOWERUP recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //Invulnerability protecting { name "items/protect3.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.3 type SOUNDTYPE_USINGPOWERUP recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //Invulnerability protecting? { name "items/protect4.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.3 type SOUNDTYPE_USINGPOWERUP recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //Power Armor activate { name "misc/power1.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_USINGPOWERUP recognition 0 string "" } soundinfo //Power Armor wearing off { name "misc/power2.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_USINGPOWERUP recognition 0 string "" } //========================== // Pickup sounds //========================== soundinfo //pickup Armor { name "misc/ar1_pkup.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPARMOR recognition 0 string "Body Armor" } soundinfo //pickup Armor Shard { name "misc/ar2_pkup.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPARMORSHARD recognition 0 string "Armor Shard" } soundinfo //pickup Power Shield { name "misc/ar3_pkup.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPPOWERUP recognition 0 string "Power Shield" } soundinfo //pickup Weapon { name "misc/w_pkup.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPWEAPON recognition 0 string "Weapon" } soundinfo //pickup Ammo { name "misc/am_pkup.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPAMMO recognition 0 string "Ammo" } soundinfo //pickup Powerup { name "items/pkup.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPPOWERUP recognition 0 string "Powerup" } soundinfo //pickup Small Health { name "items/s_health.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPHEALTH_S recognition 0 string "Health" } soundinfo //pickup Normal Health { name "items/n_health.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPHEALTH_N recognition 0 string "Health" } soundinfo //pickup Large Health { name "items/l_health.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPHEALTH_L recognition 0 string "Health" } soundinfo //pickup Mega Health { name "items/m_health.wav" volume 80.0 duration 0.2 type SOUNDTYPE_PICKUPHEALTH_M recognition 0 string "Health" } //=========================================================================== // // name: rnd.c // function: random strings // programmer: mr elusive (mrelusive@demigod.demon.nl) // last update: 1999-02-10 // tab size: 3 (real tabs) // notes: - //=========================================================================== #include "game.h" #define NEGATIVE \ "no",\ "nope",\ "no way",\ "no!",\ "hell no",\ "of course not",\ "i do not think so..",\ "homey don't play that",\ "sure -not!-",\ "no",\ "negative",\ "heck no!",\ "i think not",\ "no way jose",\ "no" #define AFFIRMATIVE \ "yes",\ "yep",\ "you bet",\ "uh-hu",\ "of course!",\ "you-betcha",\ "darn tootin",\ "affirmative",\ "10-4 good buddy!",\ "correct",\ "yeah",\ "that is right!",\ "you got it!",\ "sure",\ "precisely right",\ "that sounds right",\ "exactly!",\ "you know it!",\ "yeppers" #define NEUTRAL \ "what are you talking about?",\ "geez",\ "ick!",\ "wait a sec... what?",\ "i don't understand",\ "dunno",\ "not sure",\ "let me think",\ "hmm",\ ":-)",\ ":(",\ "what do you mean?",\ "am i supposed to tell you?",\ "how should i know",\ "i could tell you, but i would have to kill you",\ "i will never tell!",\ "i have no idea!",\ "do not ask me",\ "i am not gonna tell you!",\ "i know nothing about that!",\ "that information is top secret, sorry",\ "can't say",\ "search me!",\ "what?!",\ "hugh?",\ "i don't know that!",\ "sorry, dunno!",\ "i am clueless!",\ "i am too sleepy to think straight",\ "i dunno man",\ "that's for me to know and you to find out",\ "*confused*",\ "i am not knowing",\ "i really don't know",\ "no idea",\ "haven't the foggiest" #define RAMBLE \ ":-(",\ ":-)",\ "i am falling asleep",\ "i am getting sick.. ughh",\ "*vomit*",\ "i am bored",\ "i am really tired",\ "i hate life",\ "i just ask for belonging..",\ "what is everyone talking about?",\ "whoops",\ "yawn",\ "zzzzzzzzzzzz",\ "oh..",\ "no doubt!",\ "i am being repressed by de man!",\ "i see..",\ "i think i am getting a cold... ",\ "ahh",\ "anyone else smell smoke?",\ "anyone here actually have any intelligence?",\ "explain further",\ "facinating..",\ "go on..",\ "great..",\ "excellent",\ "hahaha",\ "hehehe",\ "shocking!",\ "grr...",\ "pfft! ",\ "*snif*",\ "*grin*",\ "hmm",\ "hmm..",\ "ho hum..",\ "la de dah..",\ "really",\ "school sucks",\ "so what shall we talk about?",\ "that's nice",\ "tsk tsk tsk",\ "*sigh*",\ "oh?",\ "aaaaaah" #define ITEM \ "nui",\ "pad",\ "car",\ "computer",\ "hard drive",\ "floppy drive",\ "telephone",\ "new car",\ "bigger house",\ "bucket of money",\ "gold coin",\ "dog",\ "post-it-note",\ "2x3 flat sawed board",\ "timex sinclair",\ "pressure gauge",\ "vhs copy of \"ishtar\"",\ "joystick",\ "bongo set",\ "can opener" #define PLACE \ "venus",\ "the 3rd planet from the sun",\ "the ghetto, man!",\ "the wetlands of florida",\ "endor",\ "the area behind fenway park\'s bleachers",\ "romulus",\ "vulcan",\ "alabama",\ "alaska",\ "birmingham",\ "newcastle",\ "nottingham",\ "deurne",\ "st.niklaas",\ "belgium",\ "france",\ "toulouse",\ "paris",\ "st.etienne",\ "benidorm",\ "blaness",\ "helmond",\ "twente",\ "spain",\ "barcelona",\ "madrid",\ "outer space",\ "eldorado",\ "caracas",\ "willemstad",\ "curacoa",\ "teteringen",\ "leiden",\ "in casa",\ "bonaire",\ "amsterdam",\ "arizona",\ "arkansas",\ "california",\ "hawaii",\ "greece",\ "the netherlands",\ "australia",\ "brisbane",\ "berlin",\ "42nd street",\ "zimbabwai",\ "lesotho",\ "the midwest",\ "new england",\ "london",\ "geneva",\ "rotterdam",\ "bonn",\ "dusseldorf",\ "maastricht",\ "oslo",\ "bergen",\ "sandness",\ "sweden",\ "norge",\ "jakarta",\ "jawa",\ "indonesia",\ "makassar",\ "tierra del fuego",\ "hazerswoude",\ "the high plains",\ "jellystone park",\ "the rocky mountains",\ "the pacific northwest",\ "the planet \"uranus\"",\ "zoetermeer" #define CLASS \ "math",\ "science",\ "geology",\ "calculus",\ "computer science",\ "operating systems",\ "ai",\ "history",\ "political science",\ "physics",\ "economics",\ "chemistry",\ "biology",\ "anthropology",\ "elementary education",\ "nuke engineering",\ "pascal",\ "electrical engineering",\ "sociology",\ "material science",\ "management",\ "accounting",\ "marketing" #define LIQUID \ "coke",\ "dr. pepper",\ "heineken",\ "amstel",\ "duvel",\ "palm beer",\ "brand",\ "hoegaarden",\ "wiekse witte",\ "bitter lemon",\ "oranjeboom",\ "grolsch",\ "water",\ "wild turkey",\ "johny walker",\ "rum",\ "malibu",\ "malibu-coke",\ "passoa",\ "passoa-oj",\ "kool-aid",\ "wine",\ "gasoline",\ "rain water",\ "iced tea",\ "guinness stout",\ "fosters",\ "sheaf stout",\ "pond water",\ "cognac",\ "vodka",\ "smirnoff",\ "mad dog",\ "thunderbird",\ "wine coolers" #define NUMBER \ "0",\ "a billion",\ "a trillion",\ "a million",\ "billions and billions of",\ "1",\ "2",\ "3",\ "4",\ "5",\ "6",\ "7",\ "8",\ "9",\ "10",\ "100",\ "1500",\ "13",\ "234",\ "845",\ "23",\ "42",\ "around 11",\ "like 2 or 3",\ "like 8 or 9",\ "a shitload of",\ "a buttload of",\ "a bunch of",\ "fifty",\ "sixty",\ "seventy",\ "eighty",\ "a hundred",\ "a billion",\ "a bizillion",\ "a trillion" #define PROFESSION \ "plumber",\ "brick layer",\ "drug dealer",\ "pre-school teacher",\ "mcdonald\'s manager",\ "hacker",\ "phreaker",\ "phone-man",\ "bank robber",\ "grease monkey",\ "programmer",\ "drinker",\ "engineer",\ "salesman",\ "sacker",\ "stocker",\ "prostitute",\ "preacher",\ "cook",\ "dancer",\ "dish washer",\ "accountant",\ "student",\ "system administrator",\ "pizza boy",\ "psychopath",\ "musician" #define NAME \ "netw1z",\ "sterling",\ "zorgo",\ "phz",\ "kl",\ "lod",\ "the fbi",\ "the cia",\ "the kgb",\ "president clinton",\ "nia",\ "ninjam",\ "pc",\ "scorpio",\ "sirlance",\ "stone temple pilots",\ "the phrack crew",\ "the mexicans",\ "the aussies",\ "the dutch",\ "the limeys",\ "the telephone company",\ "the cubans",\ "the iraqies",\ "the libyans",\ "darth vader",\ "eek the cat",\ "daisy cutter",\ "doc tari",\ "sprint security",\ "bo diddley squatt",\ "sharky the shark dog",\ "dan quayle",\ "demigod",\ "barbara bush",\ "saddam hussein" #define ONE_LINERS \ "\"breakfast sometime?\" \"sure.\" \"shall i call you, or just nudge you?\"",\ "\"define universe; give two examples.\" \"the perceived world; 1) mine, 2) yours.\"",\ "\"have you lived here all your life?\" \"oh, twice that long.\"",\ "...all the modern inconveniences..",\ "28.35 grams of prevention are worth 0.45359 kilograms of cure",\ "355/113 -- not the famous irrational number pi, but an incredible simulation",\ "a backscratcher will always find new itches",\ "a billion here, a billion there; soon you\'re talking real money",\ "a bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him",\ "a bird in the hand is safer than one overhead",\ "a bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose",\ "a boss with no humor is like a job that\'s no fun",\ "a cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education",\ "a celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness",\ "a clean tie attracts the soup of the day",\ "a committee is an animal with at least six legs, and no brain",\ "a conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking",\ "a couple of months in the lab can often save a couple of hours in the library",\ "a crisis is when you can\'t say, \"let\'s just forget the whole thing.\"",\ "a day without fusion is like a day without sunshine",\ "a day without orange juice is like a day without orange juice",\ "a day without sunshine is like night",\ "a dean is to a faculty as a hydrant is to a dog",\ "a fail-safe circuit will destroy others",\ "a fool and his money stabilize the economy",\ "a general leading the state department resembles a dragon commanding ducks",\ "a good scapegoat is hard to find",\ "a harp is a nude piano",\ "a helicopter is just a bunch of parts flying in close formation",\ "a home where the buffalo roam... is messy",\ "a homeowner\'s reach should exceed her grasp, or what\'s a weekend for?",\ "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance from mom",\ "a kid\'ll eat the middle of an oreo, eventually",\ "a king\'s castle is his home",\ "a lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction",\ "a lot of people are afraid of heights. not me, i\'m afraid of widths",\ "a man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in etruscan bonds",\ "a man who turns green has eschewed protein",\ "a man without a woman is like a fish without gills",\ "a motion to adjourn is always in order",\ "a pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants",\ "a penny saved has not been spent",\ "a penny saved is an economic breakthrough",\ "a penny saved is ridiculous",\ "a pessimist is a married optimist",\ "a poet who reads his verse in public might have other nasty habits",\ "a quarter ounce of chocolate equals four pounds of fat",\ "a renaissance man diffuses to refine himself",\ "a rolling stone gathers momentum",\ "a sadist is a masochist who follows the golden rule",\ "a sentence is worth a thousand words",\ "a sine curve goes off to infinity, or at least the end of the blackboard",\ "a sinking ship gathers no moss",\ "a small town that cannot support one lawyer can always support two",\ "a smith & wesson beats four aces",\ "a soft drink turneth away company",\ "a student who changes the course of history is probably taking an exam",\ "a successful american spends more supporting the government than a family",\ "a theorist right once in ten is a hero; an observer wrong that often is a bum",\ "a theory is better than its explanation",\ "a truly wise person never plays leapfrog with a unicorn",\ "a university without students is like an ointment without a fly",\ "a verbal contract isn\'t worth the paper its printed on",\ "a virtuoso is a musician with real high morals",\ "a waist is a terrible thing to mind",\ "a watched clock never boils",\ "a wedding is a funeral where a man smells his own flowers",\ "a young child is a noise with dirt on it",\ "abandon the search for truth; settle for a good fantasy",\ "about all some men accomplish in life is to send a son to harvard",\ "about the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog",\ "about when we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends",\ "absence makes the heart go wander",\ "absence makes the heart grow fonder... for someone else",\ "absolutum obsoletum. (if it works, it is out of date.)",\ "academy: a modern school where football is taught",\ "accident: when presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better",\ "according to the official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless",\ "acting: an art that consists of keeping the audience from coughing",\ "actors will happen in the best-regulated families",\ "admiration: our polite recognition of another\'s resemblance to ourselves",\ "adult: a person that has stopped growing at both ends but not in the middle",\ "adult: one old enough to know better",\ "adultery: putting yourself in someone else\'s position",\ "advanced design: upper management doesn\'t understand it",\ "adventure is a sign of incompetence",\ "after all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done",\ "after painting the town red, take a rest before applying a second coat",\ "afterism: a concise, clever statement you don\'t think of until too late",\ "afternoon very favorable for romance. try a single person for a change",\ "age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill",\ "aiming for the least common denominator sometimes causes division by zero",\ "air is water with holes in it",\ "air travel: breakfast in london, dinner in new york, luggage in brazil",\ "alcoholic: someone you don\'t like who drinks as much as you do",\ "aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall, aleph-null bottles of beer..",\ "alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth",\ "alimony is a splitting headache",\ "alimony is the high cost of leaving",\ "all generalizations are useless, including this one",\ "all i ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy",\ "all i want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power",\ "all my friends and i are crazy. that\'s the only thing that keeps us sane",\ "all new: parts not interchangeable with previous model",\ "all people are born alike -- except republicans and democrats",\ "all probabilities are really 50%. either a thing will happen or it won\'t",\ "all signs in metric for the next 20 miles",\ "all that glitters has a high refractive index",\ "all the good ones are taken",\ "all the men on my staff can type",\ "all things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door",\ "all trails have more uphill sections than they have downhill sections",\ "all true wisdom is found on t-shirts",\ "always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn\'t expect to be paid back",\ "always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn\'t work out",\ "always remember that you are unique... just like everyone else",\ "always take both skis off before hanging them up",\ "am i in charge here?... no, but i\'m full of ideas",\ "ambiguity: telling the truth when you don\'t mean to",\ "ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy",\ "amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then i forgot it",\ "amoebit: amoeba/rabbit cross; it can multiply and divide at the same time",\ "among economists, the real world is often a special case",\ "an apple a day keeps the doctor away... if it is aimed well",\ "an apple a day makes 365 apples a year",\ "an apple every eight hours keeps three doctors away",\ "an effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible",\ "an example of hard water is ice",\ "an idle mind is worth two in the bush",\ "an informed citizen panics more intelligently",\ "an object at rest will always be in the wrong place",\ "an object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction",\ "an unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys",\ "antonym: the opposite of the word you are trying to think of",\ "any country with \"democratic\" in the title isn\'t",\ "any landing you can walk away from is a good one",\ "any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way",\ "any smoothly functioning technology is indistinguishable from a \"rigged\" demo",\ "any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced",\ "any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours",\ "anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry",\ "anyone can admit they were wrong; the true test is admitting it to someone else",\ "anyone can make an omelet with eggs. the trick is to make one with none",\ "anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined",\ "anyone who makes an absolute statement is a fool",\ "anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening",\ "apart from the unknowns, everything is obvious",\ "appearances are not everything; it just looks like they are",\ "aquadextrous: able to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes",\ "archeology is the only profession where your future lies in ruins",\ "arguments with furniture are rarely productive",\ "arithmetic: counting to twenty without taking off your shoes",\ "art is anything you can get away with",\ "artery: study of paintings",\ "as god is my witness, andy, i thought that turkeys could fly",\ "as long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?",\ "ask not for whom the bell tolls, and pay only station-to-station rates",\ "at these prices, i lose money -- but i make it up in volume",\ "atheists are beyond belief",\ "atheists are people with no invisible means of support",\ "auditors always reject expense accounts with a bottom line divisible by five",\ "authority: a person who can tell you more than you really care to know",\ "automobile: a four-wheeled vehicle that runs up hills and down pedestrians",\ "babies can\'t walk because their legs aren\'t long enough to reach the ground",\ "bachelor: a guy who is footloose and fiancee-free",\ "bachelor: a man who never made the same mistake once",\ "bachelor: a selfish guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce",\ "ban the bomb. save the world for conventional warfare",\ "banectomy: the removal of bruises on a banana",\ "barium: what doctors do when treatment fails",\ "baseball is to football as beethoven is to rap",\ "be a better psychiatrist and the world will beat a psychopath to your door",\ "be careful of reading health books; you might die of a misprint",\ "be content with what you\'ve got, but be sure you\'ve got plenty",\ "beam me up, scotty. there\'s no intelligent life down here",\ "begathon: a multi-day event on public television, used to raise money",\ "behaviorism is the art of pulling habits out of rats",\ "behold the warranty: the bold print giveth, and the fine print taketh away",\ "being a good communicator means people find out what\'s really wrong with you",\ "being a woman is quite difficult since it consists mainly of dealing with men",\ "being popular is important. otherwise people might not like you",\ "benjamin franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards",\ "best gift for the person who has everything: a burglar alarm",\ "between two evils, i always pick the one i never tried before",\ "beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie",\ "beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose",\ "bigamy is having one spouse too many. monogamy is the same",\ "biology grows on you",\ "bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on saturday night",\ "blessed are the meek for they shall inhibit the earth",\ "blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt",\ "blessed are they that run around in circles, for they shall be known as wheels",\ "bore: a person who talks when you wish him to listen",\ "bore: he who talks so much about himself that you can\'t talk about yourself",\ "bore: wraps up a two-minute idea in a two-hour vocabulary",\ "brad, where tad had had \"had had\", had had \"had\". \"had had\" had had me glad",\ "brain: the apparatus with which we think that we think",\ "bride: a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her",\ "brigands ask for your money or your life; spouses require them both",\ "broad-mindedness: the result of flattening high-mindedness out",\ "budget: a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward",\ "bureaucracy: a method of transforming energy into solid waste",\ "bureaucrat: a person who cuts red tape sideways",\ "bureaucrat: a politician with tenure",\ "business will be either better or worse",\ "but enough about me. let\'s talk about you. what do you think of me?",\ "but officer, i stopped for the last one, and it was green!",\ "by the time you have the right answers, no one is asking you questions",\ "calling a person a runner-up is a polite way of saying they lost",\ "can you think of another word for \"synonym\"?",\ "capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win",\ "cauterize: made eye contact with a woman",\ "charity: a thing that begins at home and usually stays there",\ "charm: a way of getting a \"yes\" -- without having askwd any clear question",\ "chastity: the most unnatural of the sexual perversions",\ "cheap: much less expensive than ones selling for up to twice as much",\ "chemicals: noxious substances from which modern foods are made",\ "children act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners",\ "cinemuck: popcorn, soda, and candy that covers the floors of movie theaters",\ "circle: a line that meets its other end without ending",\ "cloning is the sincerest form of flattery",\ "cogito ergo spud (i think, therefore i yam)",\ "college: the fountains of knowledge, where everyone goes to drink",\ "colorless green ideas sleep furiously",\ "comedy is simply a funny way of being serious",\ "committee: a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours",\ "committee: the unwilling, selected from the unfit, to do the unnecessary",\ "common sense: the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18",\ "concept: any \"idea\" for which an outside consultant bills more than $25,000",\ "confidence: the feeling you have before you understand the situation",\ "confound those who have said our remarks before us",\ "confucius say too much",\ "congress is not the sole suppository of wisdom",\ "conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends",\ "conscience: the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking",\ "conscience: the thing that hurts when everything else feels great",\ "conscious is being aware of something; conscience is wishing you weren\'t",\ "conservative: a liberal who has just been mugged",\ "conservative: a person who believes nothing should be done for the first time",\ "conservative: one who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run",\ "consider what might be fertilizing the greener grass across the fence",\ "consultant: someone who knowns 101 ways to make love, but can\'t get a date",\ "consultation: medical term meaning \"to share the wealth.\"",\ "continental life. why do you ask?",\ "contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion",\ "could you be a poster child for retroactive birth control?",\ "courage: two cannibals having oral sex",\ "coward: one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs",\ "crazee edeee, his prices are insane!!!",\ "crime does not pay... as well as politics",\ "cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country",\ "cynic: a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern",\ "cynic: a person who tells you the truth about your own motives",\ "dare to be average",\ "dark dirt is attracted to light objects, and dark dirt to light objects",\ "death and taxes are inevitable; at least death doesn\'t get worse every year",\ "death has been proven to be 99% fatal to laboratory rats",\ "death is god\'s way of telling you not to be such a wise guy",\ "death is life\'s way of telling you you\'ve been fired",\ "death is the greatest kick of all. that\'s why they save it for last",\ "death: to stop sinning suddenly",\ "deliberation: examining one\'s bread to determine which side it is buttered on",\ "democracy: the worship of jackals by jackasses",\ "dentists are incapable of asking questions that need a simple yes or no answer",\ "design simplicity: developed on a shoe-string budget",\ "dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines on them and makes them perspire",\ "dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off",\ "diplomacy: the art of letting someone else have your way",\ "diplomacy: the art of saying \"nice doggy\" until you can find a rock",\ "diplomat: a man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat",\ "disco is to music what etch-a-sketch is to art",\ "distinctive: a different color or shape than our competitors",\ "divorce: having your genitals torn off through your wallet",\ "do married people live longer, or does it just seem that way?",\ "do not merely believe in miracles; rely on them",\ "do not underestimate the power of the force",\ "do you have redeeming social value?",\ "does the name \"pavlov\" ring a bell?",\ "don\'t be fooled by his twinkling eyes; it\'s the sun shining between his ears",\ "don\'t be humble... you\'re not that great",\ "don\'t create a problem for which you do not have the answer",\ "don\'t eat the yellow snow",\ "don\'t force it, get a larger hammer",\ "don\'t get even -- get odd!",\ "don\'t get stuck in a closet; wear yourself out",\ "don\'t give someone a piece of your mind unless you can afford it",\ "don\'t lend people money... it gives them amnesia",\ "don\'t marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper",\ "don\'t mind him; politicians always sound like that",\ "don\'t say yes until i finish talking",\ "don\'t steal. the government hates competition",\ "don\'t sweat the petty things -- just pet the sweaty things",\ "don\'t take life too seriously; you won\'t get out of it alive",\ "don\'t tax you, don\'t tax me, tax that fellow behind the tree",\ "don\'t undertake vast projects with half-vast ideas",\ "don\'t use no double negatives, not never",\ "don\'t worry; the brontosaurus is slow, stupid, and placid",\ "don\'t you have anything more useful you could be doing?",\ "down with the categorical imperative!",\ "drive carefully. we are overstocked. -- sign in junkyard",\ "driving in the snow is a spectator sport",\ "drug: a substance that, when injected into a rat, produces a scientific paper",\ "drugs are the scenic route to nowhere",\ "ducks? what ducks??",\ "due to a mixup in urology, orange juice will not be served this morning",\ "dying is easy. comedy is difficult",\ "early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy and wealthy and dead",\ "earth destroyed by solar flare -- film at eleven",\ "earth is a great funhouse without the fun",\ "easiest way to figure the cost of living: take your income and add ten percent",\ "eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you that day",\ "eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow it might be illegal",\ "education helps earning capacity. ask any college professor",\ "eeny, meeny, jelly beanie, the spirits are about to speak..",\ "egotism: doing a crossword puzzle with a pen",\ "eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average drivers",\ "either i\'m dead or my watch has stopped",\ "either that wallpaper goes, or i do",\ "elbonics: two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater",\ "elections come and go, but politics are always with us",\ "electricity comes from electrons; morality comes from morons",\ "eliminate government waste, no matter how much it costs!",\ "eloquence is logic on fire",\ "emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. especially if they are dead",\ "engineers... they love to change things",\ "enjoy life; you could have been a barnacle",\ "eschew obfuscation",\ "eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it",\ "every cloud has a silver lining; you should have sold it, and bought titanium",\ "every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it",\ "every silver lining has a cloud around it",\ "everybody lies, but it doesn\'t matter since nobody listens",\ "everyone else my age is an adult, whereas i am merely in disguise",\ "everyone is a genius. it is just that some people are too stupid to realize it",\ "everyone needs belief in something. i believe i\'ll have another beer",\ "everything in moderation, including moderation",\ "everything is actually everything else, just recycled",\ "everything is always done for the wrong reasons",\ "everything put together falls apart sooner or later",\ "everything worthwhile is mandatory, prohibited, or taxed",\ "everything you know is wrong, but you can be straightened out",\ "excellent day to have a rotten day",\ "exceptions always outnumber rules",\ "exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget",\ "exclusive: we are the only ones who have the documentation",\ "executive ability: deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work",\ "exercise extends your life ten years, but you spend 15 of them doing it",\ "experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined",\ "experience is something you don\'t get until just after you need it",\ "experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones",\ "experience is what you get when you were expecting something else",\ "experiments should be reproducible. they should all fail the same way",\ "expert: avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy",\ "f u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd",\ "familiarity breeds attempt",\ "familiarity breeds children",\ "famous last words: don\'t worry, i can handle it",\ "fanatic: someone who, having lost sight of his goal, redoubles his efforts",\ "fashion: a form of ugliness so intolerable that it changes every six months",\ "fast, cheap, good: choose any two",\ "federal reserve: a reserve where federal employees hunt wild game",\ "fenderberg: deposit that forms on the inside of a car fender after a snowstorm",\ "fidelity: a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed",\ "field tested: manufacturing doesn\'t have a test system",\ "fill what\'s empty; empty what\'s full; scratch where it itches",\ "fine day for friends. so-so day for you",\ "five is a sufficiently close approximation to infinity",\ "flying is the second greatest experience known to man. landing is the first",\ "foolproof operation: no provision for adjustment",\ "fools rush in -- and get the best seats in the house",\ "football, like religion, brings out the best in people",\ "for a good time, call 555-3100",\ "for adult education, nothing beats children",\ "for back-country preparedness, \"what if\" weighs about 20 pounds",\ "for every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction",\ "for every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism",\ "for every action, there is an equal and opposite government program",\ "for every knee, there is a jerk",\ "for some reason, this statement reminds everyone of marvin Zelkowitz",\ "for those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like",\ "form follows function, and often obliterates it",\ "fortune favors the lucky",\ "fossil flowers come from the petrified florist",\ "four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy..",\ "four wheel drive: lets you get more stuck, further from help",\ "freedom is just chaos, with better lighting",\ "friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them",\ "friends: people who know you well, but like you anyway",\ "furbling: walking a maze of ropes even when you are the only person in line",\ "genderplex: trying to determine from the cutesy pictures which restroom to use",\ "generally you don\'t see that kind of behavior in a major appliance",\ "genetics: why you look like your father, or if you don\'t, why you should",\ "genius is the infinite capacity for picking brains",\ "genius: a chemist who discovers a laundry additive that rhymes with \"bright\"",\ "gentleman: knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t",\ "give a skeptic an inch and he\'ll measure it",\ "give me a lever long enough, and a place to stand, and i\'ll break my lever",\ "give me a sleeping pill and tell me your troubles",\ "give me chastity and continence, but not just now",\ "give your very best today. heaven knows it is little enough",\ "giving away baby clothes and furniture is the major cause of pregnancy",\ "gleemites: petrified deposits of toothpaste found in sinks",\ "go away. i\'m all right",\ "go directly to jail. do not pass go, do not collect $200",\ "go to heaven for the climate but hell for the company",\ "god don\'t make mistakes. that\'s how he got to be god",\ "god gives us relatives; thank goodness we can chose our friends",\ "god is a polythiest",\ "god is not dead. he is alive and autographing bibles at cody\'s!",\ "god is not dead. he is alive and working on a much less ambitious project",\ "god is not dead. he just couldn\'t find a parking place",\ "god made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through",\ "god made the world in six days, and was arrested on the seventh",\ "god, i ask for patience -- and i want it right now!",\ "going the speed of light is bad for your age",\ "good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example",\ "good day for a change of scene. repaper the bedroom wall",\ "good sopranos and tenors have resonance -- where others have brains",\ "good-bye. i am leaving because i am bored",\ "government expands to absorb all available revenue and then some",\ "graft: an illegal means of uniting trees to make money",\ "grasshoppotamus: a creature that can leap to tremendous heights... once",\ "gravity: what you get when you eat too much and too fast",\ "great minds run in great circles",\ "group iq: lowest iq of any member divided by the number of people in the group",\ "grub first, then ethics",\ "had there been an actual emergency, you would no longer be here",\ "hailing frequencies open, captain",\ "handel was half german, half italian, and half english. he was rather large",\ "hangover: the wrath of grapes",\ "happiness is having a scratch for every itch",\ "hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?",\ "have an adequate day",\ "having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain",\ "having children will turn you into your parents",\ "he has the heart of a little child... it\'s in a jar on his desk",\ "he is considered a most graceful speaker who can say nothing in the most words",\ "he is no lawyer who cannot take two sides",\ "he was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes",\ "he who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead",\ "he who dies with the most toys, wins",\ "he who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last",\ "he who hesitates is a damned fool",\ "he who hesitates is probably right",\ "he who invents adages to peruse takes along rowboat when going on cruise",\ "he who is content with his lot probably has a lot",\ "he who is still laughing hasn\'t yet heard the bad news",\ "he who laughs last didn\'t get the joke",\ "he who shouts the loudest has the floor",\ "he who speak with forked tongue, not need chopsticks",\ "he who spends a storm beneath a tree, takes life with a grain of tnt",\ "health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die",\ "heat expands: in the summer the days are longer",\ "heating with wood, you get warm twice: once chopping it, and once stacking it",\ "heineken uncertainty principle: never sure how many beers you had last night",\ "heisenberg might have been here",\ "help stamp out and abolish redundancy",\ "help! my typewriter is broken!",\ "history chronicles the small portion of the past that was suitable for print",\ "history does not repeat itself; historians merely repeat each other",\ "honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense",\ "honeymoon: a short period of doting between dating and debting",\ "honk if you love peace and quiet",\ "hospitality: making your guests feel at home, even though you wish they were",\ "how can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese?",\ "how come wrong numbers are never busy?",\ "how do they get all those little metal bits on a zipper to line up so well?",\ "how do you make an elephant float? two scoops of elephant and some rootbeer..",\ "how long is a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on",\ "how long should a man\'s legs be? long enough to reach the ground",\ "how many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? all you can afford",\ "how many weeks are there in a light year?",\ "how much sin can you get away with and still go to heaven?",\ "how sharper than a hound\'s tooth it is to have a thankless serpent",\ "how to regain your virginity: reverse the process until it returns",\ "how wonderful opera would be if there were no singers",\ "human beings were created by water to transport it uphill",\ "humor is the best antidote to reality",\ "i am a creationist; i refuse to believe that i could have evolved from humans",\ "i am a great housekeeper. i get divorced. i keep the house",\ "i am a hollywood writer, so i put on a sports jacket and take off my brain",\ "i am a libra. libras don\'t believe in astrology",\ "i am dying beyond my means",\ "i am going to live forever, or die trying!",\ "i am not a crook",\ "i am not a lovable man",\ "i am not as dumb as you look",\ "i am not cynical, just experienced",\ "i am prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life",\ "i am really enjoying not talking to you, so let\'s not talk again real soon, ok?",\ "i belong to no organized party. i am a democrat",\ "i bet you have never seen a plumber bite his nails",\ "i came to mit to get an education for myself and a diploma for my mother",\ "i can relate to that",\ "i can\'t give you brains, but i can give you a diploma",\ "i could not possibly fail to disagree with you less",\ "i do desire we may be better strangers",\ "i don\'t have any solution, but i certainly admire the problem",\ "i doubt, therefore i might be",\ "i generally avoid temptation unless i can\'t resist it",\ "i hate quotations",\ "i have already told you more than i know",\ "i have been in more laps than a napkin",\ "i have found that the best direction for a hot tub to face is up",\ "i have had a perfectly wonderful evening. but this wasn\'t it",\ "i have heard about people like me, but i never made the connection",\ "i have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer",\ "i have the simplest tastes. i am always satisfied with the best",\ "i have ways of making money that you know nothing of",\ "i just need enough to tide me over until i need more",\ "i know on which side my bread is buttered",\ "i like work; it fascinates me. i can sit and look at it for hours",\ "i love mankind... it\'s people i hate",\ "i love my job; it\'s the work i can\'t stand",\ "i may not be the world\'s greatest lover, but number seven\'s not bad",\ "i may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent",\ "i must follow the people. am i not their leader?",\ "i must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini",\ "i never forget a face, but in your case i\'ll make an exception",\ "i never made a mistake in my life. i thought i did once, but i was wrong",\ "i often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation",\ "i promise we would only loose ten to twenty million tops!",\ "i put instant coffee in a microwave, and almost went back in time",\ "i really had to act; \'cause i didn\'t have any lines",\ "i saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second",\ "i shot an arrow into the air and it stuck",\ "i spilled spot remover on my dog. now he\'s gone",\ "i suggest a new strategy, artoo: let the wookee win",\ "i think sex is better than logic, but i can\'t prove it",\ "i think that i shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree",\ "i think we are all bozos on this bus",\ "i used to be lost in the shuffle. now i just shuffle along with the lost",\ "i used to be snow white, but i drifted",\ "i used to get high on life, but lately i have built up a resistance",\ "i used to think i was indecisive, but now i am not so sure",\ "i want to achieve immortality through not dying",\ "i will always love the false image i had of you",\ "i will meet you at the corner of walk and don\'t walk",\ "i will never lie to you",\ "i worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty",\ "i would give my right arm to be ambidextrous",\ "i would have made a good pope",\ "i would like to help you out. which way did you come in?",\ "i would like to lick apricot brandy out of your navel",\ "i would never join any club that would have the likes of me as a member",\ "i\'d like to meet the person who invented sex, and see what he\'s working on now",\ "i\'d rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy",\ "i\'ll race you to china. you can have a head start. ready, set, go!",\ "i\'m in pittsburgh. why am i here?",\ "i\'m not afraid to die. i just don\'t want to be there when it happens",\ "i\'m not going deaf. i\'m ignoring you",\ "i\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep i am",\ "i\'m pretty good with bs but i love listening to an expert. keep talking",\ "ice cream cures all ills. temporarily",\ "idiot box: part of an envelope that tells a person where to place the stamp",\ "if a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points",\ "if a thing\'s worth doing, it is worth doing badly",\ "if all the world\'s a stage, i want to operate the trap door",\ "if all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement",\ "if an item is advertised as \"under $50\", you can bet it\'s not $19.95",\ "if at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment",\ "if at first you don\'t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried",\ "if at first you don\'t succeed, quit; don\'t be a nut about success",\ "if at first you don\'t succeed, redefine success",\ "if at first you don\'t succeed, you probably didn\'t really care anyway",\ "if at first you don\'t succeed, you\'re doing about average",\ "if at first you don\'t succeed, your successor will",\ "if at first you don\'t suck seed, suck harder",\ "if conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence",\ "if enough data is collected, anything can be proven by statistical methods",\ "if entropy is increasing, where is it coming from?",\ "if flattery gets you nowhere, try bribery",\ "if god had meant for us to be naked, we would have been born that way",\ "if god had wanted you to go around nude, he would have given you bigger hands",\ "if god is perfect, why did he create discontinuous functions?",\ "if god is so great, how come everything he makes dies?",\ "if god lived on earth, people would knock out all his windows. - yiddish proverb",\ "if i could drop dead right now, i\'d be the happiest man alive",\ "if i had any humility i would be perfect",\ "if i owned texas and hell, i would rent out texas and live in hell",\ "if i told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?",\ "if ignorance is bliss, why aren\'t there more happy people?",\ "if in doubt, mumble",\ "if it ain\'t damp, it ain\'t camp",\ "if it is tuesday, this must be someone else\'s fortune",\ "if it is worth doing, it is worth doing for money",\ "if it jams, force it. if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway",\ "if it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven",\ "if it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them",\ "if it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, i wouldn\'t get any exercise at all",\ "if it wasn\'t for newton, we wouldn\'t have to eat bruised apples",\ "if it were truly the thought that counted, more women would be pregnant",\ "if little else, the brain is an educational toy",\ "if murphy\'s law can go wrong, it will",\ "if one hundred people do a foolish thing, one will become injured",\ "if only i could be respected without having to be respectable",\ "if opportunity came disguised as temptation, one knock would be enough",\ "if parents would only realize how they bore their children",\ "if reproducibility might be a problem, conduct the test only once",\ "if some people didn\'t tell you, you\'d never know they\'d been away on vacation",\ "if sound can\'t travel in a vacuum, why are vacuum cleaners so noisy?",\ "if the probability of success is not almost one, it is damn near zero",\ "if the ship is not sinking, the rats must be the ones not leaving",\ "if the shoe fits, buy the other one too",\ "if the shoe fits, it\'s ugly",\ "if there is light at the end of the tunnel... order more tunnel",\ "if there is no god, who pops up the next kleenex?",\ "if this saying did not exist, somebody would have invented it",\ "if time heals all wounds, how come bellybuttons don\'t fill in?",\ "if today is the first day of the rest of your life, what was yesterday?",\ "if we all work together we can totally disrupt the system",\ "if we knew what the hell we were doing, then it wouldn\'t be research",\ "if you are a fatalist, what can you do about it?",\ "if you are asked to join a parade, don\'t march behind the elephants",\ "if you are horny, it\'s lust, but if your partner\'s horny, it\'s affection",\ "if you are not very clever you should be conciliatory",\ "if you are seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it",\ "if you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars",\ "if you can lead it to water and force it to drink, it isn\'t a horse",\ "if you can survive death, you can probably survive anything",\ "if you can\'t be replaced, you can\'t be promoted",\ "if you can\'t dazzle \'em with brilliance, baffle \'em with bullshit",\ "if you can\'t find your glasses, it\'s probably because you don\'t have them on",\ "if you can\'t say anything nice, you probably don\'t have many friends",\ "if you cannot convince them, confuse them",\ "if you cannot hope for order, withdraw with style from the chaos",\ "if you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it",\ "if you do not change direction you are likely to end up where you are headed",\ "if you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again",\ "if you don\'t care where you are, then you aren\'t lost",\ "if you don\'t go to other men\'s funerals they won\'t go to yours",\ "if you don\'t know what you\'re doing, do it neatly",\ "if you don\'t say anything, you won\'t be called on to repeat it",\ "if you explain so clearly that no one can possibly misunderstand, someone will",\ "if you have half a mind to watch tv, that is enough",\ "if you have kleptomania, you can always take something for it",\ "if you have to ask how much it is, you can\'t afford it",\ "if you have to travel on the titanic, why not go first class?",\ "if you liked earth, you will love heaven",\ "if you live in a country run by committee, be on the committee",\ "if you look like your passport photo, it\'s time to go home",\ "if you look like your passport photo, you aren\'t well enough to travel",\ "if you mess with a thing long enough, it will break",\ "if you put it off long enough, it might go away",\ "if you think before you speak, the other guy gets his joke in first",\ "if you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we\'ve solved it",\ "if you want to know how old a man is, ask his brother-in-law",\ "if you want to put yourself on the map, publish your own map",\ "if you were to ask me this question, what would my answer be?",\ "if you\'re not part of the solution, you\'re part of the precipitate",\ "if you\'ve seen one redwood, you\'ve seen them all",\ "if your parents didn\'t have any children, neither will you",\ "ignorance: when you don\'t know anything, and someone else finds out",\ "ignore previous fortune",\ "ill-bred children always display their pest manners",\ "illiterate? write for free help",\ "immigration is the sincerest form of flattery",\ "imports are ports very far inland",\ "in 1869 the waffle iron was invented for people who had wrinkled waffles",\ "in a ham and egg breakfast, the chicken was involved, but the pig was committed",\ "in a modern household, the only things we have to wash by hand are children",\ "in america, it is not how much an item costs, it is how much you save",\ "in an orderly world, there is always a place for the disorderly",\ "in english, every word can be verbed",\ "in lake wobegon, all the children are above average",\ "in marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy",\ "in matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved",\ "in order to get a loan you must first prove you don\'t need it",\ "in process: so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is almost hopeless",\ "in the first half of our life we learn habits that shorten the second half",\ "in this world, truth can wait; she is used to it",\ "ingrate: bites the hand that feeds him, and then complains of indigestion",\ "insanity is inherited; you get it from your kids!",\ "instant sex will never be better than the kind you have to peel and cook",\ "institute: an archaic school where football is not taught",\ "interchangeable parts won\'t",\ "irrationality is the square root of all evil",\ "irs: income reduction service",\ "is it time for lunch yet?",\ "is there life before death?",\ "is this really happening?",\ "it ain\'t loafing unless they can prove it",\ "it does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations",\ "it doesn\'t matter whether you win or los",\ "it is bad luck to be superstitious",\ "it is better for civilization to go down the drain than to come up it",\ "it is better to be on penicillin than never to have loved at all",\ "it is better to be on the ground wishing you were flying, than vice versa",\ "it is better to burn out than to fade away",\ "it is better to give than to lend, and it costs about the same",\ "it is better to have a positive wasserman than never to have loved at all",\ "it is better to have loved and los",\ "it is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost",\ "it is better to light one candle than to torch a wax museum with a flamethrower",\ "it is better to remain childless than to father an orphan",\ "it is better to wear out than to rust out",\ "it is dangerous to name your children before you know how many you will have",\ "it is difficult to legislate morality in the absence of moral legislators",\ "it is difficult to soar with eagles when you work with turkeys",\ "it is easier to take it apart than to put it back together",\ "it is kind of fun to do the impossible",\ "it is later than you think",\ "it is more than magnificen",\ "it is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem",\ "it is not a good omen when goldfish commit suicide",\ "it is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one",\ "it is not camelot, but it\'s not cleveland, either",\ "it is not that you and i are so clever, but that the others are such fools",\ "it is so soon that i am done for, i wonder what i was begun for",\ "it now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father",\ "it seems to make an auto driver mad if she misses you",\ "it takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech",\ "it was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead",\ "it was a brave man that ate the first oyster",\ "it was such a beautiful day i decided to stay in bed",\ "it works better if you plug it in",\ "it would be nice to be sure of anything the way some people are of everything",\ "it would take a miracle to get you out of casablanca",\ "it\'s a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word",\ "it\'s a small world, but i wouldn\'t want to paint it",\ "it\'s hard to get ivory in africa, but in alabama the tuscaloosa",\ "it\'s hard to soar like an eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys",\ "it\'s hell to work for a nervous boss, especially if you are why he\'s nervous!",\ "it\'s not easy being green",\ "it\'s not hard to meet expenses; they are everywhere",\ "it\'s not whether you win or lose, it\'s how you look playing the game",\ "jesus saves; moses invests; but only buddha pays dividends",\ "job placement: telling your boss what he can do with your job",\ "journalism is literature in a hurry",\ "journalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you are at it",\ "jury: twelve men and women trying to decide which party has the best lawyer",\ "just because you are not paranoid doesn\'t mean they are not out to get you",\ "just give alice some pencils and she will stay busy for hours",\ "just when you get going, someone injects a dose of reality with a large needle",\ "justice: a decision in your favor",\ "keep a very firm grasp on reality, so you can strangle it at any time",\ "keep america beautiful. swallow your beer cans",\ "keep stress out of your life. give it to others instead",\ "keep the pointy end forward and the dirty side down",\ "klatu barada nikto",\ "klein bottle for ren",\ "kleptomaniac: a rich thief",\ "knocked; you weren\'t in",\ "know thyself-- but don\'t tell anyone",\ "know what i hate most? rhetorical questions",\ "krogt: the metallic silver coating found on fast-food game cards",\ "lactomangulation: abusing the \"open here\" spout on a milk carton",\ "laugh at your problems; everybody else does",\ "laugh, and the world ignores you. crying doesn\'t help either",\ "lead me not into temptation. i can find it myself",\ "learning at some schools is like drinking from a firehose",\ "let him who takes the plunge remember to return it by tuesday",\ "let not the sands of time get in your lunch",\ "liberal: a conservative who has just been arrested",\ "liberal: someone too poor to be a capitalist and too rich to be a communist",\ "lie: a very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one discovered to date",\ "life -- love it or leave it",\ "life begins at the centerfold and expands outward",\ "life is a game of bridg-- and you have just been finessed",\ "life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease",\ "life is complex. it has real and imaginary parts",\ "life is difficult because it is non-linear",\ "life is fraught with opportunities to keep your mouth shut",\ "life is like a fountain... i will tell you how when i figure it out",\ "life is like a maze in which you try to avoid the exit",\ "life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it",\ "life is like an analogy",\ "life is not for everyone",\ "life is uncertain, so eat dessert first",\ "life is wasted on the living",\ "life might have no meaning, or worse, it might have a meaning you don\'t like",\ "life without caffeine is stimulating enough",\ "life: a brief interlude between nothingness and eternity",\ "little things come in small packages",\ "live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse",\ "living on earth includes an annual free trip around the sun",\ "living your life is so difficult, it has never been attempted before",\ "logic is a little bird, sitting in a tree, that smells awful",\ "logic is a means of confidently being wrong",\ "logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence",\ "losing your driver\'s license is just god\'s way of saying \"booga, booga!\"",\ "love does not make the world go around, just up and down a bit",\ "love is being stupid together",\ "love is grand... divorce is twenty grand",\ "love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence",\ "love means having to say you\'re sorry every five minutes",\ "love means nothing to a tennis player",\ "love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose thy neighborhood",\ "love thy neighbor: tune thy piano",\ "love your enemies. it will make them crazy",\ "love: an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage",\ "love: the only game that is not called on account of darkness",\ "love: the warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs",\ "lsd melts in your mind, not in your hand",\ "lsd soaks up 47 times its own weight in excess reality",\ "machines have less problems. i\'d like to be a machine",\ "magnocartic: an automobile that when left unattended attracts shopping carts",\ "maintain thy airspeed, lest the ground rise up and smite thee",\ "majority: that quality that distinguishes a crime from a law",\ "make a firm decision now... you can always change it later",\ "male zebras have white stripes, but female zebras have black stripes",\ "man has made his bedlam; let him lie in it",\ "man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain",\ "man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to",\ "man who arrives at party two hours late finds he has been beaten to the punch",\ "man who falls in blast furnace is certain to feel overwrought",\ "man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self",\ "mankind has never reconciled itself to the ten commandments",\ "mankind... infests the whole habitable earth and canada",\ "many a family tree needs trimming",\ "many are called, but few are at their desks",\ "many are cold, but few are frozen",\ "many quite distinguished people have bodies similar to yours",\ "marriage is a rest period between romances",\ "marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering",\ "marriage is a trip between niagra falls and reno",\ "marriage is an institution -- but who wants to live in one?",\ "marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it",\ "marriage is not a word; it is a sentence",\ "marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly",\ "marriage is the sole cause of divorce",\ "marriages are made in heaven and consummated on earth",\ "martinus hubertus bernardus kok is geen halfgod, maar een halfzot",\ "math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated",\ "mathematicians are willing to assume anything -- except responsibility",\ "mathematicians take it to the limit",\ "matrimony is the root of all evil",\ "matter cannot be created or destroyed; nor can it be returned without a receipt",\ "matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value",\ "maturity is a high price to pay for growing up",\ "may you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse",\ "may you have many friends and very few living enemies",\ "maybe you can\'t buy happiness, but these days you can certainly charge it",\ "measure with a micrometer; mark with chalk; cut with an axe",\ "meeting: a gathering where the minutes are kept and the hours lost",\ "men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples",\ "michelangelo would have made better time with a roller",\ "microwaves frizz your heir",\ "military intelligence is a contradiction in terms",\ "military justice is to justice what military music is to music",\ "millihelen: the amount of beauty required to launch one ship",\ "miracles are great, but they are so damned unpredictable",\ "moderation is a fatal thing. nothing succeeds like excess",\ "modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings",\ "modesty is a vastly overrated virtue",\ "modesty: being comfortable that others will discover your greatness",\ "momentum: what you give a person when they are going away",\ "money can\'t buy happiness, but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours",\ "money can\'t buy happiness, but it lets you be miserable in comfort",\ "money does tal-- it says goodbye",\ "money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons",\ "money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots",\ "monotony: the practice of having only one spouse at a time",\ "most general statements are false, including this one",\ "most people get lost in thought because it is unfamiliar territory",\ "mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like",\ "mother is the invention of necessity",\ "mother told me to be good, but she has been wrong before",\ "mountain climbers rope together to prevent the sensible ones from going home",\ "mountain range: a cooking stove used at high altitudes",\ "mummy: an egyptian who was pressed for time",\ "music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel",\ "my family history begins with me, but yours ends with you",\ "my life has a superb cast but i can\'t figure out the plot",\ "my opinions might have changed, but not the fact that i am right",\ "my own business always bores me to death; i prefer other people\'s",\ "my theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed",\ "mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game",\ "narcolepulacy: the contagious action of yawning",\ "necessity is a mother",\ "neckties strangle clear thinking",\ "neutrinos have bad breadth",\ "never do today what you can put off until tomorrow",\ "never eat anything bigger than your head",\ "never eat more than you can lift",\ "never give an inch!",\ "never have any children, only grandchildren",\ "never hit a man with glasses. hit him with a baseball bat",\ "never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting",\ "never laugh at live dragons",\ "never offend with style when you can offend with substance",\ "never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together",\ "never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself",\ "never verb your nouns",\ "new: different color from previous model",\ "nice guys don\'t finish nice",\ "nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot",\ "nine out of ten people think they are above average. the rest are in therapy",\ "no guts, no glory",\ "no maintenance: impossible to fix",\ "no man is an island, but some of us are long peninsulas",\ "no man would listen to you talk if he didn\'t know it was his turn next",\ "no matter what goes wrong, there\'s always someone who knew it would",\ "no matter what results are expected, someone is always willing to fake it",\ "no one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish",\ "no one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid",\ "no prizes for predicting rain. prizes only awarded for building arks",\ "no problem is so large it can\'t be fit in somewhere",\ "nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest",\ "nobody ever has a reservation on a plane that leaves from gate 1",\ "nobody expects the spanish inquisition!",\ "nobody knows the trouble i have been",\ "nobody wants constructive criticism. we can barely handle constructive praise",\ "nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong",\ "nonsense. space is blue and birds fly through it",\ "nostalgia just isn\'t what it used to be",\ "not all men who drink are poets. some of us drink because we are not poets",\ "nothing can be done in one trip",\ "nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it is time to get up",\ "nothing increases your golf score like witnesses",\ "nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come",\ "nothing is ever a total loss; it can always serve as a bad example",\ "nothing is finished until the paperwork is done",\ "nothing is impossible or impassable if you have enough nails",\ "nothing recedes like success",\ "nothing so needs reforming as other people\'s habits",\ "nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee",\ "now and then an innocent person is sent to the legislature",\ "now it\'s time to say goodbye, to all our company... m-i-c, k-e-y, m-o-u-s-e",\ "nuclear war would really set back cable",\ "nudists are people who wear one-button suits",\ "nugloo: single continuous eyebrow that covers the entire forehead",\ "of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable",\ "of course i am happily married -- she\'s happy, and i\'m married",\ "often it is fatal to live too long",\ "oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to conceive",\ "oh, aunty em, it\'s so good to be home!",\ "old macdonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement",\ "omniscience: talking only about things you know about",\ "on the whole, i\'d rather be in philadelphia",\ "once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse",\ "once is happenstance. twice is coincidence. thrice is enemy action",\ "once upon a time, charity was a virtue and not an organization",\ "one bell system -- it sometimes works",\ "one bit of advice: don\'t give it",\ "one child is not enough, but two children are far too many",\ "one good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe",\ "one good turn usually gets most of the blanket",\ "one nice thing about egotists: they don\'t talk about other people",\ "one size fits all: doesn\'t fit anyone",\ "one thing leads to another, and usually does",\ "one way to make your old car run better is to look up the price of a new model",\ "only adults have difficulty with childproof caps",\ "only fools are quoted",\ "only through hard work and perseverance can one truly suffer",\ "only two groups of people fall for flattery: men and women",\ "opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment",\ "our parents were never our age",\ "our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing",\ "our problems are mostly behind us. now we have to fight the solutions",\ "our vision is to speed up time, eventually eliminating it",\ "out of the mouths of babes does often come cereal",\ "outpatient: a person who has fainted",\ "oversteer is when the passenger is scared; understeer when the driver is scared",\ "packrat\'s credo: \"i have no use for it, but i hate to see it go to waste.\"",\ "paper is always strongest at the perforations",\ "paradise is exactly like where you are, only much, much better",\ "paradox: an assistant to phds",\ "parallel lines never meet unless you bend one or both of them",\ "paranoia: a healthy understanding of the nature of the universe",\ "paranoid schizophrenics outnumber their enemies at least two to one",\ "people accept an idea more readily if you say benjamin franklin said it first",\ "people have one thing in common: they are all different",\ "people usually get what\'s coming to them... unless it was mailed",\ "people who live in glass houses shouldn\'t throw parties",\ "people who take cat naps usually don\'t sleep in a cat\'s cradle",\ "people who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do",\ "people will buy anything that is one to a customer",\ "perfect guest: one who makes his host feel at home",\ "perfect paranoia is perfect awareness",\ "perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others",\ "phasers locked on target, captain",\ "philosophy: unintelligible answers to insoluble problems",\ "pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth",\ "pity the poor egg; it only gets laid once",\ "politics consists of deals and ideals",\ "politics: the art of turning influence into affluence",\ "positive: being mistaken at the top of your voice",\ "possessions increase to fill the space available for their storage",\ "pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth",\ "power means not having to respond",\ "predestination was doomed from the start",\ "preudhomme\'s law of window cleaning: it\'s on the other side",\ "pro is to con as progress is to congress",\ "proctologist: a doctor who puts in a hard day at the orifice",\ "professor: one who talks in someone else\'s sleep",\ "progress means replacing a theory that is wrong with one more subtly wrong",\ "progress might have been all right once, but it\'s gone on too long",\ "proofreading is more effective after publication",\ "proximity isn\'t everything, but it comes close",\ "puritan: someone who is deathly afraid that someone somewhere is having fun",\ "pushing 40 is exercise enough",\ "quack!",\ "quality assurance doesn\'t",\ "quantity is no substitute for quality, but it is the only one we have",\ "quark! quark! beware the quantum duck!",\ "question authority... and the authorities will question you!",\ "quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur. (anything in latin sounds profound.)",\ "quinine is the bark of a tree; canine is the bark of a dog",\ "quit working and play for once!",\ "quoting one is plagiarism. quoting many is research",\ "radioactive cats have 18 half-lives",\ "rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down",\ "reality -- what a concept!",\ "reality is for people who can\'t deal with drugs",\ "reality is for people who lack imagination",\ "reality is just a convenient measure of complexity",\ "reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away",\ "refrain means don\'t do it. a refrain in music is the part you better not sing",\ "refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person",\ "reputation: what others are not thinking about you",\ "research is what i\'m doing when i don\'t know what i\'m doing",\ "right now i\'m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time",\ "rugged: too heavy to lift",\ "rumper sticker on a horse: \"get off my tail, because shit happens.\"",\ "russia has abolished god, but so far god has been more tolerant",\ "sacred cows make great hamburger",\ "saddam hussein is the father of the mother of all cliches",\ "sailing: a form of mast transit",\ "satisfaction guaranteed, or twice your load back.-- sign on septic tank truck",\ "schroedinger\'s cat might have died for your sins",\ "science is material. religion is immaterial",\ "scotty, beam me up a double!",\ "second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience",\ "seeing is deceiving. it\'s eating that\'s believing",\ "seek simplicity -- and distrust it",\ "serendipity: the process by which human knowledge is advanced",\ "serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence",\ "sex is dirty only when it\'s done right",\ "sex is not the answer. sex is the question. \"yes\" is the answer",\ "sex is the most fun you can have without laughing",\ "she walks as if balancing the family tree on her nose",\ "showing up is 80% of life",\ "sign on bank: \"free bottle of chivas with every million-dollar deposit.\"",\ "silly is a state of mind. stupid is a way of life",\ "smile! you\'re on candid camera",\ "smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics",\ "snow and adolescence are problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough",\ "socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even",\ "some is good, more is better, too much is just right",\ "some make things happen; some watch what happens; some wonder what happened",\ "some men are discovered; others are found out",\ "some people cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go",\ "some people who can, should not",\ "some people would not recognize subtlety if it hit them on the head",\ "some prefer the happiness of pursuit to the pursuit of happiness",\ "someday you will get your big chance -- or have you already had it?",\ "someday you will look back on this moment and plow into a parked car",\ "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar",\ "sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma",\ "spare no expense to save money on this one",\ "speed is n subsittute fo accurancy",\ "spelling is a lossed art",\ "spinster: a bachelor\'s wife",\ "spirobits: the frayed bits of left-behind paper in a spiral notebook",\ "spock: we suffered 23 casualties in that attack, captain",\ "standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down",\ "statisticians do it with 95 percent confidence",\ "stealing a rhinoceros should not be attempted lightly",\ "stock item: we shipped it once before and we can do it again",\ "stop committing useless mistakes. make your next mistake count!",\ "strategy is when you keep firing so the enemy doesn\'t know you\'re out of ammo",\ "stupid: losing $25 on the game, and $25 more on the instant replay",\ "success always occurs in private, and failure in full view",\ "success is something i will dress for when i get there, and not until",\ "success: the ability to go from failure to failure without being discouraged",\ "suicide is the sincerest form of self-criticism",\ "sweater: a garment worn by a child when his parent feels chilly",\ "system-independent: works equally poorly on all systems",\ "tact: the unsaid part of what you are thinking",\ "take everything in stride. trample anyone who gets in your way",\ "talent does what it can; genius does what it must; i do what i am paid to do",\ "taxes are going up so fast, the government might price itself out of the market",\ "taxes: the one of life\'s two certainties for which you can get an extension",\ "teamwork is essential; it allows you to blame someone else",\ "technique: a trick that works",\ "teenagers are two year olds with hormones and wheels",\ "telepathy: knowing what people think when really they don\'t think at all",\ "terrorists blow up celluloid factory... no film at 11",\ "thank you for observing all safety precautions",\ "that must be wonderful; i don\'t understand it at all",\ "that that is is that that is not is not",\ "the adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech",\ "the best cure for insomnia is a monday morning",\ "the best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep",\ "the best laid plans of mice and men are usually about equal",\ "the best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time",\ "the best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to seal the envelope",\ "the bigger they are, the harder they hit",\ "the bureaucracy expands to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy",\ "the chief cause of problems is solutions",\ "the climate of bombay is such that its inhabitants have to live elsewhere",\ "the coldest winter i ever spent was a summer in san francisco",\ "the cost of living hasn\'t affected its popularity",\ "the cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going down",\ "the cow is a machine that makes grass fit for us people to eat",\ "the cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other, milk",\ "the death rate on earth is: one per person",\ "the decision does not have to be logical; it was unanimous",\ "the difference between a good haircut and a bad one is seven days",\ "the difficult we do today; the impossible takes a little longer",\ "the early worm gets the late bird",\ "the fact that it works is immaterial",\ "the famous politician was trying to save both his faces",\ "the fewer the data points, the smoother the curve",\ "the first myth of management is that it exists",\ "the first piece of luggage out of the chute does not belong to anyone, ever",\ "the first rule of gun fighting is -- bring a gun",\ "the first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts",\ "the first thing i do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue",\ "the first thing we do, let\'s kill all the lawyers",\ "the flush toilet is the basis of western civilization",\ "the following statement is not true..",\ "the four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar",\ "the future is a myth created by insurance salesmen and high school counselors",\ "the general direction of the alps is straight up",\ "the grass is always greener on the other side of your sunglasses",\ "the hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax",\ "the highway of life is always under construction",\ "the idea is to die young as late as possible",\ "the knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss",\ "the law of gravity was enacted by the british parliament",\ "the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an approaching train",\ "the lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won\'t get much sleep",\ "the meek shall inherit the earth -- they are too weak to refuse",\ "the meek shall inherit the earth after we are done with it",\ "the more keys you have, the more likely to be you are locked out",\ "the more things change, the more they stay insane",\ "the more things change, the more they will never be the same again",\ "the mosquito is the state bird of new jersey",\ "the most dangerous part about playing cymbals is near the nose",\ "the most enjoyable form of sex education is the braille method",\ "the moving finger having writ... gestures",\ "the next thing i say will be true. the last thing i said was false",\ "the nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from",\ "the number watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action",\ "the number you have dialed is imaginary. please multiply by i and dial again",\ "the older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy",\ "the one who says it can\'t be done should never interrupt the one doing it",\ "the only thing to do with good advice is pass it on",\ "the only tools some people are competent to use are a pen and a checkbook",\ "the only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it",\ "the optimum committee has no members",\ "the other line always moves faster",\ "the past is another country; they do things differently there",\ "the perversity of the universe tends toward a maximum",\ "the plural of \"musical instrument\" is \"orchestra\"",\ "the prairies are vast plains covered by treeless forests",\ "the problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard",\ "the pyramids are a range of mountains between france and spain",\ "the race is not always to the swift... but that\'s the way to bet",\ "the ranger isn\'t gonna like it, yogi",\ "the reason that sex is so popular is that it\'s centrally located",\ "the richer your friends, the more they will cost you",\ "the schizophrenic: an unauthorized autobiography",\ "the second best policy is dishonesty",\ "the secret of life is to look good at a distance",\ "the secret of success is sincerity. once you can fake that, you have it made",\ "the sex act is the funniest thing on the face of this earth",\ "the shortest distance between two points is through hell",\ "the shortest distance between two points is under construction",\ "the sixth shiek\'s sixth sheep\'s sick",\ "the society of independent people has no members",\ "the sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up",\ "the stapler runs out of staples only while you are trying to staple something",\ "the supernova makes mt. st. helens and krakatoa look puny",\ "the theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made men think",\ "the things that interest people most are usually none of their business",\ "the three stages of sex in marriage: tri-weekly; try-weekly; try-weakly",\ "the total intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing",\ "the tree of learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad",\ "the trouble with a kitten is that, when it grows up, it is always a cat",\ "the trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it",\ "the trouble with political jokes is that they get elected",\ "the two kinds of egotists: those who admit it, and the rest of us",\ "the two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity",\ "the universe is surrounded by whatever it is that surrounds universes",\ "the weather at home improves as soon as you go away",\ "the wind blows harder in the summer so the sun sets later",\ "the word today is legs... spread the word",\ "the world is run by c students",\ "the world isn\'t any worse. it\'s just that the news coverage is so much better",\ "the world\'s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed",\ "the worst you can say about god is that he\'s an underachiever",\ "the zebra is chiefly used to illustrate the letter Z",\ "theft from a single author is plagiarism. theft from three or more is research",\ "there are many excuses for being late, but there are none for being early",\ "there are many kinds of people in the world. are you one of them?",\ "there are more old drunkards than old doctors",\ "there are more things in heaven and earth than anyplace else",\ "there cannot be a crisis next week. my schedule is already full",\ "there is a 20% chance of tomorrow",\ "there is a fine line between courage and foolishness. too bad it\'s not a fence",\ "there is a green, multi-legged creature crawling on your shoulder",\ "there is a vas deferens between men and women",\ "there is always more hell that needs raising",\ "there is an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about",\ "there is an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to",\ "there is at least one fool in every married couple",\ "there is exactly one true categorical statement",\ "there is intelligent life on earth, but i am just visiting",\ "there is no future in time travel",\ "there is no problem a good miracle can\'t solve",\ "there is no room in the drug world for amateurs",\ "there is no substitute for good manners, except, perhaps, fast reflexes",\ "there is no time like the pleasant",\ "there is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax",\ "there is nothing wrong with abstinence, in moderation",\ "there is nothing wrong with teenagers that reasoning with them won\'t aggravate",\ "there is nothing you can do that can\'t be done",\ "there is only one difference between a madman and me. i am not mad",\ "there is so much to say, but your eyes keep interrupting me",\ "there is very little future in being right when your boss is wrong",\ "there must be more to life than sitting wondering if there is more to life",\ "they also surf who only stand on waves",\ "they couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist..",\ "they took some of the van goghs, most of the jewels, and all of the chivas!",\ "things are more like they are today then they ever were before",\ "things are more like they used to be than they are now",\ "things equal to nothing else are equal to each other",\ "things will get better despite our efforts to improve them",\ "think honk if you are telepathic",\ "think how much fun you could have with the doctor\'s wife and a bucket of apples",\ "this fortune is encrypted -- get your decoder rings ready!",\ "this fortune is inoperative. please try another",\ "this fortune was brought to you by the people at hewlett-packard",\ "this is a crude version of a more advanced joke that has never been written",\ "this is a good time to punt work",\ "this is a recording",\ "this is national non-dairy creamer week",\ "this is the sort of english up with which i will not put",\ "this isn\'t right. this isn\'t even wrong",\ "this may not be the best of all worlds, but it is certainly the most expensive",\ "this saying would be seven words long if it were six words shorter",\ "this sentence no verb",\ "this statement is in no way to be construed as a disclaimer",\ "this will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it",\ "those who can, do; those who can\'t, simulate",\ "those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address",\ "those who like sausages and the law had better not watch either one being made",\ "three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead",\ "time flies like an arrow. fruit flies like a banana",\ "time flies when you don\'t know what you are doing",\ "time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space",\ "time is an illusion; lunchtime doubly so",\ "time is nature\'s way of making sure that everything doesn\'t happen at once",\ "time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all its students",\ "tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in la",\ "to be safe, make a copy of everything before you destroy it",\ "to err is human. to admit it is a blunder",\ "to err is human. to blame someone else for your errors is even more human",\ "to err is human. to forgive is unusual",\ "to err is human; to forgive is not company policy",\ "to generalize is to be an idiot",\ "to get it done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it",\ "to keep milk from turning sour, you should keep it in the cow",\ "to make a small fortune in the commodities market, start with a large fortune",\ "to study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start",\ "to succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles",\ "to vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question... or is it?",\ "to you i am an atheist; to god, i\'m the loyal opposition",\ "today is a good day to bribe a high ranking public official",\ "today is the first day of the rest of the mess",\ "today is the last day of the past of your life",\ "today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday",\ "toe: a part of the foot used to find furniture in the dark",\ "tomorrow looks like a good day to sleep in",\ "tomorrow will be cancelled due to lack of interest",\ "too much is not enough",\ "too much of a good thing is wonderful",\ "toto, i don\'t think we\'re in kansas anymore",\ "tragedy: a busload of lawyers driving off a cliff with three empty seats",\ "traveling through hyperspace isn\'t like dusting crops, boy",\ "troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level",\ "truth is the most valuable thing we have -- so let us economize it",\ "truthful: dumb and illiterate",\ "try the moo shu pork. it is especially good today",\ "try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance",\ "tuesday after lunch is the cosmic time of the week",\ "tv is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done",\ "twenty percent of zero is better than nothing",\ "two can live as cheaply as one for half as long",\ "two cars in every pot and a chicken in every garage",\ "two heads are more numerous than one",\ "two is not equal to 3, not even for large values of 2",\ "two wrongs are only the beginning",\ "unauthorized fornication with this equipment is disallowed",\ "under capitalism, man exploits man. under communism, it is just the opposite",\ "under every stone lurks a politician",\ "unmatched: almost as good as the competition",\ "very few profundities can be expressed in less than 80 characters",\ "vital papers demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving",\ "volcano: a mountain with hiccups",\ "vote anarchist",\ "wagner\'s music is better than it sounds",\ "waste not, get your budget cut next year",\ "we are all politicians. some of us are just honest enough to admit it",\ "we are all self-made, but only the rich will admit it",\ "we are living in a golden age. all you need is gold",\ "we are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one",\ "we are so fond of each other because our ailments are the same",\ "we are sorry. we cannot complete your call as dialed",\ "we are the people our parents warned us about",\ "we can loan you enough money to get you completely out of debt.-- sign in bank",\ "we could do that, but it would be wrong, that\'s for sure",\ "we don\'t have to protect the environment; the second coming is at hand",\ "we have them just where they want us",\ "we interrupt this fortune for an important announcement..",\ "we need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it",\ "we totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators",\ "we will cross out that bridge when we come back to it later",\ "we will get along fine as soon as you realize i am god",\ "we will have solar energy when the power companies develop a sunbeam meter",\ "wealth: the ability to support debt",\ "wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise",\ "well adjusted: makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous",\ "well-adjusted: able to play bridge or golf as if they were games",\ "what can\'t be said, can\'t be said. and it can\'t be whistled, either",\ "what did you bring the book i want to be read to out of about down under up for?",\ "what do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? a good start",\ "what do you call a lawyer buried up to his neck in sand? not enough sand",\ "what happens when you cut back the jungle? it recedes",\ "what if there were no hypothetical situations?",\ "what is an atheist\'s favorite movie? \"coincidence on 34th street\"",\ "what is mind? no matter. what is matter? never mind",\ "what is orange and goes \"click, click\"? a ball point carrot",\ "what is research but a blind date with knowledge?",\ "what is the difference between a duck? one of its legs is both the same",\ "what is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking someone to do",\ "what orators lack in depth they make up in length",\ "what sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?",\ "what scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?",\ "what this country needs is more leaders who know what this country needs",\ "what use is magic if it can\'t save a unicorn?",\ "what! me worry?",\ "what, after all, is a halo? it\'s only one more thing to keep clean",\ "whatever you want to do, you have to do something else first",\ "when angry, count four; when very angry, swear",\ "when evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve",\ "when god created two sexes, he might have been overdoing it",\ "when i look at my children, i often wish i had remained a virgin",\ "when i\'m good, i\'m very good. but when i\'m bad, i\'m better",\ "when in charge, ponder. when in doubt, mumble. when in trouble, delegate",\ "when in doubt, lead trump",\ "when in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout",\ "when it comes to helping you, some people stop at nothing",\ "when it\'s you against the world, bet on the world",\ "when management wants your opinion, they will give it to you",\ "when marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws",\ "when mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years",\ "when one burns one\'s bridges, what a very nice fire it makes",\ "when pigs back into an electric fence, there is a short circus",\ "when someone says, \"it ain\'t the money, but the principle,\" it\'s the money",\ "when the going gets tough, everyone leaves",\ "when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro",\ "when they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?",\ "when working hard, be sure to get up and retch every so often",\ "when you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut",\ "when you breathe you inspire. when you do not breathe you expire",\ "when you dial a wrong number you never get a busy signal",\ "when you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers",\ "when you\'ve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow",\ "when you\'ve seen one non-sequitar, the price of tea in china",\ "when your memory goes, forget it!",\ "whenever anyone says, \"theoretically\", they really mean, \"not really\"",\ "whenever i feel like exercise, i lie down until the feeling passes",\ "wherever you go...there you are",\ "where there is a will, there is an inheritance tax",\ "where there\'s a whip there\'s a way",\ "where there\'s a will, there\'s a relative",\ "whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back",\ "which came first, the chicken or the egg? neither, it was the rooster",\ "which is worse, ignorance or apathy? who knows? who cares?",\ "while money doesn\'t buy love, it puts you in a great bargaining position",\ "white dwarf seeks red giant for binary relationship",\ "who cares about procreation, as long as it tickles?",\ "who dat who say \"who dat\" when i say \"who dat\"?",\ "who was that masked man?",\ "who\'s on first?",\ "whoever said money can\'t buy happiness didn\'t know where to shop",\ "why be difficult when, with a bit of effort, you could be impossible?",\ "why bother building any more nuclear warheads until we use the ones we have?",\ "why did the chicken cross the road? he was giving it last rites",\ "why did the politician cross the road? to get to the middle",\ "why did the tachyon cross the road? because it was on the other side",\ "why doesn\'t life come with subtitles?",\ "why don\'t \"minimalists\" find a shorter name for themselves?",\ "why is \"abbreviated\" such a long word?",\ "why is \"palindrome\" spelled \"palindrome\" and not \"palindromeemordnilap\"?",\ "why is it that there are so many more horses\' asses than horses?",\ "why isn\'t \"phonetic\" spelled the way it\'s said?",\ "why isn\'t there a special name for the tops of your feet?",\ "why was i born with such contemporaries?",\ "why would anyone want to be called later?",\ "winning isn\'t everything, but losing isn\'t anything",\ "with a rubber duck, one\'s never alone",\ "without life, biology itself would be impossible",\ "women want one man to meet every need; men want every woman to meet one need",\ "women who desire to be like men, lack ambition",\ "work is the curse of the drinking class",\ "writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down",\ "yawning is an orgasm for your face",\ "years of development: we finally got one to work",\ "yesterday was the deadline on all complaints",\ "yield to temptation; it might not pass your way again",\ "yo-yo: something occasionally up but normally down (see also \"computer\")",\ "you ain't much if you ain't dutch",\ "you are here. but you are not all there",\ "you are in a maze of little twisting passages, all alike",\ "you are in a maze of little twisting passages, all different",\ "you are not paranoid if they\'re really after you..",\ "you are ugly and your mother dresses you funny",\ "you are warm and giving toward others. what are you after?",\ "you aren\'t a real engineer until you make one $50,000 mistake",\ "you can fool some of the people some of the time, and that is sufficient",\ "you can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word",\ "you can learn many things from children... like how much patience you have",\ "you can observe a lot just by watchin\'",\ "you can rent this profound space for only $5 a week",\ "you can\'t have everything. where would you put it?",\ "you can\'t have kate and edith too!",\ "you cannot buy beer; you can only rent it",\ "you cannot determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter",\ "you could be playing a video game instead",\ "you fill a much-needed gap",\ "you have a right to your opinions. i just don\'t want to hear them",\ "you have been selected for a secret mission",\ "you have the body of a 19 year old. please return it before it gets wrinkled",\ "you have the capacity to learn from mistakes. you will learn a lot today",\ "you know you are a little fat if you have stretch marks on your car",\ "you know you are over the hill when work is less fun and fun is more work",\ "you know you have landed gear-up when it takes full power to taxi",\ "you look like a million dollars... all green and wrinkled",\ "you never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach",\ "you never know who is right, but you always know who is in charge",\ "you now have asian flu",\ "you will be reincarnated as a toad; and you will be much happier",\ "you will be surprised by a loud noise",\ "you will feel hungry again in another hour",\ "you will live a long full life and gradually decay into a useless blob",\ "you will live a long, healthy, happy life and make bags of money",\ "you will never hit your finger if you hold the hammer with both hands",\ "you will pay for your sins. if you have already paid, please disregard",\ "you will soon forget this",\ "you will step on the night soil of many countries",\ "you won\'t skid if you stay in a rut",\ "you would if you could but you can\'t so you won\'t (and probably shouldn\'t)",\ "you\'ll find it all at greeley mall",\ "you\'re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on",\ "your chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to... uh..",\ "your check is in the mail",\ "your fly might be open (but don\'t check it just now)",\ "your love life will be... interesting",\ "your lucky number has been disconnected",\ "your lucky number is 364958674928. watch for it everywhere",\ "your reasoning is silly and irrational but it is beginning to make sense",\ "your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with",\ "your weight is perfect for your height -- which varies",\ "youth is too good to be wasted on the young",\ "[he] has all the virtues i dislike and none of the vices i admire",\ "[nuclear war]... may not be desirable" #define ADJ \ "old",\ "new",\ "greasy",\ "slimy",\ "big",\ "small",\ "little",\ "soft",\ "hard",\ "strange",\ "weird",\ "tiny",\ "smelly",\ "fat",\ "skinny",\ "dark",\ "light",\ "heavy" #define COLOR \ "blue",\ "red",\ "white",\ "green",\ "yellow",\ "clear",\ "tangerine",\ "black",\ "purple",\ "pink",\ "brown",\ "tan",\ "grey",\ "olive" #define WHENF \ "never",\ "when?",\ "next week",\ "next month",\ "a long time from now",\ "2 million ad",\ "not now",\ "tommorow",\ "tonight",\ "in 1 year",\ "in 5 years",\ "next year",\ "in 2010",\ "in the year 2052",\ "in 2001",\ "who can tell" #define WHENP \ "when?",\ "1 million bc",\ "a long time ago",\ "this morning",\ "yesterday",\ "last week",\ "last month",\ "4 years ago",\ "2 weeks ago",\ "last week",\ "the year 1776",\ "the year 1492",\ "the year 1066",\ "before breakfest",\ "good question" #define TIME \ "0:00",\ "1:00",\ "2:00",\ "3:00",\ "4:00",\ "5:00",\ "6:00",\ "7:00",\ "8:00",\ "9:00",\ "10:00",\ "11:00",\ "12:00",\ "1:30",\ "2:30",\ "3:30",\ "4:30",\ "5:30",\ "6:30",\ "7:30",\ "8:30",\ "9:30",\ "10:30",\ "11:30",\ "12:30" #define FOOD \ "pizza",\ "shrimp",\ "bannannas",\ "potted meat",\ "chips and salsa",\ "sushi",\ "beans and weiners",\ "cabbage",\ "sateh",\ "salami",\ "ham",\ "cheese",\ "oatmeal",\ "turkey",\ "cow flesh",\ "t-bone steak",\ "spam",\ "green eggs and ham",\ "sardines",\ "anchovies",\ "spaghetti-o\'s",\ "eggplant",\ "meatloaf",\ "chicken wings",\ "liver",\ "porkchops and applesauce",\ "popcorn",\ "jolly ranchers",\ "texas toast",\ "frech fries",\ "hamburger",\ "beef jerky",\ "cottage cheese",\ "cheese-food",\ "black jellybeans",\ "twinkys",\ "olive loaf" #define ANIMAL \ "monkey",\ "tiger",\ "horse",\ "hippo",\ "sheep",\ "lion",\ "cow",\ "wombat",\ "kangaroo",\ "zebra",\ "giant eel",\ "racoon",\ "aardvark",\ "duck",\ "dog",\ "cat",\ "wombat",\ "goose",\ "gorilla",\ "squirrel",\ "chipmunk",\ "platypus",\ "blue-footed booby",\ "caribou",\ "head louse",\ "mosquito" #define WEATHER \ "hot",\ "cold",\ "windy",\ "so so..",\ "hot as hell ",\ "cold as hell!",\ "sunny",\ "cloudy",\ "rainy",\ "pretty cool",\ "a bit warm",\ "overcast",\ "storming",\ "raining",\ "flooding",\ "snowing",\ "hailing",\ "sleeting" #define MONTH \ "january",\ "february",\ "march",\ "april",\ "may",\ "june",\ "july",\ "august",\ "september",\ "october",\ "november",\ "december" exclamation = {"!", "!!", "!", "!!!", "!!!!!!!", "!!!"} good = {"good", "gooood", "so good", "sooo goood"} looser = {"sucker", "loser", "sckr", "loosr"} nerd = {"pizza", "nerdy", "nerd"} boyz = {"boyz", "boyz & grllz", "girlies"} ramble = {RAMBLE, ONE_LINERS} response = {AFFIRMATIVE, NEGATIVE, NEUTRAL} neutral = {NEUTRAL} negative = {NEGATIVE} item = {ITEM} place = {PLACE} class = {CLASS} liquid = {LIQUID} number = {NUMBER} profession = {PROFESSION} name = {NAME} adj = {ADJ} color = {COLOR} whenf = {WHENF} whenp = {WHENP} time = {TIME} food = {FOOD} animal = {ANIMAL} weather = {WEATHER} month = {MONTH} positive = {AFFIRMATIVE} person = {"mrelusive", "squatt", "mrfreeze", "the pope", "thor"} //=========================================================================== // // Name: weapons.c // Function: weapon configuration // Programmer: Mr Elusive (MrElusive@demigod.demon.nl) // Last update: 1998-12-16 // Tab Size: 3 (real tabs) //=========================================================================== #include "inv.h" #include "game.h" #define VEC_ORIGIN {0, 0, 0} //projectile flags #define PFL_WINDOWDAMAGE 1 //projectile damages through window #define PFL_RETURN 2 //set when projectile returns to owner //weapon flags #define WFL_FIRERELEASED 1 //set when projectile is fired with key-up event //damage types #define DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT 1 //damage on impact #define DAMAGETYPE_RADIAL 2 //radial damage #define DAMAGETYPE_VISIBLE 4 //damage to all entities visible to the projectile #define DAMAGETYPE_IGNOREARMOR 8 //projectile goes right through armor //=========================================================================== // Blaster //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //for Blaster { name "blasterbolt" model "models/objects/laser/tris.md2" flags 0 gravity 0 #if DEATHMATCH damage 15 //p_weapon.c: deathmatch: 15 otherwise 10 #else damage 10 #endif //DEATHMATCH radius 0 visdamage 0 damagetype DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT //g_weapon.c: damage on impact healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 0 bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } weaponinfo //Blaster { name "Blaster" model "models/weapons/v_blast/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_BLASTER //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = flags 0 projectile "blasterbolt" numprojectiles 1 hspread 0 vspread 0 speed 1000 //p_weapon.c: Blaster_Fire acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {24, 8, -8} angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 0 ammoindex INVENTORY_NONE activate 0.5 //FIXME: get correct value reload 0.5 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_Blaster fire_frames[] spinup 0.5 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_Blaster fire_frames[] spindown 0 } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // Shotgun //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //for Shotgun { name "shotgunbullet" model "" flags 0 gravity 0 damage 4 //p_weapon.c: weapon_shotgun_fire radius 0 visdamage 0 damagetype DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT //g_weapon.c: damage on impact healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 0 bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } weaponinfo //Shotgun { name "Shotgun" model "models/weapons/v_shotg/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_SHOTGUN //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = flags 0 projectile "shotgunbullet" numprojectiles 12 //g_local.h: DEFAULT_DEATHMATCH_SHOTGUN_COUNT hspread 3.5 //p_weapon.c: hspread = 500, g_weapon.c: 8192 vspread 3.5 //p_weapon.c: vspread = 500, g_weapon.c: 8192 speed 0 //g_weapon.c: direct impact acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {0, 8, -8} angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 1 ammoindex INVENTORY_SHELLS activate 0.5 //FIXME: get correct value reload 1.1 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_Shotgun fire_frames[] spinup 0.1 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_Shotgun fire_frames[] spindown 0 } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // Super Shotgun //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //for Super Shotgun { name "supershotgunbullet" model "" flags 0 gravity 0 damage 6 //p_weapon.c: weapon_supershotgun_fire radius 0 visdamage 0 damagetype DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT //g_weapon.c: damage on impact healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 0 bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } weaponinfo //Super Shotgun { name "Super Shotgun" model "models/weapons/v_shotg2/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_SUPERSHOTGUN //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = projectile "supershotgunbullet" flags 0 numprojectiles 20 //g_local.h: DEFAULT_DEATHMATCH_SHOTGUN_COUNT hspread 7.0 //p_weapon.c: hspread = 1000, g_weapon.c: 8192 vspread 3.5 //p_weapon.c: vspread = 500, g_weapon.c: 8192 speed 0 //g_weapon.c: direct impact acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {0, 8, -8} angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 2 ammoindex INVENTORY_SHELLS reload 1.1 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_Shotgun fire_frames[] activate 0.5 //FIXME: get correct value spinup 0.1 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_Shotgun fire_frames[] spindown 0 } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // Machinegun //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //for Machinegun { name "machinegunbullet" model "" flags 0 gravity 0 damage 8 //p_weapon.c: Machinegun_Fire radius 0 visdamage 0 damagetype DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT //g_weapon.c: damage on impact healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 0 bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } weaponinfo //Machinegun { name "Machinegun" model "models/weapons/v_machn/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_MACHINEGUN //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = flags 0 projectile "machinegunbullet" numprojectiles 1 //g_local.h: DEFAULT_DEATHMATCH_SHOTGUN_COUNT hspread 2.1 //p_weapon.c: hspread = 300, g_weapon.c: 8192 vspread 3.5 //p_weapon.c: vspread = 500, g_weapon.c: 8192 speed 0 //g_weapon.c: direct impact acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {0, 8, -8} angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 1 //p_weapon.c: Machinegun_Fire ammoindex INVENTORY_BULLETS //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = activate 0.5 //FIXME: get correct value reload 0.1 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_Machinegun fire_frames[] spinup 0.1 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_Machinegun fire_frames[] spindown 0 } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // Chaingun //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //for Chaingun { name "chaingunbullet" model "" flags 0 gravity 0 damage 6 //p_weapon.c: Machinegun_Fire (deatmatch) radius 0 visdamage 0 damagetype DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT //g_weapon.c: damage on impact healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 0 bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } weaponinfo //Chaingun { name "Chaingun" model "models/weapons/v_chain/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_CHAINGUN //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = flags 0 projectile "chaingunbullet" numprojectiles 3 //p_weapon.c: Chaingun_Fire hspread 2.1 //p_weapon.c: hspread = 300, g_weapon.c: 8192 vspread 3.5 //p_weapon.c: vspread = 500, g_weapon.c: 8192 speed 0 //g_weapon.c: direct impact acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {0, 7, -8} //actually 4 * random() is added to y and z angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 3 //p_weapon.c: Chaingun_Fire ammoindex INVENTORY_BULLETS //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = activate 0.5 //FIXME: get correct value reload 0.1 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_Chaingun fire_frames[] spinup 0.5 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_Chaingun fire_frames[] spindown 0.5 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_Chaingun fire_frames[] } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // Grenade Launcher //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //for Grenade Launcher { name "grenade" model "models/objects/grenade/tris.md2" flags 0 gravity 1 damage 120 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenadelauncher_fire radius 160 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenadelauncher_fire visdamage 0 damagetype $evalint(DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT|DAMAGETYPE_RADIAL) //g_weapon.c: impact and radial damage healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 2.5 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenadelauncher_fire bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } weaponinfo //Grenade Launcher { name "Grenade Launcher" model "models/weapons/v_launch/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_GRENADELAUNCHER //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = flags 0 projectile "grenade" //see above numprojectiles 1 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenadelauncher_fire hspread 0 vspread 0 speed 600 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenadelauncher_fire acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {8, 8, -8} angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN extrazvelocity 200 //g_weapon.c: fire_grenade ammoamount 1 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenadelauncher_fire ammoindex INVENTORY_GRENADES//g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = ("grenades") reload 1.1 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_GrenadeLauncher fire_frames[] activate 0.5 //FIXME: get correct value spinup 0.1 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_GrenadeLauncher fire_frames[] spindown 0.0 } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // Rocket Launcher //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //for Rocket Launcher { name "rocket" model "models/objects/rocket/tris.md2" flags 0 gravity 0 damage 110 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_RocketLauncher_Fire radius 120 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_RocketLauncher_Fire visdamage 0 damagetype $evalint(DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT|DAMAGETYPE_RADIAL) //g_weapon.c: impact and radial damage healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 0 bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } weaponinfo //Rocket Launcher { name "Rocket Launcher" model "models/weapons/v_rocket/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_ROCKETLAUNCHER //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = projectile "rocket" //see above flags 0 numprojectiles 1 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_RocketLauncher_Fire hspread 0 vspread 0 speed 650 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_RocketLauncher_Fire acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {8, 8, -8} angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 1 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_RocketLauncher_Fire ammoindex INVENTORY_ROCKETS //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = ("Rockets") reload 0.8 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_RocketLauncher fire_frames[] activate 0.5 //FIXME: get correct value spinup 0.1 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_RocketLauncher fire_frames[] spindown 0.0 } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // Hyper Blaster //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //for Hyper Blaster { name "hyperblasterbolt" model "models/objects/laser/tris.md2" flags 0 gravity 0 #if DEATHMATCH damage 15 //deathmatch: 15 otherwise 20 #else damage 20 #endif //DEATHMATCH radius 0 visdamage 0 damagetype DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT //damage on impact healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 0 bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } weaponinfo //Hyper Blaster { name "HyperBlaster" model "models/weapons/v_hyperb/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_HYPERBLASTER //see g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = flags 0 projectile "hyperblasterbolt" numprojectiles 1 hspread 0 vspread 0 speed 1000 //see p_weapon.c: Blaster_Fire acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {0, 0, 0} //actually it circles with radius 4 around this offset angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 1 //one cell ammoindex INVENTORY_CELLS //cells, see g_items.c activate 0.5 //FIXME: get correct value reload 0.1 //see p_weapon.c: Weapon_HyperBlaster fire_frames[] spinup 0.1 //see p_weapon.c: Weapon_HyperBlaster fire_frames[] spindown 0.0 } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // Railgun //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //for Railgun { name "rail" model "" flags 0 gravity 0 damage 100 //p_weapon.c: weapon_railgun_fire (deathmatch) radius 0 visdamage 0 damagetype DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT //g_weapon.c: damage on impact healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 0 bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } weaponinfo //Railgun { name "Railgun" model "models/weapons/v_rail/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_RAILGUN //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = flags 0 projectile "rail" //see above numprojectiles 1 //p_weapon.c: weapon_railgun_fire hspread 0 vspread 0 speed 0 //instant hit acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {0, 7, -8} angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 1 //p_weapon.c: weapon_railgun_fire ammoindex INVENTORY_SLUGS //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = ("slugs") activate 0.5 //FIXME: get correct value reload 1.5 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_Railgun spinup 0.1 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_Railgun spindown 0.0 } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // BFG10K //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //for BFG10K { name "flash" model "sprites/s_bfg1.sp2" flags 0 gravity 0 damage 200 //p_weapon.c: weapon_bfg_fire (deathmatch) radius 1000 //p_weapon.c: weapon_bfg_fire visdamage 5 //g_weapon.c: bfg_think damagetype $evalint(DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT|DAMAGETYPE_RADIAL|DAMAGETYPE_VISIBLE) //g_weapon.c: impact, radial and visible healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 0 bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } weaponinfo //BFG10K { name "BFG10K" model "models/weapons/v_bfg/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_BFG10K //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = projectile "flash" //see above flags 0 numprojectiles 1 //p_weapon.c: weapon_bfg_fire hspread 0 vspread 0 speed 400 //p_weapon.c: weapon_bfg_fire acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {8, 8, -8} angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 50 //p_weapon.c: weapon_bfg_fire ammoindex INVENTORY_CELLS //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = ("Cells") activate 0.5 //FIXME: get correct value reload 2.4 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_BFG spinup 0.9 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_BFG spindown 0.0 } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // Hand Grenades //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //for Hand Grenades { name "handgrenade" model "models/objects/grenade2/tris.md2" flags 0 gravity 1 damage 125 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenadelauncher_fire radius 165 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenadelauncher_fire visdamage 0 damagetype $evalint(DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT|DAMAGETYPE_RADIAL) //g_weapon.c: impact and radial damage healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 3.0 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenadelauncher_fire bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } weaponinfo //Hand Grenades { name "grenades" model "models/weapons/v_handgr/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_GRENADES//g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = flags WFL_FIRERELEASED //fired when released projectile "handgrenade" //see above numprojectiles 1 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenade_fire hspread 0 vspread 0 speed 400 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenade_fire acceleration 133 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenade_fire recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {8, 8, -8} angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 1 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenade_fire ammoindex INVENTORY_GRENADES//g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = ("grenades") activate 0.5 //FIXME: get correct value reload 1.1 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_Grenade spinup 1.1 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_Grenade spindown 0.0 } //end weaponinfo #ifdef XATRIX //=========================================================================== // Ionripper (shoots bouncing red cells) //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //ions { name "ion" model "models/objects/boomrang/tris.md2" flags 0 gravity 1 #ifdef DEATHMATCH damage 30 #else damage 50 #endif //DEATHMATCH radius 0 visdamage 0 damagetype DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT //g_weapon.c: impact healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 0 bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } weaponinfo //Ionripper { name "Ionripper" model "models/weapons/v_boomer/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_IONRIPPER //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = flags 0 projectile "ion" //see above numprojectiles 1 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenade_fire hspread 0 vspread 0 speed 500 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenade_fire acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {16, 7, -8} angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 2 //g_items.c: itemlist ->quantity ammoindex INVENTORY_CELLS //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] activate 0.5 //FIXME: get correct value reload 0.2 //p_weapon.c: Weapon_Grenade spinup 0 spindown 0 } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // Phalanx (sort of double rocket launcher) //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //plasma { name "plasma" model "models/objects/boomrang/tris.md2" flags 0 gravity 1 damage 70 radius 120 visdamage 0 damagetype $evalint(DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT|DAMAGETYPE_RADIAL) //g_weapon.c: impact healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 0 bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } weaponinfo //Phalanx { name "Phalanx" model "models/weapons/v_shotx/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_PHALANX //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = flags 0 projectile "plasma" //see above numprojectiles 1 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenade_fire hspread 0 vspread 0 speed 725 //p_weapon.c: acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {0, 8, -8} angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 1 //p_weapon.c: ammoindex INVENTORY_MAGSLUGS//g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] activate 0.8 //p_weapon.c: reload 0.8 //p_weapon.c: spinup 0 spindown 0 } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // Trap (opzuig apparaat) //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //trap { name "trap" } //end projectileinfo weaponinfo //Weapon trap { name "Trap" level 0 projectile "trap" } //end weaponinfo #endif //XATRIX #ifdef ROGUE //=========================================================================== // ETF Rifle //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //etf { name "etf" model "models/proj/flechette/tris.md2" flags 0 gravity 1 #ifdef DEATHMATCH damage 10 #else damage 10 #endif //DEATHMATCH radius 0 visdamage 0 damagetype DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT //g_weapon.c: impact healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 0 bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } //end projectileinfo weaponinfo //ETF Rifle { name "ETF Rifle" model "models/weapons/v_etf_rifle/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_ETFRIFLE //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = flags 0 projectile "etf" numprojectiles 2 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenade_fire hspread 0 vspread 0 speed 750 //p_weapon.c: acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {15, 8, -8} angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 1 //p_weapon.c: ammoindex INVENTORY_FLECHETTES//g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] activate 0.8 //p_weapon.c: reload 0.6 //p_weapon.c: spinup 0 spindown 0 } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // Prox Launcher //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //proximity { name "proximity" model "models/weapons/g_prox/tris.md2" flags 0 gravity 1 #ifdef DEATHMATCH damage 90 #else damage 90 #endif //DEATHMATCH radius 0 visdamage 0 damagetype DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT //g_weapon.c: impact healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 0 bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } //end projectileinfo weaponinfo //Prox Launcher { name "Prox Launcher" model "models/weapons/v_plaunch/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_PROXLAUNCHER //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = flags 0 projectile "proximity" numprojectiles 1 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenade_fire hspread 0 vspread 0 speed 750 //p_weapon.c: acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {2, 6, -14} angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 1 //p_weapon.c: ammoindex INVENTORY_PROX //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] activate 0.8 //p_weapon.c: reload 0.6 //p_weapon.c: spinup 0 spindown 0 } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // Tesla (sorta hand grenade) //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //tesla { name "tesla" } //end projectileinfo weaponinfo //Weapon tesla { name "Tesla" level 0 projectile "tesla" } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // Plasma Beam //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //plasmabeam { name "plasmabeam" model "" //TE_HEATBEAM_STEAM flags 0 gravity 1 #ifdef DEATHMATCH damage 15 #else damage 15 #endif //DEATHMATCH radius 0 visdamage 0 damagetype DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT //g_weapon.c: impact healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 0 bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } //end projectileinfo weaponinfo //Plasma Beam { name "Plasma Beam" model "models/weapons/v_beamer/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_PLASMABEAM //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = flags 0 projectile "plasmabeam" numprojectiles 1 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenade_fire hspread 0 vspread 0 speed 0 //p_weapon.c: acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {7, 2, -3} angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 1 //p_weapon.c: ammoindex INVENTORY_CELLS //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] activate 0.8 //p_weapon.c: reload 0.6 //p_weapon.c: spinup 0 spindown 0 } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // Chainfist //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //Chainfist { name "chainfistdamage" model "" flags 0 gravity 1 #ifdef DEATHMATCH damage 30 #else damage 15 #endif //DEATHMATCH radius 0 visdamage 0 damagetype DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT //g_weapon.c: impact healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 0 bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } //end projectileinfo weaponinfo //Chainfist { name "Chainfist" model "models/weapons/v_chainf/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_CHAINFIST //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = flags 0 projectile "chainfistdamage" numprojectiles 1 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenade_fire hspread 0 vspread 0 speed 0 //p_weapon.c: acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {0, 8, -4} angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 1 //p_weapon.c: ammoindex 0 //no ammo activate 0.8 //p_weapon.c: reload 0.6 //p_weapon.c: spinup 0 spindown 0 } //end weaponinfo //=========================================================================== // Disruptor //=========================================================================== projectileinfo //tracker { name "tracker" model "models/proj/disintegrator/tris.md2" flags 0 gravity 1 #ifdef DEATHMATCH damage 30 #else damage 45 #endif //DEATHMATCH radius 0 visdamage 0 damagetype DAMAGETYPE_IMPACT //g_weapon.c: impact healthinc 0 push 0 detonation 0 bounce 0 bouncefric 0 bouncestop 0 } //end projectileinfo weaponinfo //Disruptor { name "Disruptor" model "models/weapons/v_dist/tris.md2" level 0 weaponindex INVENTORY_DISRUPTOR //g_items.c: gitem_t itemlist[] = flags 0 projectile "tracker" numprojectiles 1 //p_weapon.c: weapon_grenade_fire hspread 0 vspread 0 speed 0 //p_weapon.c: acceleration 0 recoil VEC_ORIGIN offset {24, 8, -8} angleoffset VEC_ORIGIN ammoamount 1 //p_weapon.c: ammoindex INVENTORY_ROUNDS activate 0.8 //p_weapon.c: reload 0.6 //p_weapon.c: spinup 0 spindown 0 } //end weaponinfo #endif //ROGUE //=========================================================================== // // Name: match.h // Function: match template defines // Programmer: Mr Elusive (MrElusive@demigod.demon.nl) // Last update: 1999-05-12 // Tab Size: 3 (real tabs) // //=========================================================================== //match template contexts #define MTCONTEXT_CLIENTOBITUARY 1 #define MTCONTEXT_ENTERGAME 2 #define MTCONTEXT_INITIALTEAMCHAT 4 #define MTCONTEXT_TIME 8 #define MTCONTEXT_TEAMMATE 16 #define MTCONTEXT_ADDRESSEE 32 #define MTCONTEXT_PATROLKEYAREA 64 //message types #define MSG_DEATH 1 //death message #define MSG_ENTERGAME 2 //enter game message #define MSG_HELP 3 //help someone #define MSG_ACCOMPANY 4 //accompany someone #define MSG_DEFENDKEYAREA 5 //defend a key area #define MSG_RUSHBASE 6 //everyone rush to base #define MSG_GETFLAG 7 //get the enemy flag #define MSG_STARTTEAMLEADERSHIP 8 //someone wants to become the team leader #define MSG_STOPTEAMLEADERSHIP 9 //someone wants to stop being the team leader #define MSG_WAIT 10 //wait for someone #define MSG_WHATAREYOUDOING 11 //what are you doing? #define MSG_JOINSUBTEAM 12 //join a sub-team #define MSG_LEAVESUBTEAM 13 //leave a sub-team #define MSG_CREATENEWFORMATION 14 //create a new formation #define MSG_FORMATIONPOSITION 15 //tell someone his/her position in a formation #define MSG_FORMATIONSPACE 16 //set the formation intervening space #define MSG_DOFORMATION 17 //form a known formation #define MSG_DISMISS 18 //dismiss commanded team mates #define MSG_CAMP 19 //camp somewhere #define MSG_CHECKPOINT 20 //remember a check point #define MSG_PATROL 21 //patrol between certain keypoints // #define MSG_ME 100 #define MSG_EVERYONE 101 #define MSG_MULTIPLENAMES 102 #define MSG_NAME 103 #define MSG_PATROLKEYAREA 104 #define MSG_MINUTES 105 #define MSG_SECONDS 106 //death message sub types #define ST_DEATH_SUICIDE 1 #define ST_DEATH_BLASTER 2 #define ST_DEATH_SHOTGUN 3 #define ST_DEATH_SUPERSHOTGUN 4 #define ST_DEATH_MACHINEGUN 5 #define ST_DEATH_CHAINGUN 6 #define ST_DEATH_GRENADES 7 #define ST_DEATH_GRENADELAUNCHER 8 #define ST_DEATH_ROCKETLAUNCHER 9 #define ST_DEATH_HYPERBLASTER 10 #define ST_DEATH_RAILGUN 11 #define ST_DEATH_BFG 12 #define ST_DEATH_TELEFRAG 13 #define ST_DEATH_GRAPPLE 14 // #define ST_DEATH_RIPPER 15 #define ST_DEATH_PHALANX 16 #define ST_DEATH_TRAP 17 // #define ST_DEATH_CHAINFIST 18 #define ST_DEATH_DISRUPTOR 19 #define ST_DEATH_ETFRIFLE 20 #define ST_DEATH_HEATBEAM 21 #define ST_DEATH_TESLA 22 #define ST_DEATH_PROX 23 #define ST_DEATH_NUKE 24 #define ST_DEATH_VENGEANCESPHERE 25 #define ST_DEATH_DEFENDER_SPHERE 26 #define ST_DEATH_HUNTERSPHERE 27 #define ST_DEATH_TRACKER 28 #define ST_DEATH_DOPPLEGANGER 29 //command sub types #define ST_SOMEWHERE 0 #define ST_NEARITEM 1 #define ST_ADDRESSED 2 #define ST_METER 4 #define ST_FEET 8 #define ST_TIME 16 #define ST_HERE 32 #define ST_THERE 64 #define ST_I 128 #define ST_MORE 256 #define ST_BACK 512 #define ST_REVERSE 1024 //word replacement variables #define VICTIM 0 #define KILLER 1 #define GENDER_HE 4 // "he" "she" "it" #define GENDER_HIS 4 // "his" "her" "it's" #define GENDER_HIM 4 // "him" "her" "it" #define GENDER_GOD 4 // "god of hell-fire" "goddess Pele" "demigod" // #define THE_ENEMY 7 #define THE_TEAM 8 #define TEAM 9 //team message variables #define NETNAME 0 #define ADDRESSEE 1 #define ITEM 2 #define TEAMMATE 3 #define TEAMNAME 3 #define KEYAREA 4 #define FORMATION 4 #define POSITION 4 #define NUMBER 4 #define TIME 5 #define NAME 5 #define MORE 5 //=========================================================================== // // Name: syn.h // Function: synonyms // Programmer: Mr Elusive (MrElusive@demigod.demon.nl) // Last update: 1998-12-16 // Tab Size: 3 (real tabs) // Notes: - //=========================================================================== #define CONTEXT_ALL 0xFFFFFFFF #define CONTEXT_NORMAL 1 #define CONTEXT_NEARBYITEM 2 #define CONTEXT_CTFREDTEAM 4 #define CONTEXT_CTFBLUETEAM 8 #define CONTEXT_REPLY 16 //=========================================================================== // // Name: fw_items.c // Function: // Programmer: Mr Elusive (MrElusive@demigod.demon.nl) // Last update: 1998-12-16 // Tab Size: 3 (real tabs) // // // xatrix & rogue weights: // W_? weights // GWW_? weights // ammo weights //=========================================================================== #define MZ(value) (value) < 0 ? 0 : (value) #define HEALTH_SCALE(v) balance($evalfloat(FS_HEALTH*v), $evalfloat(MZ(FS_HEALTH*v-BR_HEALTH)), $evalfloat(MZ(FS_HEALTH*v+BR_HEALTH))) #define ARMOR_SCALE(v) balance($evalfloat(FS_ARMOR*v), $evalfloat(MZ(FS_ARMOR*v-BR_ARMOR)), $evalfloat(MZ(FS_ARMOR*v+BR_ARMOR))) #define WEAPON_SCALE(v) balance($evalfloat(MZ(v)), $evalfloat(MZ(v-BR_WEAPON)), $evalfloat(MZ(v+BR_WEAPON))) #define POWERUP_SCALE(v) balance($evalfloat(MZ(v)), $evalfloat(MZ(v-BR_POWERUP)), $evalfloat(MZ(v+BR_POWERUP))) //============================================= // WEAPONS //============================================= weight "weapon_shotgun" { switch(INVENTORY_SHOTGUN) { case 1: { switch(INVENTORY_SHELLS) { case 10: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_SHOTGUN - 10); default: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_SHOTGUN); } //end switch } //end case default: { #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_WEAPONS_STAY) switch(INVENTORY_SHELLS) { case 20: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_SHOTGUN); case 100: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_SHOTGUN - 10); default: return balance(5, 3, 7); } //end switch #else return 0; #endif } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "weapon_supershotgun" { switch(INVENTORY_SUPERSHOTGUN) { case 1: { switch(INVENTORY_SHELLS) { case 10: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_SUPERSHOTGUN - 10); default: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_SUPERSHOTGUN); } //end switch } //end case default: { #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_WEAPONS_STAY) switch(INVENTORY_SHELLS) { case 20: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_SUPERSHOTGUN); case 100: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_SUPERSHOTGUN - 10); default: return balance(5, 3, 7); } //end switch #else return 0; #endif } //end default } //switch } //end weight weight "weapon_machinegun" { switch(INVENTORY_MACHINEGUN) { case 1: { switch(INVENTORY_BULLETS) { case 40: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_MACHINEGUN - 10); default: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_MACHINEGUN); } //end switch } //end case default: { #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_WEAPONS_STAY) switch(INVENTORY_BULLETS) { case 50: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_MACHINEGUN); case 200: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_MACHINEGUN - 10); default: return balance(5, 3, 7); } //end switch #else return 0; #endif } //end default } //switch } //end weight weight "weapon_chaingun" { switch(INVENTORY_CHAINGUN) { case 1: { switch(INVENTORY_BULLETS) { case 40: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_CHAINGUN - 10); default: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_CHAINGUN); } //end switch } //end case default: { #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_WEAPONS_STAY) switch(INVENTORY_BULLETS) { case 50: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_CHAINGUN); case 200: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_CHAINGUN - 10); default: return balance(5, 3, 7); } //end switch #else return 0; #endif } //end default } //switch } //end weight weight "weapon_grenadelauncher" { switch(INVENTORY_GRENADELAUNCHER) { case 1: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_GRENADELAUNCHER); default: { #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_WEAPONS_STAY) switch(INVENTORY_GRENADES) { case 16: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_GRENADELAUNCHER); case 50: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_GRENADELAUNCHER - 10); default: return balance(5, 3, 7); } //end switch #else return 0; #endif } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "weapon_rocketlauncher" { switch(INVENTORY_ROCKETLAUNCHER) { case 1: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_ROCKETLAUNCHER); default: { #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_WEAPONS_STAY) switch(INVENTORY_ROCKETS) { case 16: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_ROCKETLAUNCHER); case 50: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_ROCKETLAUNCHER - 10); default: return balance(5, 3, 7); } //end switch #else return 0; #endif } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "weapon_hyperblaster" { switch(INVENTORY_HYPERBLASTER) { case 1: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_HYPERBLASTER); default: { #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_WEAPONS_STAY) switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 16: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_HYPERBLASTER); case 200: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_HYPERBLASTER - 10); default: return balance(5, 3, 7); } //end switch #else return 0; #endif } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "weapon_railgun" { switch(INVENTORY_RAILGUN) { case 1: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_RAILGUN); default: { #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_WEAPONS_STAY) switch(INVENTORY_SLUGS) { case 16: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_RAILGUN); case 50: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_RAILGUN - 10); default: return balance(5, 3, 7); } //end switch #else return 0; #endif } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "weapon_bfg" { switch(INVENTORY_BFG10K) { case 1: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_BFG10K); default: { #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_WEAPONS_STAY) switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 16: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_BFG10K); case 200: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_BFG10K - 10); default: return balance(5, 3, 7); } //end switch #else return 0; #endif } //end default } //end switch } //end weight #ifdef XATRIX weight "weapon_boomer" { switch(INVENTORY_IONRIPPER) { case 1: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_IONRIPPER); default: { #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_WEAPONS_STAY) switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 40: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_IONRIPPER); case 200: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_IONRIPPER - 10); default: return balance(5, 3, 7); } //end switch #else return 0; #endif } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "weapon_phalanx" { switch(INVENTORY_PHALANX) { case 1: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_PHALANX); default: { #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_WEAPONS_STAY) switch(INVENTORY_MAGSLUGS) { case 15: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_PHALANX); case 50: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_PHALANX - 10); default: return balance(5, 3, 7); } //end switch #else return 0; #endif } //end default } //end switch } //end weight #endif //XATRIX #ifdef ROGUE weight "weapon_etf_rifle" { switch(INVENTORY_ETFRIFLE) { case 1: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_ETFRIFLE); default: { #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_WEAPONS_STAY) switch(INVENTORY_FLECHETTES) { case 40: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_ETFRIFLE); case 200: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_ETFRIFLE - 10); default: return balance(5, 3, 7); } //end switch #else return 0; #endif } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "weapon_proxlauncher" { switch(INVENTORY_PROXLAUNCHER) { case 1: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_PROXLAUNCHER); default: { #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_WEAPONS_STAY) switch(INVENTORY_PROX) { case 10: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_PROXLAUNCHER); case 50: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_PROXLAUNCHER - 10); default: return balance(5, 3, 7); } //end switch #else return 0; #endif } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "weapon_plasmabeam" { switch(INVENTORY_PLASMABEAM) { case 1: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_PLASMABEAM); default: { #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_WEAPONS_STAY) switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 50: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_PLASMABEAM); case 200: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_PLASMABEAM - 10); default: return balance(5, 3, 7); } //end switch #else return 0; #endif } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "weapon_chainfist" { switch(INVENTORY_CHAINFIST) { case 1: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_CHAINFIST); default: //does not use any ammo { return 0; } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "weapon_disintegrator" { switch(INVENTORY_DISRUPTOR) { case 1: return WEAPON_SCALE(W_DISRUPTOR); default: { #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_WEAPONS_STAY) switch(INVENTORY_ROUNDS) { case 25: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_DISRUPTOR); case 100: return WEAPON_SCALE(GWW_DISRUPTOR - 10); default: return balance(5, 3, 7); } //end switch #else return 0; #endif } //end default } //end switch } //end weight #endif //ROGUE //============================================= // AMMO // // // max ammo: normal, bandolier, ammo pack // // shells 100 150 200 // bullets 200 250 300 // grenades 50 50 100 // rockets 50 50 100 // cells 200 250 300 // slugs 50 75 100 // // traps 5 5 5 // mag slugs 50 75 100 // // flechettes 200 250 200 // prox 50 50 50 // tesla 50 50 50 // rounds 100 150 200 // //============================================= weight "ammo_grenades" { switch(INVENTORY_AMMOPACK) { case 1: //if no ammo pack { switch(INVENTORY_GRENADES) { case 15: return balance(30, 28, 32); case 30: return balance(20, 18, 22); case 50: return balance(10, 8, 12); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end case default: //with ammo pack { switch(INVENTORY_GRENADES) { case 15: return balance(30, 28, 32); case 30: return balance(20, 18, 22); case 100: return balance(10, 8, 12); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "ammo_shells" { switch(INVENTORY_AMMOPACK) { case 1: //if no ammo pack { switch(INVENTORY_BANDOLIER) { case 1: //if no bondolier { switch(INVENTORY_SHELLS) { case 15: return balance(25, 23, 27); case 30: return balance(15, 13, 17); case 100: return balance(5, 3, 7); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end case default: //with bondolier { switch(INVENTORY_SHELLS) { case 15: return balance(25, 23, 27); case 30: return balance(15, 13, 17); case 150: return balance(5, 3, 7); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end case } //end switch } //end case default: //with ammo pack { switch(INVENTORY_SHELLS) { case 15: return balance(25, 23, 27); case 30: return balance(15, 13, 17); case 200: return balance(5, 3, 7); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "ammo_bullets" { switch(INVENTORY_AMMOPACK) { case 1: //if no ammo pack { switch(INVENTORY_BANDOLIER) { case 1: //if no bondolier { switch(INVENTORY_BULLETS) { case 15: return balance(35, 33, 37); case 30: return balance(25, 23, 27); case 200: return balance(15, 13, 17); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end case default: //with bondolier { switch(INVENTORY_BULLETS) { case 15: return balance(35, 33, 37); case 30: return balance(25, 23, 27); case 250: return balance(15, 13, 17); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end case } //end switch } //end case default: //with ammo pack { switch(INVENTORY_BULLETS) { case 15: return balance(35, 33, 37); case 30: return balance(25, 23, 27); case 300: return balance(15, 13, 17); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "ammo_cells" { switch(INVENTORY_AMMOPACK) { case 1: //if no ammo pack { switch(INVENTORY_BANDOLIER) { case 1: //if no bondolier { switch(INVENTORY_BFG10K) { case 1: { switch(INVENTORY_HYPERBLASTER) { case 1: { switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 50: return balance(45, 43, 47); case 200: return balance(15, 13, 17); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end default default: { switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 200: return balance(20, 18, 22); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end default default: { switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 51: return balance(50, 48, 52); case 100: return balance(45, 43, 47); case 200: return balance(35, 33, 37); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end case default: //with bondolier { switch(INVENTORY_BFG10K) { case 1: { switch(INVENTORY_HYPERBLASTER) { case 1: { switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 50: return balance(45, 43, 47); case 250: return balance(15, 13, 17); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end default default: { switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 250: return balance(20, 18, 22); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end default default: { switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 51: return balance(50, 48, 52); case 100: return balance(45, 43, 47); case 250: return balance(35, 33, 37); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end case } //end switch } //end case default: //with ammo pack { switch(INVENTORY_BFG10K) { case 1: { switch(INVENTORY_HYPERBLASTER) { case 1: { switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 50: return balance(45, 43, 47); case 300: return balance(15, 13, 17); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end default default: { switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 300: return balance(20, 18, 22); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end default default: { switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 51: return balance(50, 48, 52); case 100: return balance(45, 43, 47); case 300: return balance(35, 33, 37); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "ammo_rockets" { switch(INVENTORY_AMMOPACK) { case 1: //if no ammo pack { switch(INVENTORY_ROCKETLAUNCHER) { case 1: //if a rocket launcher { switch(INVENTORY_ROCKETS) { case 15: return balance(45, 43, 47); case 30: return balance(40, 38, 42); case 50: return balance(25, 23, 27); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end default default: { switch(INVENTORY_ROCKETS) { case 15: return balance(35, 33, 37); case 30: return balance(30, 28, 32); case 50: return balance(15, 13, 17); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end case default: //with ammo pack { switch(INVENTORY_ROCKETLAUNCHER) { case 1: //if a rocket launcher { switch(INVENTORY_ROCKETS) { case 15: return balance(45, 43, 47); case 30: return balance(40, 38, 42); case 100: return balance(25, 23, 27); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end default default: { switch(INVENTORY_ROCKETS) { case 15: return balance(35, 33, 37); case 30: return balance(30, 28, 32); case 100: return balance(15, 13, 17); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "ammo_slugs" { switch(INVENTORY_AMMOPACK) { case 1: //if no ammo pack { switch(INVENTORY_BANDOLIER) { case 1: //if no bondolier { switch(INVENTORY_RAILGUN) { case 1: { switch(INVENTORY_SLUGS) { case 15: return balance(35, 33, 37); case 30: return balance(15, 13, 17); case 50: return balance(5, 3, 7); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end case default: { switch(INVENTORY_SLUGS) { case 15: return balance(25, 23, 27); case 30: return balance(10, 8, 12); case 50: return balance(5, 3, 7); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end case } //end switch } //end case default: //with bondolier { switch(INVENTORY_RAILGUN) { case 1: { switch(INVENTORY_SLUGS) { case 15: return balance(35, 33, 37); case 30: return balance(15, 13, 17); case 75: return balance(5, 3, 7); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end case default: { switch(INVENTORY_SLUGS) { case 15: return balance(25, 23, 27); case 30: return balance(10, 8, 12); case 75: return balance(5, 3, 7); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end case } //end switch } //end case } //end switch } //end case default: //with ammo pack { switch(INVENTORY_RAILGUN) { case 1: { switch(INVENTORY_SLUGS) { case 15: return balance(35, 33, 37); case 30: return balance(15, 13, 17); case 100: return balance(5, 3, 7); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end case default: { switch(INVENTORY_SLUGS) { case 15: return balance(25, 23, 27); case 30: return balance(10, 8, 12); case 100: return balance(5, 3, 7); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end case } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight #ifdef XATRIX weight "ammo_magslug" { return balance(20, 18, 22); } //end weight weight "ammo_trap" { return balance(20, 18, 22); } //end weight #endif //XATRIX #ifdef ROGUE weight "ammo_flechettes" { return balance(20, 18, 22); } //end weight weight "ammo_prox" { return balance(20, 18, 22); } //end weight weight "ammo_tesla" { return balance(20, 18, 22); } //end weight weight "ammo_nuke" { return balance(20, 18, 22); } //end weight weight "ammo_disruptor" { return balance(20, 18, 22); } //end weight #endif //ROGUE //============================================= // HEALTH //============================================= //increases health with 100 up to 100 weight "item_adrenaline" { switch(INVENTORY_HEALTH) { case 15: return HEALTH_SCALE(100); case 30: return HEALTH_SCALE(95); case 50: return HEALTH_SCALE(85); case 70: return HEALTH_SCALE(55); default: return HEALTH_SCALE(35); } //end switch } //end weight //increases health with 10 weight "item_health" { switch(INVENTORY_HEALTH) { case 15: return HEALTH_SCALE(95); case 30: return HEALTH_SCALE(85); case 50: return HEALTH_SCALE(75); case 70: return HEALTH_SCALE(45); case 100: return HEALTH_SCALE(25); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end weight //increases health with 2 weight "item_health_small" { switch(INVENTORY_HEALTH) { case 15: return HEALTH_SCALE(92); case 30: return HEALTH_SCALE(82); case 50: return HEALTH_SCALE(72); case 70: return HEALTH_SCALE(42); case 100: return HEALTH_SCALE(22); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end weight //increases health with 25 weight "item_health_large" { switch(INVENTORY_HEALTH) { case 15: return HEALTH_SCALE(100); case 30: return HEALTH_SCALE(90); case 50: return HEALTH_SCALE(80); case 70: return HEALTH_SCALE(50); case 100: return HEALTH_SCALE(30); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end weight //increases health with 100 up to 999 weight "item_health_mega" { switch(INVENTORY_HEALTH) { case 15: return HEALTH_SCALE(100); case 30: return HEALTH_SCALE(90); case 50: return HEALTH_SCALE(80); case 70: return HEALTH_SCALE(50); case 100: return HEALTH_SCALE(40); default: return HEALTH_SCALE(W_MEGAHEALTH); } //end switch } //end weight //============================================= // ARMOR //============================================= weight "item_armor_body" //red { switch(INVENTORY_ARMORBODY) //red { case 1: //no red armor { switch(INVENTORY_ARMORCOMBAT) //yellow { case 1: //no yellow armor { switch(INVENTORY_ARMORJACKET) //green { case 1: return ARMOR_SCALE(70); //no green armor case 50: return ARMOR_SCALE(65); default: return ARMOR_SCALE(60); } //end switch } //end case default: return ARMOR_SCALE(60); } //end switch } //end case case 100: return ARMOR_SCALE(60); case 200: return ARMOR_SCALE(50); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end weight weight "item_armor_combat" //yellow { switch(INVENTORY_ARMORBODY) //red { case 1: //no red armor { switch(INVENTORY_ARMORCOMBAT) //yellow { case 1: //no yellow armor { switch(INVENTORY_ARMORJACKET) //green { case 1: return ARMOR_SCALE(65); //no green armor case 50: return ARMOR_SCALE(60); default: return ARMOR_SCALE(55); } //end switch } //end case case 100: return ARMOR_SCALE(65); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end case case 100: return ARMOR_SCALE(50); case 200: return ARMOR_SCALE(40); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end weight weight "item_armor_jacket" //green { switch(INVENTORY_ARMORBODY) //red { case 1: //no red armor { switch(INVENTORY_ARMORCOMBAT) //yellow { case 1: //no yellow armor { switch(INVENTORY_ARMORJACKET) //green { case 1: return ARMOR_SCALE(50); //no green armor case 50: return ARMOR_SCALE(40); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end case case 100: return ARMOR_SCALE(40); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end case case 100: return ARMOR_SCALE(40); case 200: return ARMOR_SCALE(30); default: return 0; } //end switch } //end weight weight "item_armor_shard" { switch(INVENTORY_ARMORBODY) //red { case 1: //no red armor { switch(INVENTORY_ARMORCOMBAT) //yellow { case 1: //no yellow armor { switch(INVENTORY_ARMORJACKET) //green { case 1: return ARMOR_SCALE(5); //no green armor case 50: return ARMOR_SCALE(4); default: return ARMOR_SCALE(2); } //end switch } //end case case 100: return ARMOR_SCALE(5); default: return ARMOR_SCALE(2); } //end switch } //end case case 100: return ARMOR_SCALE(4); case 200: return ARMOR_SCALE(3); default: return ARMOR_SCALE(2); } //end switch } //end weight weight "item_power_screen" //"Power Screen" { switch(INVENTORY_POWERSCREEN) { case 1: //no powerscreen { switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 1: //no cells { return ARMOR_SCALE(W_POWERSCREEN); } //end case default: return ARMOR_SCALE(W_POWERSCREEN+2); } //end switch } //end case default: return 1; } //end switch } //end weight weight "item_power_shield" //"Power Shield" { switch(INVENTORY_POWERSHIELD) { case 1: //no powershield { switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 1: //no cells { return ARMOR_SCALE(W_POWERSHIELD); } //end case default: return ARMOR_SCALE(W_POWERSHIELD+2); } //end switch } //end case default: return 1; } //end switch } //end weight //============================================= // POWERUPS //============================================= weight "item_pack" //"Ammo Pack" { switch(INVENTORY_AMMOPACK) { case 1: //no ammo pack { return POWERUP_SCALE(W_AMMOPACK); } //end case default: return balance(5, 3, 7); } //end switch } //end weight weight "item_bandolier" //"Bandolier" { switch(INVENTORY_BANDOLIER) { case 1: //no bandolier { return POWERUP_SCALE(W_BANDOLIER); } //end case default: return balance(4, 2, 6); } //end switch } //end weight weight "item_quad" //"Quad Damage" { return POWERUP_SCALE(W_QUAD); } //end weight weight "item_invulnerability" //"Invulnerability" { return POWERUP_SCALE(W_INVULNERABILITY); } //end weight weight "item_silencer" //"Silencer" { return POWERUP_SCALE(W_SILENCER); } //end weight weight "item_breather" //"Rebreather" { return POWERUP_SCALE(W_REBREATHER); } //end weight weight "item_enviro" //"Environment Suit" { return POWERUP_SCALE(W_ENVIRO); } //end weight #ifdef XATRIX weight "item_quadfire" { return POWERUP_SCALE(W_QUADFIRE); } //end weight #endif //XATRIX #ifdef ROGUE weight "item_ir_goggles" { return POWERUP_SCALE(W_IR_GOGGLES); } //end weight weight "item_double" { return POWERUP_SCALE(W_DOUBLE); } //end weight weight "item_compass" { return POWERUP_SCALE(W_COMPASS); } //end weight weight "item_sphere_vengeance" { return POWERUP_SCALE(W_SPHERE_VENGEANCE); } //end weight weight "item_sphere_hunter" { return POWERUP_SCALE(W_SPHERE_HUNTER); } //end weight weight "item_sphere_defender" { return POWERUP_SCALE(W_SPHERE_DEFENDER); } //end weight weight "item_doppleganger" { return POWERUP_SCALE(W_DOPPLEGANGER); } //end weight weight "dm_tag_token" { return POWERUP_SCALE(W_TAG_TOKEN); } //end weight #endif //ROGUE //============================================= // CTF techs //============================================= weight "item_tech1" // Resistance Tech \ Disruptor Shield { switch(INVENTORY_TECH1) { case 1: //no tech1 { switch(INVENTORY_TECH2) { case 1: //no tech2 { switch(INVENTORY_TECH3) { case 1: //no tech3 { switch(INVENTORY_TECH4) { case 1: //no tech4 { return TECH1_WEIGHT; } //end case default: return $evalfloat(TECH1_WEIGHT > TECH4_WEIGHT ? TECH1_WEIGHT : 0); } //end switch } //end case default: return $evalfloat(TECH1_WEIGHT > TECH3_WEIGHT ? TECH1_WEIGHT : 0); } //end switch } //end case default: return $evalfloat(TECH1_WEIGHT > TECH2_WEIGHT ? TECH1_WEIGHT : 0); } //end switch } //end case default: return 0; //already has tech1 } //end switch } //end weight weight "item_tech2" // Strength Tech \ Power Amplifier { switch(INVENTORY_TECH1) { case 1: //no tech1 { switch(INVENTORY_TECH2) { case 1: //no tech2 { switch(INVENTORY_TECH3) { case 1: //no tech3 { switch(INVENTORY_TECH4) { case 1: //no tech4 { return TECH2_WEIGHT; } //end case default: return $evalfloat(TECH2_WEIGHT > TECH4_WEIGHT ? TECH2_WEIGHT : 0); } //end switch } //end case default: return $evalfloat(TECH2_WEIGHT > TECH3_WEIGHT ? TECH2_WEIGHT : 0); } //end switch } //end case default: return 0; //already has tech2 } //end switch } //end case default: return $evalfloat(TECH2_WEIGHT > TECH1_WEIGHT ? TECH2_WEIGHT : 0); } //end switch } //end weight weight "item_tech3" // Haste Tech \ Time Accel { switch(INVENTORY_TECH1) { case 1: //no tech1 { switch(INVENTORY_TECH2) { case 1: //no tech2 { switch(INVENTORY_TECH3) { case 1: //no tech3 { switch(INVENTORY_TECH4) { case 1: //no tech4 { return TECH3_WEIGHT; } //end case default: return $evalfloat(TECH3_WEIGHT > TECH4_WEIGHT ? TECH3_WEIGHT : 0); } //end switch } //end case default: return 0; //already has tech3 } //end switch } //end case default: return $evalfloat(TECH3_WEIGHT > TECH2_WEIGHT ? TECH3_WEIGHT : 0); } //end switch } //end case default: return $evalfloat(TECH3_WEIGHT > TECH1_WEIGHT ? TECH3_WEIGHT : 0); } //end switch } //end weight weight "item_tech4" // Regeneration Tech \ AutoDoc { switch(INVENTORY_TECH1) { case 1: //no tech1 { switch(INVENTORY_TECH2) { case 1: //no tech2 { switch(INVENTORY_TECH3) { case 1: //no tech3 { switch(INVENTORY_TECH4) { case 1: //no tech4 { return TECH4_WEIGHT; } //end case default: return 0; //already has tech4 } //end switch } //end case default: return $evalfloat(TECH4_WEIGHT > TECH3_WEIGHT ? TECH4_WEIGHT : 0); } //end switch } //end case default: return $evalfloat(TECH4_WEIGHT > TECH2_WEIGHT ? TECH4_WEIGHT : 0); } //end switch } //end case default: return $evalfloat(TECH4_WEIGHT > TECH1_WEIGHT ? TECH4_WEIGHT : 0); } //end switch } //end weight //============================================= // for dropped CTF flags //============================================= weight "item_flag_team1" //Red Flag { switch(INVENTORY_FLAG1) { case 1: //not carrying the red flag { switch(INVENTORY_FLAG2) { case 1: //not carrying the blue flag { return FLAG_WEIGHT; } //end case default: //bot carrying the blue flag so go back to the base { return 200; } //end case } //end switch } //end case default: //bot carrying the red flag, so don't go back { return 0; } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "item_flag_team2" //Blue Flag { switch(INVENTORY_FLAG2) { case 1: //not carrying the blue flag { switch(INVENTORY_FLAG1) { case 1: //not carrying the red flag { return FLAG_WEIGHT; } //end case default: //bot is carrying the red flag so go back to the base { return 200; } //end case } //end switch } //end case default: //bot is carrying the blue flag, so don't go back { return 0; } //end default } //end switch } //end weight //=========================================================================== // // Name: game.h // Function: game settings // Programmer: Mr Elusive (MrElusive@demigod.demon.nl) // Last update: 1999-04-11 // Tab Size: 3 (real tabs) //=========================================================================== #ifndef DEATHMATCH #define DEATHMATCH 1 #endif #ifndef DMFLAGS #define DMFLAGS 0 #endif #define XATRIX 1 #define ROGUE 1 #define DF_NO_HEALTH 1 //Health, Adrenaline and the AncientHead are removed #define DF_NO_ITEMS 2 //all powerups are removed #define DF_WEAPONS_STAY 4 //weapons stay #define DF_NO_FALLING 8 //no falling damage #define DF_INSTANT_ITEMS 16 //powerups are used instantly when picked up #define DF_SAME_LEVEL 32 //same level is played over and over again #define DF_SKINTEAMS 64 //teamplay based on skin #define DF_MODELTEAMS 128 //teamplay based on model #define DF_NO_FRIENDLY_FIRE 256 //no friendly fire #define DF_SPAWN_FARTHEST 512 //spawn as far away from the death point #define DF_FORCE_RESPAWN 1024 //force players to respawn #define DF_NO_ARMOR 2048 //All armor is removed #define DF_ALLOW_EXIT 4096 //allow player to exit the map #define DF_INFINITE_AMMO 8192 //all ammo and the bfg are removed #define DF_QUAD_DROP 16384 //drop the quad when died when using #define DF_FIXED_FOV 32768 //field of vision is fixed //=========================================================================== // // Name: fw_weap.c // Function: // Programmer: Mr Elusive (MrElusive@demigod.demon.nl) // Last update: 1998-12-16 (by Squatt) // Tab Size: 3 (real tabs) //=========================================================================== weight "Blaster" { return blaster; } //end weight weight "Shotgun" { switch(INVENTORY_SHOTGUN) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(INVENTORY_SHELLS) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(USING_QUAD) { case 1: return shotgun; //not using quad default: { return quad_shotgun; //using quad } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "Super Shotgun" { switch(INVENTORY_SUPERSHOTGUN) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(INVENTORY_SHELLS) { case 2: return 0; default: { switch(USING_QUAD) { case 1: return sshotgun; //not using quad default: { return quad_sshotgun; //using quad } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "Machinegun" { switch(INVENTORY_MACHINEGUN) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(INVENTORY_BULLETS) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(USING_QUAD) { case 1: return machinegun; default: { return quad_machinegun; } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "Chaingun" { switch(INVENTORY_CHAINGUN) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(INVENTORY_BULLETS) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(USING_QUAD) { case 1: return chaingun; default: { return quad_chaingun; } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "Grenades" { switch(INVENTORY_GRENADES) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(ENEMY_HORIZONTAL_DIST) { case 65: //enemy is self damage close { return self_dmg_grenades; } //end case case 120: //enemy is too far???? { return 0;//enemy is too far away } //end case default: { return grenades; } } } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "Grenade Launcher" { switch(INVENTORY_GRENADELAUNCHER) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(INVENTORY_GRENADES) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(USING_QUAD) { case 1: { switch(ENEMY_HORIZONTAL_DIST) { case 65: //enemy is self damage close { return self_dmg_grenadelauncher; } //end case case 300: //enemy is too far???? { return 0;//enemy is too far away } //end case default: { return grenadelauncher; } //end default } //end switch } //end case default: { return quad_grenadelauncher; } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "Rocket Launcher" { switch(INVENTORY_ROCKETLAUNCHER) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(INVENTORY_ROCKETS) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(USING_INVULNERABILITY) { case 1: //not using invulnerability { switch(USING_QUAD) { case 1: //not using quad { switch(ENEMY_HORIZONTAL_DIST) { case 65: //enemy is self damage close { return self_dmg_rocketlauncher; } //end case default: //enemy is far enough so bot won't hurt itself { return rocketlauncher; } //end default } //end switch } //end case default: //using the quad { switch(ENEMY_HORIZONTAL_DIST) { case 120: //enemy is self damage close { return self_dmg_rocketlauncher; } //end case default: { return quad_rocketlauncher; } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end case default: //using the invulnerability { return invul_rocketlauncher; } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "HyperBlaster" { switch(INVENTORY_HYPERBLASTER) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(USING_POWERSHIELD) { case 1: //not using powershield { switch(USING_QUAD) { case 1:return hyperblaster; //not using quad and no powershield default: { return quad_hyperblaster; //using quad and no powershield } //end default } //end switch } //end case default: //using the powershield { return pwrshield_hyperblaster; } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "Railgun" { switch(INVENTORY_RAILGUN) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(INVENTORY_SLUGS) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(USING_QUAD) { case 1: return railgun; //not using quad default: { return quad_railgun; //using quad } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight #define MZ(value) (value) < 0 ? 0 : (value) //MZ is for make-zero; no negative values are allowed :0 #define BFG10K_WEIGHT(scale, add) \ switch(NUM_VISIBLE_TEAMMATES)\ {\ case 1:\ {\ switch(USING_POWERSHIELD)\ {\ case 1: return $evalfloat(MZ(BFG10K * scale + add));\ default: return $evalfloat(MZ(pwrshield_BFG10K * scale + add));\ //has the powerscreen so do not use up the cells }\ //end switch }\ //end case case 2:\ {\ switch(NUM_VISIBLE_ENEMIES)\ {\ case 2:\ {\ switch(USING_POWERSHIELD)\ {\ case 1: return $evalfloat(MZ(BFG10K * scale + add));\ default: return $evalfloat(MZ(pwrshield_BFG10K * scale + add));\ //has the powerscreen so do not use up the cells }\ //end switch }\ //end case default:\ {\ switch(USING_POWERSHIELD)\ {\ case 1: return $evalfloat(MZ(BFG10K * scale + add));\ default: return $evalfloat(MZ(pwrshield_BFG10K * scale + add));\ //has the powerscreen so do not use up the cells }\ //end switch }\ //end case }\ //end switch }\ //end case default:\ {\ switch(USING_POWERSHIELD)\ {\ case 1: return $evalfloat(MZ(BFG10K * scale + add));\ default: return $evalfloat(MZ(pwrshield_BFG10K * scale + add));\ //has the powerscreen so do not use up the cells }\ //end switch }\ //end default } //end switch weight "BFG10K" { switch(INVENTORY_BFG10K) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 50: return 0; default: { switch(USING_INVULNERABILITY) { case 1: //not using invulnerability { switch(USING_QUAD) { case 1: //not using quad { switch(ENEMY_HORIZONTAL_DIST) { case 65: //enemy is so close the bot will hurt self: value will be { BFG10K_WEIGHT(1, add_too_close) } //end case default: //enemy is far enough so bot won't hurt itself, value will be { BFG10K_WEIGHT(1, 0) } //end default } //end switch } //end case default: //using the quad { switch(ENEMY_HORIZONTAL_DIST) { case 120: //enemy is self damage close { BFG10K_WEIGHT(1, add_too_close) } //end case default: { BFG10K_WEIGHT(1, add_quad) } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end case default: //using the invulnerability { BFG10K_WEIGHT(1, add_invuln) } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight #ifdef XATRIX //shoots bouncing red cells weight "Ionripper" { switch(INVENTORY_IONRIPPER) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(USING_POWERSHIELD) { case 1: //not using powershield { switch(USING_QUAD) { case 1:return hyperblaster; //not using quad and no powershield default: { return quad_hyperblaster; //using quad and no powershield } //end default } //end switch } //end case default: //using the powershield { return pwrshield_hyperblaster; } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight //sort of double rocket launcher weight "Phalanx" { switch(INVENTORY_PHALANX) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(INVENTORY_MAGSLUGS) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(USING_INVULNERABILITY) { case 1: //not using invulnerability { switch(USING_QUAD) { case 1: //not using quad { switch(ENEMY_HORIZONTAL_DIST) { case 65: //enemy is self damage close { return self_dmg_rocketlauncher; } //end case default: //enemy is far enough so bot won't hurt itself { return rocketlauncher; } //end default } //end switch } //end case default: //using the quad { switch(ENEMY_HORIZONTAL_DIST) { case 120: //enemy is self damage close { return self_dmg_rocketlauncher; } //end case default: { return quad_rocketlauncher; } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end case default: //using the invulnerability { return invul_rocketlauncher; } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "Trap" { switch(INVENTORY_TRAP) { case 1: return 0; default: return 40; } //end switch } //end weight #endif //XATRIX #ifdef ROGUE weight "ETF Rifle" { switch(INVENTORY_ETFRIFLE) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(INVENTORY_FLECHETTES) { case 1: return 0; default: return 40; } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "Prox Launcher" { switch(INVENTORY_PROXLAUNCHER) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(INVENTORY_PROX) { case 1: return 0; default: return 40; } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "Tesla" { switch(INVENTORY_TESLA) { case 1: return 0; default: return 40; } //end switch } //end weight weight "Plasma Beam" { switch(INVENTORY_PLASMABEAM) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(INVENTORY_CELLS) { case 1: return 0; default: return 40; } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "Chainfist" { switch(INVENTORY_CHAINFIST) { case 1: return 0; default: //does not use any ammo { return 40; } //end default } //end switch } //end weight weight "Disruptor" { switch(INVENTORY_DISRUPTOR) { case 1: return 0; default: { switch(INVENTORY_ROUNDS) { case 1: return 0; default: return 40; } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end weight #endif //ROGUE //=========================================================================== // // Name: fw_aggr.c // Function: // Programmer: Mr Elusive (MrElusive@demigod.demon.nl) // Last update: 1998-10-18 (by Squatt) // Tab Size: 3 (real tabs) //=========================================================================== #define HAS_SUPERSHOTGUN \ switch(INVENTORY_SUPERSHOTGUN)\ {\ case 1:\ //has no super shotgun {\ return balance(0, 0, 20);\ }\ //end case default:\ {\ switch(INVENTORY_SHELLS)\ {\ case 15:\ //too few shells {\ return balance(0, 0, 20);\ }\ //end case default: return balance(100, 80, 100);\ }\ //end switch }\ //end default }\ //end switch #define HAS_MACHINEGUN \ switch(INVENTORY_MACHINEGUN)\ {\ case 1:\ //has no machinegun {\ HAS_SUPERSHOTGUN\ }\ //end case default:\ {\ switch(INVENTORY_BULLETS)\ {\ case 50:\ //too few bullets {\ HAS_SUPERSHOTGUN\ }\ //end case default: return balance(100, 80, 100);\ }\ //end switch }\ //end default }\ //end switch #define HAS_CHAINGUN \ switch(INVENTORY_CHAINGUN)\ {\ case 1:\ //has no chaingun {\ HAS_MACHINEGUN\ }\ //end case default:\ {\ switch(INVENTORY_BULLETS)\ {\ case 100:\ //too few bullets {\ HAS_MACHINEGUN\ }\ //end case default: return balance(100, 80, 100);\ }\ //end switch }\ //end default }\ //end switch #define HAS_GRENADELAUNCHER \ switch(INVENTORY_GRENADELAUNCHER)\ {\ case 1:\ //has no grenade launcher {\ HAS_CHAINGUN\ }\ //end case default:\ {\ switch(INVENTORY_GRENADES)\ {\ case 5:\ //too few grenades {\ HAS_CHAINGUN\ }\ //end case default: return balance(100, 80, 100);\ }\ //end switch }\ //end default }\ //end switch #define HAS_ROCKETLAUNCHER \ switch(INVENTORY_ROCKETLAUNCHER)\ {\ case 1:\ //has no rocket launcher {\ HAS_GRENADELAUNCHER\ }\ //end case default:\ {\ switch(INVENTORY_ROCKETS)\ {\ case 5:\ //too few rockets {\ HAS_GRENADELAUNCHER\ }\ //end case default: return balance(100, 80, 100);\ }\ //end switch }\ //end default }\ //end switch #define HAS_HYPERBLASTER \ switch(INVENTORY_HYPERBLASTER)\ {\ case 1:\ //has no hyperblaster {\ HAS_ROCKETLAUNCHER\ }\ //end case default:\ {\ switch(INVENTORY_CELLS)\ {\ case 50:\ //too few cells {\ HAS_ROCKETLAUNCHER\ }\ //end case default: return balance(100, 80, 100);\ }\ //end switch }\ //end default }\ //end switch #define HAS_RAILGUN \ switch(INVENTORY_RAILGUN)\ {\ case 1:\ //has no railgun {\ HAS_HYPERBLASTER\ }\ //end case default:\ {\ switch(INVENTORY_SLUGS)\ {\ case 5:\ //too few slugs {\ HAS_HYPERBLASTER\ }\ //end case default: return balance(100, 80, 100);\ }\ //end switch }\ //end default }\ //end switch #define HAS_BFG10K \ switch(INVENTORY_BFG10K)\ {\ case 1:\ //has no bfg10k {\ HAS_RAILGUN\ }\ //end case default:\ {\ switch(INVENTORY_CELLS)\ {\ case 50:\ //too few to fire the bfg {\ HAS_RAILGUN\ }\ //end case default: return balance(100, 80, 100);\ }\ //end switch }\ //end default } //end switch #define ENOUGH_HEALTH \ switch(INVENTORY_HEALTH)\ {\ case 40: return balance(0, 0, 20);\ case 90:\ {\ switch(INVENTORY_ARMORBODY)\ {\ case 40:\ {\ switch(INVENTORY_ARMORCOMBAT)\ {\ case 50:\ {\ switch(INVENTORY_ARMORJACKET)\ {\ case 60:\ {\ return balance(0, 0, 20);\ }\ //end case default: HAS_BFG10K\ }\ //end switch }\ //end case default: HAS_BFG10K\ }\ //end switch }\ //end case default: HAS_BFG10K\ }\ //end switch }\ //end case default:\ {\ HAS_BFG10K\ }\ //end default } //end switch #define POWERSCREEN \ switch(ENEMY_POWERSCREEN)\ { case 1:\ //enemy has no powerscreen {\ ENOUGH_HEALTH\ }\ //end case default\ {\ switch(USING_POWERSCREEN)\ {\ case 1:\ //not using the powerscreen {\ return balance(0, 0, 20);\ }\ //end case default:\ {\ switch(INVENTORY_CELLS)\ {\ case 50: return balance(0, 0, 20);\ default:\ {\ ENOUGH_HEALTH\ }\ //end default }\ //end switch }\ //end default }\ //end switch }\ //end default } //end switch weight "aggression" { switch(USING_INVULNERABILITY) { case 1: //not using the invulnerability { switch(ENEMY_INVULNERABILITY) { case 1: //enemy has no invulnerability { switch(ENEMY_QUAD) { case 1: //enemy is not using the quad { POWERSCREEN } //end case default: //enemy is using the quad { switch(USING_QUAD) { case 1: //not using the quad { return balance(0, 0, 20); } //end case default: { POWERSCREEN } //end default } //end switch } //end default } //end switch } //end case default: return balance(0, 0, 20); } //end switch } //end if default: return balance(100, 80, 100); } //end switch } //end weight //=========================================================================== // // Name: items.c // Function: item configuration // Programmer: Mr Elusive (MrElusive@demigod.demon.nl) // Last update: 1998-12-16 // Tab Size: 3 (real tabs) //=========================================================================== #include "inv.h" #include "game.h" #define ITEM_NONE 0 #define ITEM_AMMO 1 #define ITEM_WEAPON 2 #define ITEM_HEALTH 3 #define ITEM_ARMOR 4 #define ITEM_POWERUP 5 #define ITEM_KEY 6 #define ITEM_FLAG 7 //=================================== // ARMOR //=================================== #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_NO_ARMOR) iteminfo "item_armor_body" { name "Body Armor" model "models/items/armor/body/tris.md2" type ITEM_ARMOR index INVENTORY_ARMORBODY respawntime 20 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_armor_combat" { name "Combat Armor" model "models/items/armor/combat/tris.md2" type ITEM_ARMOR index INVENTORY_ARMORCOMBAT respawntime 20 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_armor_jacket" { name "Jacket Armor" model "models/items/armor/jacket/tris.md2" type ITEM_ARMOR index INVENTORY_ARMORJACKET respawntime 20 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_armor_shard" { name "Armor Shard" model "models/items/armor/shard/tris.md2" type ITEM_ARMOR index INVENTORY_ARMORSHARD respawntime 20 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_power_screen" { name "Power Screen" model "models/items/armor/screen/tris.md2" type ITEM_ARMOR index INVENTORY_POWERSCREEN respawntime 60 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_power_shield" { name "Power Shield" model "models/items/armor/shield/tris.md2" type ITEM_ARMOR index INVENTORY_POWERSHIELD respawntime 60 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo #endif //!(DMFLAGS & DF_NO_ARMOR) //=================================== // WEAPONS //=================================== /* iteminfo "weapon_blaster" { name "Blaster" model "models/weapons/g_blast/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_BLASTER respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo*/ iteminfo "weapon_shotgun" { name "Shotgun" model "models/weapons/g_shotg/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_SHOTGUN respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "weapon_supershotgun" { name "Super Shotgun" model "models/weapons/g_shotg2/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_SUPERSHOTGUN respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "weapon_machinegun" { name "Machinegun" model "models/weapons/g_machn/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_MACHINEGUN respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "weapon_chaingun" { name "Chaingun" model "models/weapons/g_chain/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_CHAINGUN respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "ammo_grenades" { name "Grenades" model "models/items/ammo/grenades/medium/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_GRENADES respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "weapon_grenadelauncher" { name "Grenade Launcher" model "models/weapons/g_launch/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_GRENADELAUNCHER respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "weapon_rocketlauncher" { name "Rocket Launcher" model "models/weapons/g_rocket/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_ROCKETLAUNCHER respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "weapon_hyperblaster" { name "HyperBlaster" model "models/weapons/g_hyperb/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_HYPERBLASTER respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "weapon_railgun" { name "Railgun" model "models/weapons/g_rail/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_RAILGUN respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_INFINITE_AMMO) iteminfo "weapon_bfg" { name "BFG10K" model "models/weapons/g_bfg/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_BFG10K respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo #endif //!(DMFLAGS & DF_INFINITE_AMMO) #ifdef XATRIX iteminfo "weapon_boomer" { name "Ionripper" model "models/weapons/g_boom/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_IONRIPPER respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "weapon_phalanx" { name "Phalanx" model "models/weapons/g_shotx/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_PHALANX respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo #endif //XATRIX #ifdef ROGUE iteminfo "weapon_etf_rifle" { name "ETF Rifle" model "models/weapons/g_etf_rifle/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_ETFRIFLE respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "weapon_proxlauncher" { name "Prox Launcher" model "models/weapons/g_plaunch/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_PROXLAUNCHER respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "weapon_plasmabeam" { name "Plasma Beam" model "models/weapons/g_beamer/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_PLASMABEAM respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "weapon_chainfist" { name "Chainfist" model "models/weapons/g_chainf/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_CHAINFIST respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "weapon_disintegrator" { name "Disruptor" model "models/weapons/g_dist/tris.md2" type ITEM_WEAPON index INVENTORY_DISRUPTOR respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo #endif //ROGUE //=================================== // AMMO //=================================== #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_INFINITE_AMMO) iteminfo "ammo_shells" { name "Shells" model "models/items/ammo/shells/medium/tris.md2" type ITEM_AMMO index INVENTORY_SHELLS respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "ammo_bullets" { name "Bullets" model "models/items/ammo/bullets/medium/tris.md2" type ITEM_AMMO index INVENTORY_BULLETS respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "ammo_cells" { name "Cells" model "models/items/ammo/cells/medium/tris.md2" type ITEM_AMMO index INVENTORY_CELLS respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "ammo_grenades" { name "Grenades" model "models/items/ammo/grenades/medium/tris.md2" type ITEM_AMMO index INVENTORY_GRENADES respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "ammo_rockets" { name "Rockets" model "models/items/ammo/rockets/medium/tris.md2" type ITEM_AMMO index INVENTORY_ROCKETS respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "ammo_slugs" { name "Slugs" model "models/items/ammo/slugs/medium/tris.md2" type ITEM_AMMO index INVENTORY_SLUGS respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo #ifdef XATRIX iteminfo "ammo_magslug" { name "Mag Slug" model "models/objects/ammo/tris.md2" type ITEM_AMMO index INVENTORY_MAGSLUGS respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "ammo_trap" { name "Trap" model "models/weapons/g_trap/tris.md2" type ITEM_AMMO index INVENTORY_TRAP respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo #endif //XATRIX #ifdef ROGUE iteminfo "ammo_flechettes" { name "Flechettes" model "models/ammo/am_flechette/tris.md2" type ITEM_AMMO index INVENTORY_FLECHETTES respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "ammo_prox" { name "Prox" model "models/ammo/am_prox/tris.md2" type ITEM_AMMO index INVENTORY_PROX respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "ammo_tesla" { name "Tesla" model "models/ammo/am_tesl/tris.md2" type ITEM_AMMO index INVENTORY_TESLA respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "ammo_nuke" { name "A-M Bomb" model "models/weapons/g_nuke/tris.md2" type ITEM_AMMO index INVENTORY_AMBOMB respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "ammo_disruptor" { name "Rounds" model "models/ammo/am_disr/tris.md2" type ITEM_AMMO index INVENTORY_ROUNDS respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo #endif //ROGUE #endif //!(DMFLAGS & DF_INFINITE_AMMO) //=================================== // HEALTH //=================================== #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_NO_HEALTH) iteminfo "item_health" { name "Health" model "models/items/healing/medium/tris.md2" type ITEM_HEALTH index INVENTORY_HEALTH respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_health_small" { name "Health" model "models/items/healing/stimpack/tris.md2" type ITEM_HEALTH index INVENTORY_HEALTH respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_health_large" { name "Health" model "models/items/healing/large/tris.md2" type ITEM_HEALTH index INVENTORY_HEALTH respawntime 30 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_health_mega" { name "Health" model "models/items/mega_h/tris.md2" type ITEM_HEALTH index INVENTORY_HEALTH respawntime 20 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo #endif //!(DMFLAGS & DF_NO_HEALTH) //=================================== // POWERUPS //=================================== #if !(DMFLAGS & DF_NO_ITEMS) iteminfo "item_quad" { name "Quad Damage" model "models/items/quaddama/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_QUAD respawntime 60 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_invulnerability" { name "Invulnerability" model "models/items/invulner/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_INVULNERABILITY respawntime 60 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_silencer" { name "Silencer" model "models/items/silencer/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_SILENCER respawntime 60 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_breather" { name "Rebreather" model "models/items/breather/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_REBREATHER respawntime 60 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_enviro" { name "Environment Suit" model "models/items/enviro/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_ENVIRONMENTSUIT respawntime 60 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_ancient_head" { name "Ancient Head" model "models/items/c_head/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_ANCIENTHEAD respawntime 60 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_adrenaline" { name "Adrenaline" model "models/items/adrenal/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_ANCIENTHEAD respawntime 60 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_bandolier" { name "Bandolier" model "models/items/band/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_BANDOLIER respawntime 60 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_pack" { name "Ammo Pack" model "models/items/pack/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_AMMOPACK respawntime 180 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo #ifdef XATRIX iteminfo "item_quadfire" { name "DualFire Damage" model "models/items/quadfire/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_DUALFIREDAMAGE respawntime 180 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo #endif //XATRIX #ifdef ROGUE iteminfo "item_ir_goggles" { name "IR Goggles" model "models/items/goggles/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_IRGOGGLES respawntime 180 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_double" { name "Double Damage" model "models/items/ddamage/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_DOUBLEDAMAGE respawntime 180 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_compass" { name "compass" model "models/objects/fire/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_COMPASS respawntime 180 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_sphere_vengeance" { name "vengeance sphere" model "models/items/vengnce/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_VENGEANCESPHERE respawntime 180 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_sphere_hunter" { name "hunter sphere" model "models/items/hunter/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_HUNTERSPHERE respawntime 180 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_sphere_defender" { name "defender sphere" model "models/items/defender/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_DEFENDERSPHERE respawntime 180 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_doppleganger" { name "Doppleganger" model "models/items/dopple/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_DOPPLEGANGER respawntime 180 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "dm_tag_token" { name "Tag Token" model "models/items/tagtoken/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_TAGTOKEN respawntime 180 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "dm_tag_token" { name "Tag Token" model "models/items/tagtoken/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_TAGTOKEN respawntime 180 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo #endif //ROGUE #endif //!(DMFLAGS & DF_NO_ITEMS) //=================================== // KEYS //=================================== /* "Data CD", "key_data_cd", 21 "Power Cube", "key_power_cube", 22 "Pyramid Key", "key_pyramid", 23 "Data Spinner", "key_data_spinner", 24 "Security Pass", "key_pass", 25 "Blue Key", "key_blue_key", 26 "Red Key", "key_red_key", 27 "Commander's Head", "key_commander_head", 28 "Airstrike Marker", "key_airstrike_target", 29 */ //=================================== // CTF flags //=================================== iteminfo "item_flag_team1" { name "Red Flag" model "players/male/flag1.md2" type ITEM_FLAG index INVENTORY_FLAG1 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo "item_flag_team2" { name "Blue Flag" model "players/male/flag2.md2" type ITEM_FLAG index INVENTORY_FLAG2 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo //=================================== // CTF tech //=================================== iteminfo "item_tech1" { name "Disruptor Shield" model "models/ctf/resistance/tris.md2" type ITEM_POWERUP index INVENTORY_TECH1 mins {-15,-15,-15} maxs {15,15,15} } //end iteminfo iteminfo 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